Never thought of it this way. Like Sam, I thought Cass hesitated because he didn't want to touch someone bearing demon blood. Uriel certainly feels that way. He despises Ruby, even though he knows she is trying to help. (Not quite the same, I know, but still...) I guess I should have known that the "doubter" would be more "humane". I'm afraid I don't believe that Cass sought and recieved permission from God, however. Not the Old Testament god Kripke seems to be referencing in season 4. But maybe I'm underestimating Kripke, and he'll surprise me. After all, his version of god didn't kill Anna in her human persona, even though I find it hard to believe He couldn't find her. As Dean said, just because His Believers are dicks, doesn't mean He has to be. And it's pretty clear that Kripke (like me) believes the ideal state for conscious beings is Human, for all our flaws and weaknesses. Good fic, made me think. Thanks.

It's pretty obvious that this is just how Dean feels. Well written. I just wish Sam,(or even Castiel) could make him see that that darkness is in all of us, and that he should be proud of the fact that he just SURVIVED! Whole, and sane, and able to still feel guilt and pain and remorse. And Compassion. It was his darkness that made him strong enough to hold onto himself. (Just as I believe John did. Two men who had learned to be hard and unfeeling when they had to be, to save themselves and the world. ) Has Dean ever thought about what John had to do to survive for 100 years? Not before, certainly, but now? Now that he understands what really happened to his father? Would he hate his father for it, as he hates himself right now? Would he rather have been turned, become truly unfeeling as a Demon? I think not, despite the pain he lives with now. I hope he can finally learn, in time, to accept that he is just a man. A strong, good man. If he can't, I don't think he'll be ready to save his brother when Sam really needs him, at the end. And that is what he was born to do.