My absolute favorite SN story! I love John, and what he did for his family is beyond heroic. But when he died for Dean, realizing that this would also save Sam...I cried. My heart was broken for all of them. One of the best understandings of John's heart and soul. Mary must have been one hell of a woman! Thank You, thank you, thank you.

Author's Response:

From one die hard John girl to another, thank you for such a lovely review. I too, believe that John's final act was the epitomy of his love for his boys and his faith and belief that Dean would save Sam.

Your words that my fic is a fav of yours and one of the best understandings of John is a huge compliment, so thanks heaps. I am basking in the warmth of your sparkly stars.

And just to brag, I find this awesome review of yours on the same day I find that this fic won two Sensue awards!!! What a day!!

Very cute. Sam wasn't very bright this time, he should have talked out their approach with Dean BEFORE he insulted the woman. By then, there was no way she wasn't going to zap him with something. Lucky it was fairly benign. (What is it with everyone turning Dean into rabbits or cats? He doesn't seem like a cat person to me, much more a dog person. I can see him as a cute but smart mutt like Benji or something similar.)

Hi again. I guess I really like your stuff, I've spent all tonight reading it. I never review anything before it is complete, so you get just the one for this. Not sure if you got John just right here, although it is like John to just give up at the end. He's been hurt so much he hasn't much hope left, I'm afraid. But Sam and Dean are too tightly bonded to be fooled, or to give up on each other. At this point in their lives even they haven't really figured out just how bonded they are. If you haven't done so, you might like to read some pre-colombian New World mythology. Here the "hero" was almost always two boys, twins or brothers, who complemented each other exactly. One was always a warrior, and one a seer or shaman. I see that all through Kripke's stories of the Winchesters.
P.S. HEAR(pg21) should be here. Another of the frequently mixed up homonyms I see every day. Like PASSED/PAST or LOOSE/LOSE or BEAR/BARE or THEN/THAN, the writer really needs to pay attention, because Spellcheck won't save you. Since I don't use my Email or chat with most of the other writers, maybe you can help me spread the word. A lot of good ideas are missed because it's too painful to read with so many grammatic or syntactical errors. (Not that you need to worry, you write very clearly and well, baring the occasional homonym.) Keep writing about season 4, you seem to have a good grasp of our boys.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the corrections! I'll go fix them soon! In the meantime, I'm so glad you've like it!

~A

I love anything with John. That Demon had no idea he was creating his destroyer that night in Lawrence. This had never occured to me, but of course John tried to save Sam and Jess. Well done!

P.S. Another nit to pick. The majority of writers in supernatural fanfic can't seem to handle the meanings of THEIR, THERE, and THEY'RE. Notice your plot blurb at the beginning. These words are not interchangeable, and spellcheck won't save you from using the wrong one! This isnot a typo. Please, pay more attention to what you mean to say. Sorry again, my pet peeve gets fiesty sometimes.

Nothing more to say. This has always been Dean,s truth.

Author's Response:

Yeah, I kinda thought that too, and since Dean has always been a "no-chick-flick moments" kinda guy, I was thinking he'd never say any of this while he was alive. A letter after his death seemed the right way to get these feelings across.

Glad you liked it!

WOW! I just discovered this story last P.M. and had to finish it before I could go to sleep! I loved it. I especially love that you incorporate real mythologies and don't make up "evil" things for our boys to fight, nor dumb down the complexities and contradictions found in all real belief systems. When Dean and Nick made their promises to kill each other it was chilling, but absolutely true to men of their character. And finally, Sam wasn't "limp", but as focused and in control as his heart and intellect would make him in a real crisis. I've read far too many fics where one of the brothers just loses control when the other is hurt, even attacking their father for being calm enough to save the situation first, and fall apart later. Most often this is Sam, and I've always felt it did him a disservice. Of course, he does feel things more openly than his family, but he couldn't have lived his life and panic as easily as he is often portrayed. Thank you.
That said, I find it a little strange that neither Sam nor Randy made the obvious connection between piles of sacrificed men with their hearts cut out and fragments of jade bowls, and meso-american religious rites. Clearly, it wouldn't have told them if they were dealing with a god, a demon, or just a nutjob group of cultists until someone saw the rites themselves (as Sam did, in the end), but at least they would have been looking in the right direction. It was certainly obvious to me. But I can let that go and put it down to stress. (One point- the use of sharp spines through the tongue for ritual bloodletting was very important, but it was done by the King and his family and nobles, not by the prisoners who were to be sacrificed, a minor quibble.)
In the end, your use of the old "Xray" style carvings and paintings (which always have been interpreted as priests wearing flayed skins! Great!) and recasting them to depict the god "wearing" his host was brilliant! (Too many exclamation points?) I suspect that point just blew by most of your readers, but as a student of history and comparative religion it made my night! Thank you, thank you for such a literate and deeply moving story. But couldn't you have added a codacil about the human villians in this tale? I mean, what led these people to start worshipping the old Toltec gods? Why there? Who knew enough to start the cult and how did he convince so many acolytes and initiates to join him in trying to resurrect and empower an ancient god? They were committing mass murder and wholesale torture, what did they hope to gain? And all the neighbors with the perfect tomatoes- were they a part of it? Was fertility one of the benefits they sought? Were they found and arrested in the end? This whole thing hinged on human evil, not supernatural. The Flayed God was only doing what he was meant to do. I think I would also have liked it mentioned that these cultists were not exactly following the old ways; after all most sacrificed prisoners were well treated as honored emmisaries to the gods before their deaths, and went quietly if not always willingly. They did the same to their own prisoners of war. The gods had to be fed if the world was not to end. Naturally, modern men would not have appreciated the "honor" they were being given.
Finally, I would have liked a little more detail how the task force was dealing with the bodies of all those missing people. Did they take prints and DNA for I.D.'s and at least notify their families? I would hope they had sense enough to cremate them before their loved ones could see them. And the "hosts" who died in the clinic? Clearly their families had not been notified they had been found before their deaths. Were they after? As you see, I am a detail fan. I like my stories as firmly grounded in reality as possible. Without that, S.F. and horror fantasy has no power to move or teach or thrill. And you did thrill me. Thank you again. (Add a few of these details and this becomes a ten!)

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! Sorry my reply has taken awhile, things have been odd my way!

Why didnt Sam and Randy make the, at least to us, obvious connection? First, there was only a fragment of the bowls before that final find at the shack, and there were other cultures and creatures that removed hearts. And I appreciate your pointing out the sharp spines and the bloodletting rites. (It was also the Maya, and not Aztecs that mostly practiced that form of bloodletting) but new finds within the Meso-American world, have lead to other discoveries and there is some evidence that commoners, primarily priests, did engage in this kind of sacrifice.

And also your point about the "mistreatment" of the prisoners. That all the sacrifices within Aztec, Totlec and Mayan culture were well treated or at least went quietly to sacrifice(even by our standards) is something of a myth. I have based much of my torture and ritual within the acutal archaeological record and have tried to stay true to the most recent research while at the same time blending ritual. The whole question of meso-American culture is so interesting and when I worked, briefly, on digs dealing with these cultures it was an eye opener. We have establisehd something of a "noble savage" attitude about the Aztecs and Mayans. partially tied up within a European guilt complex. I remember when I first started working on my archy degree there was still the question of ANY blood sacrifice within Mayan cultures, and they were still viewed as peace loving people--of course recent discoveries have set that to rest--war was quite common.

I love detail as well and your comments about grounding a story in reality are good! Sometimes, when dealing with a story like this, a writer must decide between details, and while some of the details you mentioned are interesting, they would pull the focus from Sam and Dean. I did think long and hard before I wrapped up those chapters! Thank you again and I hope you wil continue to read!

Hugs, Muffy 

Nice. It hadn't occured to me that Sam had not graduated undergrad yet when he was setting up his law school interview, but it's obvious in retrospect. Maybe he can finish his last few credits online, someday. Stanford would understand why he left, after Jessica. I think it would mean a lot to him. Dean really was the glue holding his family together, wasn't he? Hope he remembers how proud his Dad was of him, too.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I hadn't really thought about it, either, then it struck me. And Sam would have it there, in his head, and what it would have meant! I'm sure Stanford would understand why he left! It would be nice to see him have the opportunity to return if he wanted too! And as always Dean was the glue.

Hugs, Muffy

Hi. I haven't read your stuff before, but I wanted to compliment you on writing clear and well constructed prose. It is refreshing in an age of spellcheck and E mail to read something written by a person who can express themselves well and using the correct lexicon. Thank you. I also want to thank you for this story specifically. All through this episode it struck me as unrealistic that a beautiful boy like Sam would not be immediately claimed by one of the dominant males in the prison society, especially when his protector kept getting himself sent to solitary. Dean and Deacon should have known better than to bring him into that in the first place. This is actually much more likely to have been what really happened. A sad commentary on prison culture and the depths of human nature under duress. But a good example of Sam's courage and the strength of his brother. There are good men even in the worst places and situations. Well done.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a thorough and ... well....ego boosting review. :D. I'm very glad you liked the story. :). Awesome. 

Well done. This is just how Sam would undestand and support Dean, even as he blames himself for putting Dean in that position. Even as he hates what Dean did and is angry with him. At this point I don't think either brother has really come yet to understand how truly interdependent they are. I didn't even need to pick nits about spelling or grammar! Wow.

Very nice. Storytelling style is very different, but I like the outside look at our heroes sometimes. And this was an interesting , tragic little ghost tale that worked beautifully. I'll be watching for more from you.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!  I am so glad you liked it! 

Sweet. And welcome. Year four is really depressing, and while I prefer dark stories, I like to be reminded what makes life worth living for our boys, as well. They really have been handed the 'dead man's hand',haven't they? I know Sam really doesn't do 'casual' sex comfortably, that's absolutely in character for him. But this felt right, and something he needed. Thanks. Especially since she was not the kind of girl Dean picks up in bars. (Not that there is anything wrong with that. It would just be too out of character for him, and would leave him feeling guilty.) We all know Dean is too much the gentleman to take advantage of a woman who didn't want to be taken advantage of, but Sam doesn't have his ability to separate sex from caring. Sorry it took me so long to find this story.

Author's Response:

Thanks for that, Rahne. Yes, season 4 is frightnening in its intensity - things don't look good for the boys. I feel that Sam is being slowly backed into a corner with the use of his powers, and I don't think Ruby has his best interests at heart as she pretends. And Dean has come back still bearing heavy scars from his torture in Hell - sort of like a Vietnam veteran, for want of a better analogy.

And I agree - Sam has to care about someone first. It's not about the release of tension, or gratification. It's a sharing.

So happy that you liked this. And yep, I needed a break from the angst as well. Thank so much for reading.....Jules

Never thought of it this way. Like Sam, I thought Cass hesitated because he didn't want to touch someone bearing demon blood. Uriel certainly feels that way. He despises Ruby, even though he knows she is trying to help. (Not quite the same, I know, but still...) I guess I should have known that the "doubter" would be more "humane". I'm afraid I don't believe that Cass sought and recieved permission from God, however. Not the Old Testament god Kripke seems to be referencing in season 4. But maybe I'm underestimating Kripke, and he'll surprise me. After all, his version of god didn't kill Anna in her human persona, even though I find it hard to believe He couldn't find her. As Dean said, just because His Believers are dicks, doesn't mean He has to be. And it's pretty clear that Kripke (like me) believes the ideal state for conscious beings is Human, for all our flaws and weaknesses. Good fic, made me think. Thanks.

Author's Response:

Glad I made you think! As for the permission think, why wouldn't someone faced with a concern (especially an angel) ask God for help? God is very watchful, and he gives us information as we need it (even to angels).

Thanks for the review!

~A