Where do I begin? I am still fairly new to the supernatural fanfic universe, never having realized it was out there. (Since I have been reading LOTR stories for years, I should have known better, but it had not occured to me.) This was one of the first stories I found when I looked up fanfic, and I was astounded. I couldn't stop reading. I would have left you a review then, but the site features at fanfic.net don't work on my MAC, and I can't pull up the review space. Last night I reread Shadowstalker, and now that I have found this site, and after reading over a hundred different pieces, I want to tell you what a fabulous story this is. I happen to truly love John Winchester, and it's hard to find good stories of his hunts with his boys. (God, I wish he hadn't died so soon, but Kripke was right, it was almost inevitable given his character and his love for his boys.) You not only captured the true essences of Sam and Dean, but you got John as well as anyone I've met or read. Trust me, that wasn't easy. I love this piece, truly my favorite hunt story. ( I have to admit, I'm a sucker for the short pure angst pieces, especially Let No Man Put Asunder, and other John stories.)
I don't review, or even read pieces before they are complete, so I want to make all my comments at the end, here. Wow. The idea that John has always kept an eye on the boys was implied in the series, but never stated, and it's so obvious he would have. Even Sam understood here, that it was out of love. Since Stanford, Sam has had to reevaluate a lot of his assumptions regarding his father. How many boys reach the same realizations after growing up and walking in a man's shoes for awhile? That John would know where to look, that he understood his sons so well and looked at the facts unflinching, this is who he is, and why he is so feared. How many people in this world see only what they want to see, and refuse to face what they can't accept or don't want to know. Even the boys, true hunters that they are, find it hard sometimes to see the situation clearly and dispassionately, and act. When their brother is involved, they freeze, or hesitate, the need to be there so overwhelming they can't think. But even when John made the emotional choice to go to Sam at the end, it was because he trusted Dean to do the job, to bless the last river. Only knowing that, was he free to follow his heart. A hard thing, but it's the only reason he and his boys survived all those years. Hell, if John had not had that strength, he would have let himself die in the fire with Mary. It was his duty to his boys that let him leave her and go out to save them. (I think I identify with John more than most, because I worked 23 years as an E.R. physician, and was sometimes looked at askance for my ability to make life and death decisions in a crisis. Just because we don't become overwhelmed by tragedy, doesn't mean we don't feel it just as deeply.)
And Dean. How much he hates being helpless. His whole self image is his ability to fight, to protect, to hold his family together whatever the cost. He doesn't see the emotional and spiritual strength inside him, but his brother can. As the Shadow did. I loved how you brought that out without being sappy or indulging in one of Dean's dreaded chick flick moments.(Not that I feel the same, I'm much more like Sam in that regard.) Dean as one of the strongest souls the Asura has ever sensed? Sam as pure power and light? How incredibly perfect! I keep going back to that scene, I can't help it. I love it. And I love that the Demon fears John more than either of them, even if his soul is less 'palatable'. That Joshua is more afraid of John than the Shadow. (That the YED wanted John dead even more than he wanted the Colt that he needed to open the gate.) Yet Joshua had a valid point, and you didn't gloss over it. How many generations of hunters had lived and never tried tangling with a Demon? Even for those who had, it was never more than the occasional exorcism of some low level possession. Why do you think the owners of the Colt had never used it, never even hinted that they had it? 'Meg' said it; when John hunted the YED, when he took possession of the Colt, he declared war. And there will be casualties, civilian and hunter. John's obssession may have kept him from seeing it sooner, but I don't think that would have stopped him. (And maybe, unknowingly, he was right. Year 4 is revealing that that bastard had more than mindless demon terror and destruction in mind all along.) John's anger at Joshua at the end was not for his legitimate fear for his family and the others, it was for his cowardice in going after John's boys, his betrayal of humans to a supernatural force. In his enmity for all that threatened his sons, he was and always would be, implacable. I have to say, I would have done the same. But it's nice to know there are still gentle hearts like Sam, who would have spared him. The nurturers need us to protect them, sometimes. But we need them, too. To keep us human.
Well, this is getting longer than your chapters! Just thank you again for making us think, and feel. Maybe Sam's 'powers' aren't as demonic as the series has been hinting. After all, Power just is. There is nothing inherently good or evil in it. That is defined by how one uses it. (An ancient philosophical truth I wish more fundamental religious folks could grasp. (Good, 'God-fearing' people have done more evil than all the bad guys put together, in my opinion.) We will see. Just one last thing. There are far too many missed commas, incomplete or run on sentences, and wrong words for my tastes, even if the depth of the prose is enough to let me ignore most of them. Homonyms such as 'bare/ bear,' 'they're/their/there,' 'site/sight,' 'hear/here,' etc., do not get caught by spell check! I find this is a common problem for every writer less than forty or fift years old. Even my newspaper is full of them. Please, be more careful, and THINK what exactly you mean to say. Thanks for listening. And, wow. There are more stories in the Shadowslayer series! Never thought to look. I'll be reading.


Author's Response:

wow, what a great review, thank you so much. Stalker was my first story and was written a few years ago and there was a lot of things I didn't know about punctuation, spelling, and word choice. Because of a strange series of events throughout grade school I actually managed to make it through school without a formal english class :| 

Between dyslexia and a strangely high IQ test I was in both remedial english and advanced classes at the same time, and somehow missed the whole 'learn to write' part of things.

And I have to say, all the help I've been given online has been amazing. So thank you for the critiques. Someday I'll have time to go back through and edit my past work, but at the moment, I need to quell an uprising at work. haha

Thank you once again :). I'm glad you enjoyed the story.  

Okay. You went from the sublime (Shadowstalker- my absolute favorite hunt story), to the ridiculous. I tolerated the Heehounds guys in the series episode Ghostfacers, because they were really trying to hunt by themselves, and were not malicious, but I can't stand this idea that they would create monsters just to film our boys. Would they really be that malicious, to try and get other people killed just for money and ratings? Or alternately, so stupid that they wouldn't understand what 'outing' the hunters would do to them? I'm sorry, I can't buy it. And I certainly can't buy that John or some other hunter didn't take them out for it. Even Sam and Dean would have been harder on them than this. People died! And then there is the idea of the Sam tulpa. Come on! Dean would never have been that stupid. It strains all credulity, and it's just plain silly! I'm going to have to pretend the few important story moments happened 'off camera' as it were, and just tie the first story to the third. Sorry, nothing here rang true.
P.S. Better on the syntax, and fewer typos, good. But you still don't know the difference between 'then' and 'than', and you don't seem to know that 'vein'(a blood vessel) is not the word to use for 'taking something in vAin', or 'trying in vAin'. Since you do it all the time, no one ever taught you the other spelling, so it's not your fault. But your betas are falling down on their job! (Oh, be careful of using 'sight' for 'site', as well. )
Sorry again, I don't usually leave negative reviews, but I normally like your stuff so much I felt obligated.

Author's Response: it's a shame you didnt like this one, it's my favorite of the series :)

Hadn't run across this little tag before, not sure why. As always, you really nailed Sam, and I was pleased with Dean having the strength to really listen this time, and give him the respect of an equal in his promise. A lot of people miss that Sam's ability to trust and reveal his heart is a strength, not a weakness. And that Sam is almost the only one who can get Dean to recognize that strength in himself. Loved it, as always. Thanks.

I am very impressed by all your writing, but I must confess, I prefer fics without ongoing outside characters. Sam, Dean, and John are such rich and powerful characters that the rest are almost extraneous. Thanks also for having good grammer and spelling! I'm new to this site, but so few people today are capable of writing complete sentences, let alone having correct punctuation. I was beginning to despair. (Sorry for the side ramble!) Really liked this one, good feel for the boys.

Author's Response:

Hi rahne,

Thanks so much for your feedback and your honesty. I agree completely -- Sam and Dean are obviously compelling characters that keep people coming back time and again. That's why I try to balance my stories between what I call "brother only" and those that have other characters.

However, sometimes I like to see how those other characters affect the brothers -- and alter the environment to survive.

But that's the beauty of fanfiction -- there is enough "stuff" out there that there's something to appeal to everyone. :)

Thanks again for reading and I appreciate you recognizing the time and care I take when posting stories.

Best to you,

Gaelic

Fantastic! This is my favorite short story! How wise Dean was as a boy, and how smart and special young Sam. And John, however obssessed and oblivious to the normal world he could be, still loved his boys with all his heart. Sometimes he just needed a little reminder. Wonderful!
P.S. One of your perennial misspellings- shining ( as a light shines) is spelled with one "N", not two. Thanks for such an enjoyable Winchester moment..

I love the openness of small children, and the absolute trust Sammy has always had in his brother. Can't ever get enough of these little ficlets. And you captured Dean's dignity well. Thanks.

Much better than the last two. Moving the story forward again. Not sure I'm willing to buy that Dean can suddenly astral projec just because he is now bound with Sam, but with Sam's incredible power boost, it's not impossible, I suppose. That Sam would drive John away is a good read of the situation-Sam has never tolerated his father's awkwardness at emotional bonding, and Dean seems especially fragile right now. But Sam has always had trouble with John's ability to compartmentalize, and function as hunter and protector even in an emotional crisis. I don't think of that as a weakness in John; it has kept them all alive more than once, and I think Sam acknowledges that when he is thinking straight. Dean has, in the past, but even he loses his head to his heart sometimes, when it comes to his brother. And with his disability, he would be especially vulnerable to his usual self doubt about his worth. I hope he gets out of this slump soon. He really is the glue that holds the family together.
P.S. You are still having problems with the same few words in context. Most of your 'thens' should be 'thans', you're and your are not interchangeable, and objects are laid on a surface, while people lie down , lay on the floor, or were lain down. You never use laid for living things. Sorry, I'm a nit picker when it comes to spelling and sntax. I promise not to complain about obvious typos. Thanks for the good read.

The ideas are good, but I'm afraid your sentences lack any structure or cohesion, and your punctuation needs a great deal of work. Just reading several well written books over the next few years will get you going in the right direction. You might consider a creative writing or journalism class. You want to be able to communicate your ideas well, since they are worth hearing.

Wonderful. I like that it's Sam who is the most realistic brother for this moment, and his understanding of his brother's needs and fears. It has been one of the great tragedies of his life that he and John were so much alike neither could give in to the other, even when they knew how much love lay between them. And it was one of the great sorrows of Dean's life that he was strong enough to bend for both so often, he started to mistake his strength for weakness. John never could bend, and in the end, it broke his family apart. But nothing can lessen the worth of his sacrifice in this scene. He died for his sons. He never aspired to more. Loved it.

Wow! Just read the whole piece in one sitting. This is definitely your best. Not even many nits to pick (then and than are not interchangeable, and lien is the word you wanted, not lean). just trying to get my thoughts in some kind of order.
I can tell you really love these boys, but no question Dean is your real hero. Thank you for the insightful understanding of what makes him who and what he is. You help me put into words and actions my own beliefs about courage and "moral values", which have little to do with the rigid and anti- human rules and morality of the so called religious right. I'm afraid that many would read this and not see why the avenging angel was the villian of the piece!
I also love the truth behind Dean's absolute faith and belief in Sam, rather than in some culturally determined concept of "GOD". In his lectures Joseph Campbell often spoke of a Hindu friend who taught people to worship and believe in whatever they felt they could love most in their lives, and they would be able to touch the same transcendence that others called God. It is the selflessness of the love that opens the heart, not it's object.
What I most want to praise, however, is the way this story has helped me to clarify and organize my objections to the standard Sunday school idea of God and angels versus "The Devil" and demons. I have never understood how and why people cast the monotheist god as all good, all knowing, and all powerful, as well as providential. If you make that assumption, then you believe that God caused 150,000 innocent people to die in the Indian Ocean tsunamis, or at least allowed it purposefully. Why? Because He has mysterious ways? Because they weren't Christians and are doomed to Hell anyway? Or, what about the "righteous" who believe it their duty to kill the "heathen" and the unbelievers because God wouldn't ask anything that wasn't good and proper. How can anyone worship a "god" like that? To do so you must ignore your own innate moral sense, and obey out of fear, not love. (Of course, if we are all inherently fallen, we don't have a moral sense, according to this school of thought. Only revelation tells us right from wrong, and stoning sinners is our duty. Sigh
.) What makes us uniquely human is our ability to encompass both light and darkness, and see them as simply opposites, not intrinsically good or evil. Ethics, as the pagans knew, are a purely human concern. Power is neither all good or all evil. It simply is.
Is there a sacred, life affirming dimension to the universe? Yes. Can we tap into it on occasion? Maybe even make a "miracle?" Yes. Is the "god" of the Bible or the Koran, the creator of that universe? The petty, jealous little tyrant of the literalists? NO! And the idea of every little moment of every life being micro-managed by some all powerful being as part of the Master plan? How sick is that? If true, I'd be leading the resistance! Nature works on the level of species and eco-systems, not individuals. To expect the universe to tell you what to do, to protect you from every chance, to "save" you in return for the right behavior and sacrifices, is the thinking of a child, not a morally responsible adult. (I love how we have to be "saved" by the same religions that created the "fall" in the first place.) Sorry, this is getting to be as long as one of your chapters!
Once again, thank you for reaffirming my faith in a more enlightened definition of good and evil, courage and sacrifice, love and honor. That these characters embody that in all their human frailty is why I love them, and the Supernatural family. Keep writing, and I'll keep reading.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking time to read and offer us a review. It's flattering that you feel this is one of the best in the collection of stories I've posted her -- especially because I had the opportunity to write this with a good friend of mine, Sojourner84. We split each chapter into sections, so you see a bit of both of us throughout the whole story.

I don't know if kripke did have the whole season mapped out or not, but I do think he knows Sam and Dean so well that he and the writers are always in character, because I've never seen a series so consistently get it right. Even John was always true to himself in every appearance. And have you noticed that most of the fic is also right on? That is what happens when characters are so completely fleshed out and so psychologically true. It also helps that such characters tend to attract a higher caliber of reader/watcher, a little older and more concerned with well drawn personalities than crazy action scenes. (Not that we don't like these, also.) My favorite stories explore the hearts and minds of our boys in this kind of depth, so thank you. Wish I had found your work sooner. Keep writing.

Sweet and sad. I did cry, as I always do when helpless things are hurt. The story , I liked a lot. The incomplete sentences, missing commas, and tense changes within single paragraphs, I did not. Just be a little more careful with your proofreading. I find speaking the sentences aloud to be helpful in catching these things. Keep writing!

Author's Response: This was my first fanfic. I've come a long way since this. 

Love it when world mythologies are used. Never liked critters that are made up whole cloth by the writer. Even the supernatural has its own rules and laws of physics. Thanks for such a good story. (Sam in jeopardy stories are my favorites, too, of course! A two for one!) Thanks.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much! I try and pull from mythology and lore as a basis for all my stories. I think it gives a more solid feeling to the story! I'm glad you enjoyed this one, I have to admit, it's one of my favorites!

hugs, Muffy