Okay, so see, now THIS is why I only read completed stuff. Cuz this chapter would've killed me. ;)

Very nice bit of prescience on your part with Ruby wanting to be the one to release Lucifer.

This was just heartbreaking: "I trusted you," he whispered raggedly. "I gave up everything - everything - my brother - my life - my humanity..." All for nothing, his mind screamed at him. He couldn't comprehend how he could have been so stupid, so blind. Dean had been right all along, but he hadn't wanted to listen, hadn't wanted to believe that he'd been wrong. Oh, God - Dean - what have I done...."

I gotta say--I thought Ruby died too quickly on the show. After all the buildup of the last two years, and especially this year when we've been waiting and waiting for her to get what's coming with her--to have it end so quickly was almost anticlimatic. I like that you didn't make that mistake. It was a very satisfying end for her here. It would've been better if Dean had been there to see it, but still...I really liked your solution.

And this: "A warm presence materialised by his side. Sam looked up, his eyes widening in wonder. He was lying in his nursery, his mother's smiling face hovering over him, the soft yellow glow of the half moon lamp on the wall picking out the golden highlights in her long blonde hair. Mary Winchester bent down, brushed the sweat-soaked bangs off her youngest son's forehead and placed a tender kiss just above his right eyebrow. "Goodnight, love," he heard her whisper softly. She threw a brief glance over Sam's head, and he knew without a doubt that if he had the strength to move, he would see his dad standing in the doorway. Closing his eyes, Sam felt his mother's gentle fingers stroking his hair. "Mmo...." "Shh, love. Rest now." Sam sighed, his body going limp as he succumbed to the darkness that called to him in his mother's soft, loving voice. " Wow. So heart-wrenching.

I liked that the angels bowed their heads in respect as Dean carried his brother by, and I actually liked Michael, too. Most of all, I LOVED that God answered Sam's final last prayer for help to close the seal.

Heartbreaking, but very well-written.

The "weapons of mass seduction" line made me smile. Glad Grace was there to help them out, and I'm glad Sam's doing so much better.

I can't believe he just took off on Dean, though! I hope he can find him quickly, or Sam changes his mind and comes back. I can see him being worried about telling Dean everything, but he didn't even give Dean a chance to react one way or another, and he said himself Dean hasn't been anything but caring and supportive since the final battle. Oh, Sam. *shakes head*

Two years?! TWO YEARS?! That just breaks my heart.

I like Whitesnake, and despite appearances to the contrary, I just know that Sam is Phoenix somehow.

Glad Dean's found Sam now, but yeah...it's not gonna be pretty. He's gonna be ticked. And I would be, too.

I felt so bad for Dean, trying to get in to see Sam, and not being allowed. And naturally, he feels guilty even though Sam goaded him into the fight. And poor Sam--cancer? Wow. That's terrible. And to got through it alone...

I know Dean didn't appreciate it, but I liked that Sam was still looking out for him, reminded Alvin to wish him a happy birthday, bought the books. It was really sweet and, with the photo on his nightstand, speaks a lot of the love he still has for his brother.

This broke my heart: "But - maybe one day, Dean will forgive me enough to remember the brother I used to be, not the freak that I became. Maybe that's why I wrote the letter. I think it is."

See--told ya Sam was behind Phoenix! :)

Love the ending there, Sam turning into Dean's hand unconsciously.

Forgot to say--in the previous chapter, loved the stuff about the straws and Sam's hair, Dean hoping he didn't lose it.

Glad Blake relented. Sam's letter to Dean was really poignant and sad. I really hope they can fix things (here and on the show) soon.

A lovely chapter. Especially this: ""I'd lay my head on Mom's belly and talk to you about what we were gonna do that day, tell you stories that Mom had taught to me. I'd even tell Mom what you were sayin' back to me. And the first time I saw you, after you were born, you just looked up at me with those big trusting eyes and wrapped your little hand around my finger, like you knew my voice already - like you knew I was your big brother...Every night, I'd come into your nursery with Mom and kiss you goodnight, did you know that? I couldn't wait for you to get bigger so we could play ball and do all kinds of stuff together." Dean swallowed painfully. "When Mom was killed - everything was so screwed up. Dad was just a wreck. And I missed her so much. But there was one good thing in all that darkness - I still had you. And you - you needed me. You were so small - so helpless. I promised myself that I'd never let anything happen to you. I wouldn't let anything get you like it got Mom. It was like you became my kid, you know? When Dad put you in my arms the night of the fire, it was like he gave you to me...That's why it hurt so much when you left for Stanford."

"I wasn't leaving you," Sam whispered, forcing the words past the huge lump growing in his throat.

"Sure felt like it to me. You wanted out - you wanted normal. Hunting wasn't good enough. It felt like we weren't good enough - like I wasn't good enough...I made that deal - I had to. Not because I couldn't stand being alone. Because I couldn't do this gig without you. You called me selfish, and maybe I was, but I couldn't just let you die. Not my kid."" Awww... *sniffle* I LOVED how you used my Dean talking to unborn Sam thing from "Thanksgiving" and Dean calling Sam his kid was just perfect. This section brought me to tears.

Sam confessing his fear that Dean couldn't love him after all he'd done was heartbreaking. I loved the boys crying together, Dean commenting that their dad probably wondered how he'd ended up with daughters, and Dean telling Sam a story to get him back to sleep.

A lovely, healing chapter. Nicely done. Touching, emotional, chick-flicky, but completely in character. Excellent job!

"And Sam - Sam had marched willingly right down that same road he'd promised Dean that he wouldn't go down. Had taken his brother's dying wish and trampled it into the dust." Yeah, I can definitely see why Dean would be ticked off. I was fairly mad at Sam myself part of last season.

"You called for God." Michael spread his hands from his sides. "He sent me to answer." I LOVE the way you're portraying God here--as He truly is, loving and concerned with his creation, and not turning anyone away, even someone's who's "tainted" or done unspeakable things. I haven't really appreciated EK's portrayal of God, the Bible, angels, Heaven, etc.--all things very dear to my heart, and which he's managed to make look pretty bad, overall. I'm glad you're trying to bring some redemption and faith back into the boys' lives.

""He lost his moral compass...You, Dean. He lost you." The Archangel clasped his hands loosely across his knees. "You - both of you - are each other's moral compass - each other's conscience, if you will. With you gone, Samuel lost his true north. In his desperation to get you back, he fell prey to the likes of Ruby."" Love that description of the boys' relationship.

"For all we know, Samuel's death was possibly orchestrated to force you into making the deal, thereby leaving him alone, vulnerable and ripe for manipulation a year later when you were dragged to Hell. The enemy would have known the only way to get to Samuel was to take you out - whether by killing you, or by driving a wedge between you." VERY intriguing and plausible idea. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out it's true.

"I died for him, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I love him like he was my own kid." LOVED that.

""He wants you to remember what your name means. And he asks that you begin praying again. It's time to restore your faith." ...there was an Archangel standing in his living room, apparently not to strike him down, but to deliver a message from God. The God whom he thought had long since given up on ‘the boy with the demon blood'. "Samuel? Will you do that for Him?" God wants me to pray? Me? After what I did - what I turned into? Was He listening all that time, and I just didn't hear Him?"" Like I said above, I love what you're doing here. No one is too far gone for God to reach out to them and want them to pray. Love that you tied in the meaning to Sam's name.

"It was too small for human technology, no matter how advanced, to detect. But not too small for God to see." Michael knelt at Sam's other side, reaching out to press the back of his hand against the younger hunter's cheek. "He's free of it now." I loved that Michael healed Sam. And the image of him cradling Sam in his arms was SO sweet. As was the image of Dean completely freaking out and rocking Sam when he'd collapsed.

"Sam reached up one shaking hand to grasp the lapels of the familiar garment, breathing in the combined scents of his brother and his father. Those smells had always been associated with comfort and protection, and he closed his eyes as the memories flooded his mind. A warm presence settled beside him, wrapping one arm around his back before pulling him close. He sighed raggedly, leaning into the touch that he had needed for so long. " Awww, loved Dean giving Sam the jacket to wear, loved Sam getting comfort from the scents and touch.

I wasn't expecting Sam to get pulled into an alley--a total surprise. Glad it was just Bill and that he was trying to look out for Dean. Whatever he's up to, I have to believe it's something that will help the boys, whether they want it or not.

Congrats on  your nomination in the UnGen awards!

This was really cute. Loved Sam's description of what a big brother does: "A big brother, Dad. I've always wanted a big brother, who would tell me what to do, call me names, steal my birthday money...but most of all, a big brother who would totally sell his soul for me." LOL

This cracked me up: "my one-emo-tear-of-doom cry". *snort*

And this was hilarious, too: "throwing out a protective and heroic arm across his stray fangirls, one of whom fainted at the sight of his biceps."   

Cute and funny fic. It had been rec'd to me before, but I'm just now getting the chance to read it. Glad I did. :)

Awww...I'm glad you wrapped this up. Love the image of a scared Dean doing what needs to be done anyway, and of John hovering nearby to make sure it goes well. Glad John praised him at the end.

Author's Response: Yes- John may not have been the best father in the world, but he did seem quite protective of his sons -- I really appreciate the review!

I'm so glad you posted this here, Ness. It's a wonderful start!! I can't wait to read the rest!


Author's Response:

If you're happy, I'm happy.  :-)

Very thought-provoking. I especially liked this: "Mom died, but I see her every day. She’s in Dean whenever he smiles." *sniffle*

Author's Response: Aww... don't be sad, but I'm very glad you liked it :)

Awww, that's so sad. Poor Sammy. This just broke my heart for him. Glad he gave the card to Dean, though, he would've appreciated the hard work involved.

Author's Response: thank you so much for reading. i've read some of your stuff and really enjoyed it, so it means a lot for you to leave a review. thanks!!

I LOVED this. SOOO sweet. And it looks like you and I were among the few who did happy-ish drabbles for the holiday. *high five*

I especially liked this: "These were the little moments that kept him fighting. To John, family was his everything." Awww...sweet.

Like you, I try to portray John as a loving father. He wasn't perfect, by any means, but I do think he loved his boys and tried to do his best by them. Loved your portrayal of him here.

Great, great job!