Helen. Sorry, didn't have any time lately. Some bad stuff happened and had to be taken care of. Not done with that but sorted and almost done...

Hope my review will be nearly as entertaining as usual. And I just noticed, that you posted a new chapter... so gotta keep reading to get there, huh?

...he doesn’t just have a bug up his ass, he’s got the whole damn ant farm.... the mother of all hissy fits .... Bobby is clearly seething. And I like his description of Dean's behaviour. LOL

....it breaks my heart to hear him talk about himself like that... like his life means nothing.... if I don’t, it may drive me crazy wondering if he truly feels that way... Owh, yeah I felt exactly the same way. And still need Dean to be that way, 'cause that's how he is. But he could be a bit more self-caring sometimes. He is such a good person, only rough on the outside to protect his inner sensitivity...

....I need my brother back, and I need him whole again.... MEEEEE TOOOO. Thinking about Dean in hell now, not only in your story. Almost tearing me apart. Have to remind myself they aren't real. That's the most difficult part of it all, 'cos both actors are so terrific. And I have to stay sane for the next days...

...irritability bordering on psychotic.... Love that line... hilarious. Have a friend who once described himself as vegetarian bordering on vegan and it became a running gag.... this reminds me of it. OK, random and a bit weird, I know... in a rambling mood...

...he wanted to start pounding on the door... Oh, yeah. Can clearly picture him standing there fist held in mid air and hoisting up the thinking-face, such a controlled person. I would have knocked down the door and then might have remembered to check if it was really closed. Am very spontaneous and hot-blooded... sometimes a bit panicky....

...he did finally find some clarity... FINALLY. Damned right and about time.

...You, Dean, are all he has left... your brother needs you more than you think you need him... awh. Sobbing madly. And such a wonderful heartbreaking reference to YED saying the complete opposite. The number of times I've wanted to shout out and tell him that same thing. Glad you let him hear it from someone eventually.

....“Sam…I think we need to talk.”... What a rare and touching moment. Dean must be in a very weak and angsty mood to actually say that. Like on Long Distance Call. Sobbed and laughed through the chick-flick/banter conversation there. I am so glad you saved Dean from his suicidal intentions. That would have been unbearable even if he hadn't died. Side effects are a pain in the ass, if you ask me.

OK. That worked out kinda well. Will try and R & R some more on the next chapter. Catch ya there. Ilka

Getting closer to the new chapter bit by bit... This one was sweet. I liked that you had Bobby have a parental conversation with insubordinate Dean. Made me feel for Bobby as much as for Sam earlier. Those two men really love Dean, don't they?

...I think you better push me Sammy. I don‘t think I can do it myself.... How weak and to admit it... poor, shaking, lost Dean.

....like a guilt-ridden child that knew he’d been caught red handed with not just one but both hands in the cookie jar after being specifically told ‘NO‘....love this. Nice description. Dean sometimes really reacts like a child, doesn't he? Maybe because he was barred from a normal childhood... Hasn't grown up like normal men. But then again, men stay boys inside for their whole life. So ...

.....quickly concealed it back under the blanket in his lap in an effort to hide his unsteadiness .... He is scared and embarrassed at the same time. Has to freak him out big time.

....something akin to parental fury.... Bobby having his surrogate father moment. Love this. He so is a father figure to the boys. Maybe even a more normal one than John has ever managed. I am so glad they have Bobby for times likes this.

....He needs you more than the air he breathes.... Bobby and Trish know the brothers better than they do themselves. Likin that. Wondering now though, what'll happen to Sam on the show now that Dean is dead and in hell... Very troubling. Shit, thought I had gotten rid of the haunting emotions about that epi... guess have to write another one-shot 'bout it, this time from Sam's POV.

...trap you in a ring of salt and make you watch ‘Pretty Woman’ over and over again as punishment... LOLOLOLOLOL. Great idea. That'll make eternity in hell look like a piece of cake to Dean. Ain't no bigger punishment than to make him watch that drippy movie. Tho' back in the days I had my fair share of watching it, too.

....hopefully final round of injuries ...Kinda makes me wish for all this pain and hurt to end. WAIT! No not being serious. Some demon must have possessed me while typing that sentence. CHRISTO. Nope gone already, must be floating around somewhere still though. Maybe should check on my guinea pigs if one of them starts plotting to take over the world! NEVER consider to stop writing about hurt!Dean, PLEASE.

...something else was wrong, he just didn‘t know what yet.... yeah, Mark. Check his stitches near his downstairs brain! Good instincts , way to go Doc.

OK, one more at least. Maybe I'll make it to the last one 2nite. I'll definitely try. Cheers, Ilka

Getting there, approaching your latest update ever so slowly, like Dean walking alongside his bed, carefully and apprehensive. OK Helen. This review has some rather large quotes in it. Didn't want to cut something as beautiful as that. Here we go:

....an old, black car that had been nothing more than another hand-me-down and a massive weapons collection that most people would never see in an entire lifetime or even have good reason to, but little else of any meaning to their name, a name that they could rarely share with anyone ...          Awh, Sammy. You break my heart. Being a Winchester sucks out loud sometimes, now doesn't it? Like the way you string together all the weirdness in their life, Helen.

...I didn’t spend five weeks in a coma then another week in and out of a drug induced stupor before having surgery on my most private, most delicate parts and nearly dying after being OD’d by some crazy doctor with an even crazier vendetta against me for no good reason while some dead woman keeps whispering sweet nothings in my ear so just give him a break, will ya? Hell, I‘d be sleeping too if it were me, probably with a half empty bottle of Jack in my hand....        Hilarious and so true. You tell him, Bobby. Sam should take a break worrying over Dean. Guess that isn't gonna happen anyway. Neither could Dean if the situation were reversed. The boys just worry, all the time. Brought up worrying as they were so close to each other, comforting each other when need arose and they have to count on each other while hunting still. So they take care that the other is in good shape and if not it feels like a limb is missing for the healthy bro.

...stop staring at me you flaming pervert....        HAAAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAA. Have to admit, I was kinda staring too. Got my bucket right beside me. The thought of his muscular butt, the pallid skin and muscles spanning his scarred shoulders....... yummy.

...the nurses that have been parading in and out of here all day while you played sleeping beauty got an interesting eyeful...          Exactly how I'd have done it. He is a sexy beast, especially when he is suffering and all pale...

...shower felt even better than sex...         Ha, coming from Dean that sure means a lot. However, a shower WITH Dean would have been HOTTEST.

....all that hardware you got going on there....        Nice way of putting it. Very like the Winchesters. Can clearly hear him say it.

....A real shower and real clothes...today must be my lucky day. ....          Well, you're bound to get lucky sometimes, once or twice in your life, Dean. But don't count on it to go on like this. Helen is a mean person and she is surely planning something devious. So enjoy it as much as you can, won't last forever.

...shit days ahead....        Bobby showing some kind of psychic ability here. But well, I think he refers to the rehab and all.

OK, nice chap again, Helen. On with the next one. Ilka

Hiya Helen, wasn't sure if I should start on # 25 already. I am not a very patient person if I wanna have something I really like. So, brace yourself to be pestered for an update via email... if it takes too long to be posted!!! Just kidding. But I soooo liked it.

....’Fine now that the fire that evil nurse with the face of an angel lit when she did what she did has finally burnt itself out’.....        Haha. Snark is back. Though still not spoken out loud. He is gonna regret that he didn't say anything about the burning sensation. Ouch! So don't wanna be him....

....He’s out house hunting....         Hey! Another hilarious Dean-humour line. Great.

....Jotting down an order or two of his own.... sneaky tone ....        Hey, Mark sure knows how to be mean as does Julia. Those two are made for each other. And I am not sure it'll help to page Mark if something's up in Dean's room. For one:Dean won't complain. Secondly, Trent will show up (that's a guess) before anything else will happen. And Dean will do everything to keep that blonde but stupid nurse from collecting his urine. Can't wait to read about that.

....devious little upturn in the corners of her mouth.....        Hahahahahah. Love Julia. Dean clearly found his match.

....unusual humming ......        Like Dean, huh? Striking resemblance.

....Be gentle with me, I’m a virgin...              Fits of laughter hahahahaahhahaaaa.

.....She’s worse than sadistic…she’s downright demonic....          Yeah, now he is really scared. You show him Julia. Wipe that smart mouth right out of that gorgeous face. Haha.

....There you are baby…god, I’ve missed you ....

Cut this review short. We got an important soccer championship game over here in Europe. And Germany has to win.... So, please update soon. Or beware of my vicious, poking via email! LOVE THIS STORY!!!!!

Hugs, Ilka

Well, baby. Kirst you are amazing.

Awesome idea and artistically put together. Geez, astouned and very proud to know you...

A verbally incontinent sub-conscious. What a hilarious and ingenious idea!!

...Mr. Act-First-Think-Later-If-At-All...   Gawd, if Sammy really could read minds, he'd never have said that.

AWESOME!

And by the way, wildebeest DO migrate as far as I know....

Hugs & Snogs

Ilka

Love long chapters. This one sucked me in. So please do them long. I relish in them.

Author's Response: Ilka, oh you're doing every chapter that is so cool! I really love it when someone does that.
Like longer chapters huh? OK I'll do my best!
Bev xx

MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Author's Response:

Ilka.

Hey just visited your biog page and I was so flattered to see you had tagged me as a fav!  That is such a compliment, I'm stoked!

As to recommendations for other good stories?  wow there are so many on this awesome site.  I'll send you some via your 'contact' button OK?

Thanks very much for reviewing

Bev xx

Hey Bev,

babe, I enjoyed this chapter so much. I like the clashes between Uri and Dean. Over JO and the Impala, both Dean's girls - not Uriel's! But I think they'll end up being pals, men are so simple. Fight and then have a beer! HAHA...

Keep it coming...

Ilka

Bev, awesome update. Can't wait for the next one.

This Belial/Mikey creature is freakin me out!! Wanna see how he gets back at Dean for the exiling. 

I quoted some of your great ideas and descriptions:

"not freaking God!" I don't think you're gonna go to heaven after that babe. But hey, good girls go to heaven, bad ones go everywhere, right? What a boring place heaven is. Nothing to do but singing hymns day in and day out. Who wants to be there? Even Uri doesn't stay there. There's another reason for not going there, huh?

“I think Belial has some connection to you.” Wonder what might come of it combined with the healing gift... intriguing.

"fiery emerald eyes" AND "long lashes sweeping over his pale jade eyes" always like the way you describe the wonderful windows to his soul. Aaaah.

“Hey, driver picks the music and, angel shuts his cakehole!”   HILARIOUS. Still giggling. Love the original quote so much and you just turned it into another awesome joke.

Hugs and Snogs

Ilka

PS be sure to pout on your smurf PJ's. I'll send Dean over soon, you deserve to have him after the whole massive writing session... Only for tonite though!!!

Bev-Bird,

great update. Thank goodness you kept the chapter. I really like it. It's a soft and quiet one, very emotional and deep thoughts in it.  

Thank you for mentioning me in the chapter notes. First time for me! Great. So this calls for a mad review session. Gonna be a long one...

 ....“Hey Boys! Enjoy your dinner date and remember as it’s a first date...no tongues OK?” ... “Sam, can ya say bitch in front of an angel?”....       Owh, he tries so hard to be his former self. But I gotta say I missed the snark and snide remarks big time. So, glad he reverts to this method of calming Sam down, even if lil bro surely sees through it.

...It would be so much easier to gently fall over sideways and just sleep. Probably for a few days!....       Gawd. Such a brave and weak man. Come here, sweetie, lemme give you  hand here. I'll help you wiith everything you need, EVERYTHING!

....He had looked on so many times as younger Dean had cared for Sam when he was hurt or bored, afraid, tired or lonely for John, and it was strange for Bobby to see the eternal defender that Dean consistently was, needing help....      Bobby knows Dean so well, he really feels like a father to them/him. Even sees through Dean's masks way better than John had been able to do. Eternal Defender, yeah so true...

....the frightened child that had so infrequently allowed Bobby to sooth him to sleep and the older man felt his heart lurch at the fear that reverberated in the hurt hunter before him....       aww, sobbing madly (this time!). Must have somethin in my eye... Dean, for once in your damned hard life, OPEN UP! Bobby is the best person to confide in!!! Like the way Bobby's thoughts return to the child and then back to Dean as a hunter. Heart breaking.

...How is it that you can believe in evil without batting an eyelid, but the concept of absolute good and the gain it might bring us in this fight, scares the pants off ya?”.... Exactly, you tell him Bobby! For a person who is never scared and tries to be the muscle every time, Dean clearly is a bit too much like Sam here. I like that. I personally think that Dean often feels like Sam but denies it because he is used to being the strong and protective one. And he is so terrified by the angels, poor boy.

...there are so few of us that what we do hardly makes a dent... Where do I sign up? Wanna go on a hunt ASAP. You can always count on me Dean!

...“So now here are these...freaking angels of god, divine emissaries of peace and love and they’re real and involved up to the tips of their pure white wings in this awful fight and...”.... He is really passionate and elaborate, isn't he? Like that, once he's in the flow there is no stopping him, like watching him take on an evil SOB in a fight. And I repeat my thoughts that Dean is a very complex man, deep thinking, just like Sammy. There are only few moments he allows himself to show this. Those are the moments I cherish a lot, even more than hut!Dean (that should give you an idea).

...Bobby, there are actual angels on our side and we’re still losing!... Just how deep thinking is that man? I haven't looked at the angel-business like that. What a revelation. Clearly the brain,not the muscle.

...It was as if hope had been shown to him only to be ripped away again from his frantically grasping hands..... *sniffles*, no, it's hay-fever, hunny... uhm.

The replay of the events in The Fallen: Like how he has to relive the scenes once he has opened up so much. Once his walls and masks are down, he's so vulnerable, isn't he? I'd like to give him a big hug now.....

....The angel watched as a myriad of graphic memories commanded Sam’s concentration and he found himself wondering at the life these two men had endured. He held his tongue and sat in easy silence as he allowed Sam the space to contemplate..... Hm, like that. Brilliant. Mirrors Bobby's demeanour nicely. Didn't even know Uri had it in him to be quiet and listen... diarrhoea of the mouth gone it seems.

....They paused again, each man slightly self consciously logging the surprising feeling of shared understanding..... Aaww, bonding. Sam and Uri have a lot in common, over-protective brothers can be a pain-in-the-ass, I think. Don't have one myself. Must ask my lil sis if I am an ass sometimes...

....There was an irony how like his ‘perpetually in motion’ brother he looked at that moment, and had he been able to see through his annoyance, he would have laughed at the similarity... Cute. Dean is like Sam and Sam like Dean! Haha! Brilliant, excellent, AWESOME!

....His response became a surprised and somewhat nervous question.... hey, Uriel caught off guard and no snide remark this time. Weird but so so so sweet. Like that angel... Great OC.

Hey, have branched out again. But you deserve this, hunny. Hope you're better today. Loves ya and always there for you if you need me!

Hugs, Ilka

Louy,

the devil's trap sounds intriguing. Something's bound to happen there! Aw, wish I was a faster reader...

And Bobby is planning something, is he now? Wonder what the old man has got up his sleeve...

On with the next chapter,

Ilka

Lou,

did it again. Great chap. Especially liked the quoting of "Carry on wayward son", one of my favs. First time I heard it on the show, kept listening to it for days on repeat. Drove my boyfriend crazy, hehe

Ilka