The first thought I had after I read the last line of Chapter 2

"Wow"

I can't remember the last time I had to sit back, take a breath and collect myself after I finished reading a short story; and it's only the second chapter...amazing in so many ways...

Your stories...it's amazing what you can do with one word...from the engaging concept and rich, flowing detail, to the satisfying conclusion---it seems to be magic...

Please consider these new promps to spark some more magic for your reading fans:

spider threads; sealed in; a hunger for power; the idea was almost viral in the way it took off; spikes can work; it hurts less if...; speak slowly, fight quickly; twisted; angling for one last try; that's creepy even for me; smashing through

And here, also, are some relatively older promps:

final test; crazed intentions; 1300 feet to glory; parking lot mayhem; alliance of necessity; branded by pain's fire; momentary lapse; viscious circle; pontificating ass; conquest of madness; power play; battlefield tested; as alike as fire and ice; hunter's paradox; agent of whispered threats; and this short phrase, "Wings, I need wings, 'cause this flying through the air without them is so not working anymore..."

Hopefully, a story or two will result from a few of these...how you take the story idea and cleverly turn-it-on-its-ear (in a good way) during its execution, leads to a most remarkable journey for your readers---as a writer, your stories are a joy to read.

This has to be one of my favorite stories you've written so far...and it's right up there with some of the best short stories I've read in years.

For example, your line:

"This Sam Winchester used to be the only one there was, until the man you are now started to emerge from boyish dreams and confused longings, much as he is trying to emerge from your own jumbled memories and occasional fitful nightmares."

Wow, way to show where his remarkably strong dual nature (which, in the theme of the show is his greatest strength) comes from...it's inherent to his character, as fundamental to who he is as an adult, as his genes are to his humanity.  You captured this so perfectly, so exquisitely, I had to read it several times to catch all the subtle nuances...

When I read the last line---

"But this Sam Winchester is the one who loves, more than anything in the world, not Jess, but Dean, and so you know when he says 'All right, I'll come with you,' that no matter whether or not you make it back to the interview on Monday morning, you've lost."

---it elicited such a strong emotional response (delight and happiness being foremost), that, again I found myself rereading it.  Why would my reaction be happiness when you ended the story with the words "you've lost"?  There is no "lost" for Sam; who he is, as you so cleverly and clearly showed before, what his personality is capable of, is not limited to one persona or the other...he is both, in equal measure, because the path his life has taken, and the path he chose to take, has allowed him this profound inner strength.

Wow, I say it again, what a remarkable work this is...the narrative's perspectives, the strong plot movement, the theme that unfolds so steadily and true (and so beautifully), even the stripped-down nature of the concepts presented (there are no unnecessary tangents, no useless verbiage)---in other words, your story's really focused and tight---makes this a great read all the way around.

Post Script:  "Awe"...yep, that's what is it, I feel awe for your skill as a writer...which is why "Wow" keeps popping up---"Wow, Geez" is the definition of "awe"...well, at least here in Ohio (okay, so I penciled it into my dictionary, doesn't make it a deal-breaker, just means your work elicits wildly exclamatory responses when being read...this is a good thing...truly...)

I finished this chapter after having had numerous occurrences of goose bumps, gasps and uncontrollable heart-pounding moments.  Loved the ending---I interpreted it as a "there's-hope-for-future" kind of thing...I'm sticking to that angle like glue.  Expertly crafted. Breathtaking story.

Author's Response: As always thank you so much and I love the review!  I'm so happy that this chapter worked for you.  Hope is a good thing but there has to be a level of despair before hope can shine through.

There is so much that's right about this chapter, it's difficult to single out individual moments upon which to comment; but there is one scene that is particularly touching:

"Do you know what made me finally decide to do it?"

"No."  Ben's voice was merely a whisper as he realized the effect his choices had had on his uncle.

 "I was afraid seeing you die that way would destroy your dad."  Sam brushed away the lone tear that he saw run down Ben's cheek before it reached his ear.  "I didn't say that to upset you."

The emotional content is so delicately nuanced and precisely phrased, that this small exchange between Sam and Ben, is saturated with depth and power.  It's an amazing scene, played out perfectly in its poignancy.

With the introduction of Judge Alicia Quinn's scenes, the skillfull unfolding of the low-key action allowed for a satisfying peek into the Wincester mystique, while simultaneously carrying the plot forward. This was so enjoyable because it was handled with such deftness, the encounter came to life.

Can't let the self-help group concept go by without at least acknowledging how much fun it was being there with them...

And finally, with the unfolding of the ending, oh no, no, no---my heart skipped a beat again.  This can't be happening...How much more "bad" can hit these guys?  I was only able to desperately hold on to a small thread of hope because I knew Dean and Sam would fix this, they had to... 

Vivid descriptions catapulting the intense and violent action forward, culminating in a heartbreakingly poignant revelation.

Pain To The Max

Dean and Sam now have to repair the inordinate amount of damage caused by all these good intentions.  These  are catastrophic events in the Winchesters' lives...plain and simple, you always make it worse before it gets better, and it's killing me... 

"exitus acta probat"

(the outcome justifies the deed)

From the start of this chapter, actions are driven by truths recognized and acknowledged for the first time.

"Premit altumcorde dolorem"

(He controls the deep grief in his heart)

Emotions, raw and overwhelming, cannot be used to direct the actions necessary for the fulfillment of their mission---the salvation of a child.

And once the child, who imbues their souls with strength is found and saved, their lives have not a moment for reflection nor peace, as fear and death calls them to arms once more.

"Crudelis ubique ivctus, ubique pavor et plurima mortis imago"

(Everywhere cruel sorrow, everywhere terror and very many images of death)

For many readers, this chapter brought salvation and light to our hero's lives.  Their paths are not their own, however, and they are called upon to continue the fight against a great evil...but this fight will be waged as a team:  strength shared and wisdom embodied in a complete and whole family of hunters...

Winchester Style

What a ride...this story is kick-a_s great... 

Well, you've done it again...you have everything in this chapter...seriously, everything...and I don't know what words to use that'll praise this chapter enough... 

Astounding

While in need of "A Walk on the Wild Side" fix, I went back and reread the five chapters you've posted so far, and it was while I was in the middle of doing my reading that it struck me how smoothly the transitions between the nonverbal action scenes and the dialog scenes (and vice verse, of course) were accomplished...the chapters flew by so quickly, I was surprised when I reached the end.

Aside from the obvious need for more of this action packed story, which is something I am more than willing to wait for (great rewards come to those who wait and all that) I have to say, this is a most interesting way to read a story---the way it flies by so quickly and seamlessly---it rivals some of the finest and most talented authors I have ever had the pleasure of reading.

You are an author of remarkable skill, and regarding your story lines, you exceed some of my favorite authors for the unique vision, the unique plots and themes with which you invest these wonderful, short stories.

Man, I love your stuff...

Kate

The obvious big "plus" regarding this chapter, is the cleanliness of our heroes.  Taking the time to personify the old saying, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness," the shower scenes are the heart and soul of the chapter.

But delving into the text a little deeper, the subtler, more refined aspects of the author's storytelling abilities come to light.  The phrasing, the pacing and the tone of very specific moments throughout the story, fulfill a standard of previously high expectations that her readers have come to expect.  These points in the storytelling art, are almost magical in their execution.  The words, phrases, and concepts used to describe the scenes are fresh, active, unique and perfect.  Only an author of her caliber can carry off a description of the challenge the two brothers find themselves facing, when they realize their needs are identical and cannot be taken care of at the same time.  This dilemma is both strongly and beautifully written in the following paragraph:

"For a brief moment all was calm and still as 'The First Shower Debate:  The Intrinsic Rights of The Oldest vs. The Extenuating Hair Care Needs of The Youngest" was silently waged through eye contact and brow movement."

The fight scene resulting from this challenge is a vivid rendering in words, of a true physical competition to attain their individual goals, and the imagery leaps off the page in real time, as the reader is pulled into the action as it unfolds.

So much in the way of the setting up of the scene, the delicate nuances of the brothers' reactions, and the resulting execution of their responses to that classic plot device of them both needing the same thing at the same time, carries that subtle tone of the western gunfighter standoff and shootout that resonates so well as a universal concept.

All this, and we haven't finished reading the first page.

How is it possible to pack so many detailed scenes in such a tightly woven chapter?  It is a testament to an extraordinary skill and a brilliant mind.

This is a gift, a rare gift, and we, the readers are blessed to have the opportunity to immerse ourselves in this exquisitely, fine-tuned world of delightful and unique people and the places they inhabit.  The story's tone is so "on-the-money," while the pacing has the perfect balance of detail and action and dialog.

This chapter stands alone as a classic and pure example of an author's unique and singular vision, and, irregardless of how many times it is read and reread, the theme, the plot and the overall execution hold up with repeated close examination.  In the end, they never grow dull, they never lose their luster.

After all, any author who can keep her readers with her, through an otherwise awkward scene in the end stages of a shower that is ending when the hero, "Sighing contentedly, his eyes drifted closed as one soap slicked hand ran across his firm stomach and...", has a true gift.  She has played her cards with flawless skill, allowing readers of all sensibilities, the opportunity to enjoy a moment that, in anyone else's less gifted hands, would have been denied to certain segments of some reader populations despite their interest in the story's moment.

This chapter has so many magical moments, starting with the title of the debate between the two brothers, and ending with the detailed dialog at the end of the chapter. 

It will always be memorable for more than the obviously delightful aspects of the shower scenes.  The creative energies infusing the descriptions throughout the story are so refined in their detail, they can only be described as "magnificent."

This is a timeless masterpiece.

A classic of the genre.

And naked guys, to boot!

Whoa!

Kate

Haunting...your descriptions are haunting in their precise delineation of all that embodies such a man...

"...He is of the wild..." of, "contained excitement and danger..."

"...He moves from foot to foot...the movement is sensual and mesmerising."

These moments speak so clearly to the reader---it's wonderful to breathe them in and live them through the images as they're described, through this moment in time.

Remarkable detail---remarkable exposition...

Heavenly...

This story is sweet, sweet magic...so exquisite, it's sings---"thin material stretched tight and practically see-through, it's so wet..." how perfect can one moment be?  

"...nudged out of your stupor by a sudden bolt of energy."  Yeah, that would be it...and "utterly refreshed" would be the way such a meeting would finally end...

My heart feels ten years younger with your words and images...magic, pure magic...