Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 01/02/07 Title: Chapter 1: Blood Horse

I was just passing through and saw this story. I really like how you began this. :) You have me hooked.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and commenting.  I hope you enjoy the story.

Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 20/01/07 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Good work so far. Interested to see where this goes.

Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 20/02/07 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

“How old were you when we went to play baseball?”

“Dean, we never played baseball together.”

“It is you. Okay. Get these off of me.”

*laugh* Oh brothers.

Good work, Ace. Hope to see more soon. 

 

Author's Response: aww, thanks sojourner! I tried to throw a bit of humor in there. I am working on my next chapter, and hopefully it will be up by Friday!

Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 30/03/07 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Well Ace, you've left us all hanging again! I hope Nathan can help...but why do I have a bad feeling that he's only ticked the thing off...*shiver* More please :)


Author's Response: Thank you so much sojourner! I will have more up *hopefully* by next week.

Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 23/05/07 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

Oh my...At least they made it to a hospital. Good work, Ace. I think I can breathe a bit better knowing they're in the hands of hospital staff...but they're in such bad shape. More please.

-SJ

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing Sojourner! The ride isn't over yet though. Thanks for reading!

~Kayla

Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 24/07/07 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

“Man, put your arms down, I can see down your gown!” -Hahaha!

Very nice!

 

-SJ 

Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 24/01/07 Title: Chapter 1: Don't Look Back

I love that song. And this was very well written. A great read.

Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 08/02/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Aw man, I spent way to long writing this review and wasn't the first...*sigh* Anyway:

Dean sat Indian-style on top of the dryer, his eyes momentarily breaking from their guardian-like observation of his brother standing outside in the darkened parking lot, and resting on the spinning laundry in the clear-fronted washing machines across from him. His legs crossed at the ankles, the soles of his boots were anchoring him, the sleeves of his grey Henley pushed up to his elbows, his arms resting on his knees. He held his right hand in his left hand, unconsciously twisting the silver ring on his right ring finger in much the same way he’d seen his father do when lost in thought.

Whenever they were forced to visit a laundromat, he heard Steve Perry’s distinct wail in his head: they say that the road ain’t no place to start a family. It probably wasn’t the best place to raise one either, but it had always worked just fine for Dean. As long as he made sure John had stopped frequently enough that their clothes remained in decent shape – especially when Sam had been young and Dean was able to pass down his outgrown clothes for a second use – and that they had enough food when John left on a hunt, they’d done just fine.

I love you for those two paragraphs alone. See, I do that, I sit on dryers. And the song Faithfully, my dad would play for me, because he was on the road a lot. When I started writing Supernatural I always thought that would be a fitting song for the Winchesters *huge grin*

Laughed at the puppy line. Can’t really see the boys with a puppy. Dean would probably just stare at it and Sam would be making baby talk to it the whole time. Anyway I digress…

Loved this part:

“Damnit, Sam,” Dean said in a soft voice. “Don’t you know when to quit?”

Sam shook his head. “No.”

Dean sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Why not?”

“’Cause you taught me everything I know.”

That bar fight was intense! Brenna is back. I loved how you used John's phone to get them this hunt and Dean's reason for being pissed. And poor Dean is down. Whiskey upside the head is no way to take it.  

I saw the alert for this in my inbox and ran. So good to have you back. *smile*

 

Author's Response:

I love your reviews. Love them. I am a nervous wreck every time I post, but now I'm just excited to finish the next part and post it.

Thanks for making me smile. I laughed at the image of Dean staring at the puppy while Sam talked baby talk. So true! And YAY for the Faithfully love. Hee.

I hope you enjoy the rest...

GS

Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 21/02/07 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

 

Sorry I didn't review until now. You must have snuck this one in last night. Well, I must say that if I did my usual cut and paste method...this review would be 2000 words long.  *laugh* You packed a lot into this chapter and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Just the tragedy of Dean's pain and purpose makes me wish the world for him...you lay out his pain on all levels so beautifully. Mental and physical. As always, in love with all the Zeppelin and Brenna. That scene at the end...very well done. It spoke volumes about both the characters...but I think gave depth to Brenna and really established the role she plays in Dean's life. Also very sad and tragic. “Even if I wanted that… which I don’t… I know it’s not possible, Dean. You can never belong to me – you already belong to someone else.” True. Painfully true. Excellent character development this chapter, and great job teasing away layers in Dean's complexity. Loved it.

 

Author's Response:

Thanks so much for this! I did sneak it in late last night. Once it gets beta'd I have no patience. Must. Post. Now.

What I hope you see over the next three chapters is that Dean/Brenna's relationship helps Dean realize something about himself -- exactly what I don't want to say because if I do it right, hopefully you'll see. ;) If I don't, then I'll tell you.

I'm so jazzed that you're enjoying this story. And except for being worried about YOUR time, I would never care how long your reviews are. :)

Now... I'm sneaking off to see if you've posted chapter 12...

Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 04/03/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

“You have just as much power to see what you need to – the power to help him and you run from it.”

Loved that!

“There’s always a choice,” Dean’s voice was getting fainter and Sam had to lean forward to catch the next part. “Always a choice…”

“A choice about what?” Sam whispered.

“Death,” Dean said, then seemed to sag a bit in the bed, finally giving in to oblivion.

That broke my heart. Even more so when Dean realized that it was him who was going to go with Tessa.

Sam suddenly realized Dean was counting. He saw him mouth six seven eight, then the verse changed and Dean began again at one. Sam sat down on the side of the bed, his back to Dean, and leaned his arms forward on his knees. He could see Brenna standing in the doorway, arms still crossed, face impassive. He felt the bed tremble as Dean’s body betrayed him. Sam dropped his head, his voice directed toward the ground.

Yay! Dean counting rhythms to stay sane against the pain. I love this about your Dean.

Other things I loved: Loved Sam trying to help Dean by putting his hands on his head and shoulder and concentrating. *smile* That was so great. Loved the seeking the bathroom scene as well.

“What the hell?”

Sam looked back over his shoulder at Dean’s comment. Dean was looking around the ruined room with wide eyes.

“Dean, this is the third time you’ve seen this,” Sam said, spacing his words carefully.

Poor, Dean. You know it’s been a rough go of things when you can’t remember a room you walked through three times.

You taught me to fight, you taught me to survive, you taught me who I was and how to hold onto that, you fought for me, you killed for me, you resisted, you believed, you stayed…

 

Sam’s introspection right there was awesome.

 

“Look at that,” Dean said, a slight tremor betraying him only to Sam. “Turns out there is a reason to bring a knife to a gun fight.”

 

 Yes ma’am. Always keep a knife on that boy. Or else he’d feel “naked.”

I loved this chapter! The brother moments were spot on. I can’t wait to see what happens at noon. This is so great, because Dean and Sam get to fight off humans. I always wanted to have a story like that. So hurry up with the next chapter!

Author's Response:

Feeling naked is bad... being naked on the other hand... hmmm... ideas a-brewin'. :)

Thanks for once again humbling me with your lengthy, detailed reviews. I look forward to them. A lot. :) It's such a treat to see what parts worked for you.

I hope you enjoy the rest. I really look forward to what you think! :)

PS

Can't wait for your chapter 13... *rubs hands in anticipation*

GS

Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 12/03/07 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

You get Dean's Zep seal of approval! *laugh* Okay, now I am being just silly. See what sleep and coffee do to me. So, you want to know what I think? You really want to know? Two words:

Friggin' Sweet! 

Dean flinched, and looked down, twisting the silver ring on his right hand with the thumb and index finger of his left.

That was a great sentence, just for the simplicity of a reflection of John. At least for me, no idea if that was what you were going for.

“No, Dean, it’s more… he did it for you…”

Aw. I was hoping someone would take this approach to the sacrifice.

“Gah,” he grimaced. “Druids don’t know about sugar?”

*laugh* Poor Dean.

And then Jack! Gah, he reminds me of Sterling I was telling you about. You so know that John had some twisted enemies! Love the bad guy.

But Sammy! *gets angry* I want to kick Jack's ass.

I can't wait to see how Dean gets a piece of himself back and how everyone gets out of this.

-Sojourner 

 

Author's Response:

Yay -- I'm glad you want to kick Jack's ass. That is the emotion I was going for. You are still the master at making your bad guys really, really bad, but I hate Jack, so hopefully that comes out as you read about him in Chapter 7. And what a compliment to compare him to Sterling. A truly creepy individual.

I was going for the reflection of John with the ring -- so cool you picked up on that. Thanks for calling out the parts that worked for you. I was trying to get the POV jive down for Dean.

And LUV the Dean Zep seal of approval! Thanks for that. Not silly at all. Perfect way to bring a smile to my face.

GS

Reviewer: sojourner84 Signed
Date: 30/03/07 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Sam lived by a different moral compass, a different set of rules, than Dean. But they were brothers. And by virtue of blood and loyalty, Dean finally knew that Sam would always come back. Sam wouldn’t leave him again. It was suddenly important that Sam know he knew that. But it was so damned hard to talk when he was breathing through a straw.

“Remember,” Dean said again. Remember that there’s always a choice. Remember destiny means nothing. Remember that I’m not going anywhere. Remember that you aren’t alone in this.

Loved all this.

He felt her hand. It was cool and soft and she rested her palm along his cheekbone and her thumb carefully, softly brushed his lips. He felt her touch and he turned his head into the pressure of her hand. It felt good, her touch. It was comforting. It was… it was almost like coming home.

Awww.

On some level he was aware that he was dreaming. It was a confusing mixture of images that his rational mind understood weren’t real, but at the same time, he saw, he heard, he felt, he tasted. There was salt in the air. It was both reassuring and disorienting. Salt particles were always left behind on the air after he blasted a spirit, but he felt no weapon in his hands.

He heard the wild cry of a bird. It was the mournful, desperate sounding cry of a seagull. He blinked his non-existent eyelids and realized that he was standing on a pier jutting out over the ocean. He’d never been here before. He’d seen this place on TV, in movies, but he’d never been here before. He was sure of that.

*laugh* Sorry I know, not funny. But I was listening to Lux Aeterna from Requiem for a Dream when I read this. If you have no freaking clue why that is funny and really freaky, look up the cover art for the soundtrack. It’s a pier overlooking water.

But that scene…in the water…Wow.

 Dean felt a vague sense of claustrophobia with the mask back on, but allowed it. Truthfully, it was easier to breathe with it in place.

Oxygen masks always inflict claustrophobia on the wearer. I can’t stand them…but you need to breath, huh? Guh….just…poor Dean through this whole scene. Recovering quickly with the tonic though...good.

 Iggy stepped back, crossing his arms. Dean could see the figure of a naked woman with the words Lust 4 Life along the length of her thigh tattooed on his forearm.

Ha! Quite a character you’ve created.

 “Dude, seriously,” Iggy shook his head, putting the oxygen mask back on Dean’s face. “Am I gonna have to duct tape this thing to your face?”

*laughs hard* Yeah…with Dean. Probably superglue.

 “I’d almost forgotten, y’know? Can you believe that? Forgotten what it had been like to take Dad from the hospital. To… build that pyre. To look at his face when we wrapped him up and then… when you lit the wood… you were so… you looked as dead as Dad, man. You barely blinked. I felt like screaming. I felt like I was screaming. And you were… God, you were empty. I knew that it was what Dad wanted. I know we did the right thing. But I can’t help but think about the way that fire ate him up… how it wrapped around his body… and even though he was already gone… it… man, it felt like the fire took him from us. Not the demon.”

Bravo! Those were my exact thoughts during that episode. Dean looked so…and fire. Always fire…

 “I asked Sam, he went all existential on me…”

Oh existentialism!!! *laughs* Sorry…philosophy class came back and gave me the giggles. Leave it to Sam to be that way.

 “Little things are worth it to me,” he said, surprising himself. He didn’t know where the words were coming from, but he knew they were true. “Sam, he’s… he’s the reason I do what I do, but… it’s things like driving the Impala, or drinking a beer on a cool night, or, God, I don’t know… getting a hot chick’s phone number.”

Thank you. No seriously. Thank you. *tears* Dean wants to live to just live. Once again you’ve done his character justice and spoken to me at the same time…Little things are what get is through, are they not?

 “You just have to get up every day and you have to decide what you’re gonna fight for,” he said.

*nod*

 Damn right, you need to be around. I don’t want to do this without you… I can. I know that now. I can do this without you. But I don’t want to. It’s only worth it because of you.

*smile*

Why’s a crooked letter that no one’s been able to straighten out.

Saw this in your WD entry. ;)

Kansas….Zeppelin…my heart melted.

 “That’s the stuff,” he sighed.

Amen, Dean.

 “I never said I wanted it to be,” she replied, stepping closer. “I know what Sam means to you, Dean. I know he’s your balance. I know he’s your innocence.” She put her hand on his thigh, her legs against the bumper of the Impala. “I care about you too much to change that.”

Alright. I’ll just say it. If there is ever a reoccurring love interest in the show for Dean. Kripke needs to take notes! I’m sorry, but I adore your OFC. Brenna is just lovely and good for him.

 “If it keeps on rainin’, levees goin’ to break, if it keeps on rainin’, levees goin’ to break. When the levee breaks I’ll have no place to stay…”

PERFECT

It was different this time, he knew. The first time he’d been with her had been a gift, an act of light against the dark in a hot New Orleans hotel room. The second time had been desperate, angry, a way to forget the hurt they were feeling if only for the moment. This… this was slow, soft, and more real than anything…

Again…this whole scene was perfect.

The end with the motorcycle. *beams like an idiot* You know I always saw him with a girl on a motorcycle. Ha!

So…it is over…*sad*

You just keep evolving. You know that? Each story, and each chapter just keeps building you into this wonderfully skilled author. I know you want to write original work someday. You keep sharpening your gift and I've loved watching that. 

This was brilliant and so beautifully written. I look forward to whatever you come up with next,GS. It has been an honor to journey with you, Storyteller.

 

-Sojourner

Author's Response:

And... I'm teary. Your reviews do that to me -- you pluck out pieces of me with your line selections, and then you honor, flatter, amuse, and humble me. Thank you so much for taking the time to post such thorough reviews. I need to take a lesson. :)

I'm so glad this story worked for you. And thank you for what you said about my skills as a writer and storyteller. I am looking forward to your next chapter and to our summer endeavor as well.

Until next time -- GS