Nice descriptive paragraphs, love your word choice.  Examples that stood out to me:

Dean removed his hand once he could tell Sam was awake. He wrapped his fingers around the steering wheel, the silver ring that never left his hand clinking against the black metal. He slid his eyes sideways to look again at his brother; surreptitiously checking on Sam’s status was as natural to him as breathing.

~~~

She tried to ignore the fact that his grey T-shirt outlined the curve of the chest she still remembered clearly from last night, and accented his well-muscled arms perfectly. She also tried to ignore the fact that his hazel-green eyes lit up when he was pissed. Like he was now. 

My thoughts after this paragprah were: good luck! You can't ignore Dean's lusciousness.

~~~

I like the authenticism of them being Irish & drinking Jameson whiskey.  I went to Ireland & visited that distillery & even participated in a whiskey tasting there. 

I absolutely love your writing style! Your word choice is amazing, it adds and heightens the story so much! You write the brothers, the characters themselves and the relationship between the two, so realistically & so true to the show.

Brenna was definitely a mystery, but I liked her, she added to the story & your writing made it easy to visual her looks, behaviors, mannerisms – great job!  She didn't interfere with our boys and she definitely added to and progressed the story.  I liked your decision to not have her go into the building to help rescue Dean.  Also, another important factor, you didn't make her Mary Sue-ish at all – so a big congrats on that! 

Dean on a tractor to go save Sam – classic!

I really enjoyed this character & the OC (which is unusual for me, especially considering she hooked up with one of our boys).  I don't like most OC b/c al lot of times, it's not done right, but you did it perfectly, I enjoyed her & her interaction between our boys.  Love your writing – as always!

Definite attention grabber at the beginning that had he craving to see what happened to get the boys to that point, very curious!

Wow…the scene with Dean in the house & having to kill the pregnant woman b/c she'd been bitten…that was powerful.  Your writing is incredible, very descriptive and vivid.  You definitely got the brothers down really well.  Their interactions and behaviors towards each other is very true to the characters and the show.

You definitely kept he hooked throughout the whole story, you revealed just enough with each chapter.   You did a great job capturing Dean's spirit induced downward spiral/breakdown.  It was very well written (from both Dean & Sam's perspective); you really got into their heads. 

Example of good descriptions. It's so simple but your word choice makes it clear and easy to imagine:

“Fine!” Dean snapped. His anger was soon forgotten in the need to maneuver the big car cautiously through the narrow tilting streets. Sharp turns confronted him unexpectedly and the street went up and down with maddening irregularity. The houses, old Victorians, sprawled over the ground almost to the street itself in places. Everything from tiny cottages to huge mansions crowded against each other for what little flat space there was between the valleys and ravines they were perched on. Many of the old houses were in disrepair. A few were in the process of being remodeled. Almost all of them had a sign out front advertising Bed and Breakfast.

This scene was yummy, had me picturing it, which resulted in my feeling flush (at the workplace too!):

The rain plastered his boxers to his muscular frame and for all intents and purposes he may as well have been naked. Dean obviously didn’t care as he continued rubbing his hands over his body to rid it of whatever bloody memories he could.

My thoughts after this: Gawd – I so want to be his hands right about now!

Sweet story. Like the image of Dean & John at a fair – especially playing the shooting games! Dean naming them 'foogers' – classic Dean!  Good imagery, it was a solid story.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review!  Glad you enjoyed the story.  Happy New Year!

Very sweet memories of Dean & Sam being born, very touching and made me all warm and fuzzy.  Good variety of past that enhanced the story and made it more real & helped to delve into John's emotions further.  Nicely written story that was very sweet but not overly and unrealistically sweet.  I very much enjoyed it. 

Definitely kept me on the edge of my seat.

You characterize the boys perfectly.  Their thoughts, feelings, behaviors, mannerisms - everything is spot on.  Even if I had never seen the show (which would be a real shame) I would completely understand the boys as individuals and as brothers.  You write them so well that the visual is so clear and easy to imagine. You really get into their minds. I absolutely love how you write their relationship as well, it's so true to the characters and the show.

~~~

Great wording & great descriptions, throughout the whole thing, but this paragraph stood out to me:

He felt like Brenna had scooped his lungs from his chest with her words. Dean looked at him and for a moment Sam saw his brother’s heart in his eyes – raw, bleeding, barely beating. Then as he’d managed to do so many times over the last months, Dean emptied his eyes of all emotion until they were simply mirrors of green in his tense features.

Loved it! Loved it! Loved it!

Good, solid writing and story idea.  Conversations felt real and the emotions and thoughts of the characters were true to the show.

Author's Response:

Wow, thanks! I'm always super thrilled when someone comments on how well the boys come across as their canon selves...it's something I do work even though at times I do like to push the emotion just a bit. I still want you to be able to hear them and I'm happy that you can hear them. 

Thanks for reading and reviewing! 

I really enjoyed this story.  It was a great younger story, you really seemed to get the relationships down between the boys & each other & the boys (both individually & together) & John.

Nice, simple, but powerful story of Sam's fear of becoming evil. Good writing skills!

Simple, but nice story.  I like the idea of Sam hunting while he was Stanford & that he only did it when he missed Dean, that made sense.  Also, it was realistic that Dean didn't stay to see Sam.  Good writing. 

Some of the transitions from past to present were a little rough. Nice story, I was interested to see who this person is & what her relationship is w/ the boys (Dean particularly).  I got to say that your writing was good, pretty solid.  I become disinterested in the original character and found myself unable to continue with the story past chapter 7 (6 or 7). When she yelled at John, I don't know, it just seemed to unreal to me & kind of Mary Sue-ish.  You did portray the brothers (both current & past) very well. 

Author's Response: Hey sorry this one didn't get it done for you. It was actually one of the first stories I'd ever written, so I know it was a bit rough.  Thanks for taking the time to let me know your thoughts..K

Nice catchy beginning.  I liked how it was set up like a real episode with the case snippet in the beginning, giving the reader a hint of what the boys will be going after but still leaving plenty of mystery.  Nice touch with Dean wishing for Sam back in his life & how that immediately preceded the events of the pilot. I liked Marie, you really portrayed her well & brought her to life.  I like her backstory and the story of why she is out for revenge, there's more depth to it.  This story had great twist that kept me thoroughly interested and hooked. Good interaction between the brothers that felt real and was true to the characters and the show.

Author's Response:

Thanks kumaproogey!

Your review means so much to me...I am so happy this read as an episode for you and you felt that I stayed true to the characters. It really is something I strive to do in every one of my stories.

Thanks again!

Good, solid story. Nice characterizations of both Sam & Dean.  Loved the angst, both physical and emotional. 

You have good story idea. The story felt  rushed though.  In 3 chapters it went from Dean to being possessed, to Sam being possessed to Dean stabbing Dean & then Sam being released from the hospital.  It made it a little hard to follow. You have a good writing style & from what I saw you write the relationship between the brothers pretty well.  You just need to fill it out more (not enough substance).  Also I had no idea where the doctor came into play – there was no backstory there, I was confused.  I don't want to come across as rude, but I stopped reading this story after about 7 chapters because I wasn't sure what was going on, it seemed kind of jumpy to me, also the lack of backstory & substance made it somewhat difficult to read.  Also, some of the dialogue didn't seem real at all.  Maybe I stopped too early.  I think you have a real talent, it just needs to be developed more.