Penname: Hooligan [Contact][Report This]
Real name: Jo
Member Since: 31/05/11
Reviews by Hooligan
What can I say ... 400 words of gratuitous nakedness.
And a chocolate cake.
Categories: One Shots Characters: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 400
[Report This] Published: 30/05/11 Updated: 30/05/11
Reviewer: Hooligan Signed
Date: 31/05/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
It was the chocolate cake that got me. Nice summary.
The start to a sentence is always capitalised, even in dialogue. This:
obvious lack of pockets; "and where the hell am I supposed to keep it?"
Should be this:
obvious lack of pockets; "And where the hell am I supposed to keep it?"
Not commenting on the semi-colon because the blasted things always confuse me.
Frankly, i love it. Dean's first line is completely in-character, and the dentures were a great touch.
Glad you enjoyed it; I will bear your cfomments in mind!
Thank you :)
I did of course mean 'comments'
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