Very interesting, but I do love the imagery of the aspect.

Author's Response: Thanx for the review sam. Glad you thought it was interesting.

The first rule of the critic is that he should never review a story that is incomplete.  The danger is that if he does, he will have to later recant that which he has written because either a bad story will turn to gold.  Or more often, a good story will go bad.

However, sometimes, given sufficient reason, the rules should be broken.  "My Shadow at Night" provides such a reason.  Written by a young - and presumably pretty tough if she is willing to face the critics - 13 year old, it is a story that has more than a few flaws, but that also holds some tantalizing potential.

First to the flaws.  "My Shadow at Night," like may stories written by amateurs, utterly lacks in pacing and development. The author is in a hurry and therefore she does not devote the time and detail necessary for her scenes to evolve.  The result is a sense of truncation and a concomitant loss of mood and atmosphere. This is perhaps not surprising in such a young writer, but it weakens the story nevertheless.

Further, where detail is provided, it tends not to be very convincing.  There is perhaps no better example of this than in the newspaper headline that send Sam and Dean into action - "Young Girl Dies Suddenly."  Really?  That's it?

If such a headline is all it takes to get the Winchester boys in gear, we should soon expect them to collapse in bewildered exhaustion.  People dieing suddenly is not exactly unknown for the most common reasons, after all.

Of course the problem is that the headline is no headline at all - and that no newspaper would ever run one like it.  This is a small detail, but on such details stories are built, and it is clear that the author was again in too much of a hurry to think through a more logical and realistic spur to action for our heroes.

Further, the news story gets no explication. So there is no explanation of why its headline would catch Sam and Dean's attention. Consequently, the reader is left to fill in the gaps.

Writers cannot expect their readers to cover the gaps, and therefore they need to make sure that all the holes are filled so that the foundation can be laid for a solid and logical story.  That takes patience and an attention to detail that, again, the author has not quite yet mastered.

Having said that, for all its undeniable weaknesses, "My Shadow at Night" offers some astonishing strengths and the potential for a complex and sophisticated story.  Perhaps one of the best examples of this is in the opening of the story itself.

Too much "Supernatural" fan fiction fails because it does not capture the "feel" and "flavor" of the show. The result is that the reader ends up with a story that happens to be about two guys named Sam and Dean Winchester.  That is not the problem here.

"Shadow" opens with a mysterious murder as viewed by someone watching the victim.  This is exactly how some of the best "Supernatural" episodes open and the author captures it, notwithstanding her otherwise weak grasp of tone, with near perfection.  One can almost hear a reader exclaiming - "This is what a Supertnatural episode feels like," and can almost see the word "Supernatural" flashing on the screen as the opening credits roll.

That is an astonishing bit of writing and the author deserves much credit for her grasp of the Supernatural's "television tone."  Not an easy thing to pull off - as much other fan fiction demonstrates by its failure to do so.

Also impressive is the author's development of the monster.  Not so much because the monster is original - though it pleasantly is - but because of the author's deft handling of the beast. Early on we see the monster, but we are not told its name or origin.  Rather, the author cleverly drips out little bits of information about the creature through the dialogue of her characters.

This is an exceptionally clever technique as it allows the author to generate the chills without losing any of the mystery. That mystery, one assumes, will be what Dean and Sam unravel as the story progresses.  Very shrewd and a great way to keep the reader engaged.

Most incredible, however, is the author's handling of her characters.  To digress for one moment, it has to be said that - so far - characterization in the story is very weak. The plot is only two chapters long.  Sam and Dean have only put in one brief appearnace in which their dialogue barely sounded like the characters we know.  For the rest, there has been a profusion of supporting characters, none of whom are more than sketches.

Yet, the author has managed to set up a positively fascinating parallel.  Her protagonist - Simon - is the son of a female hunter who blames himself for his father's death and yearns for a normal life.  This is a brilliant juxtaposition to Sam - the son of a male Hunter who is involved in the death of his mother and who sought that normal life and paid the price for doing so.

Yet, where Sam is intellectual and quiet and committed to helping others, Simon is emotional and bitter and seemingly self-absorbed.  The stage is set here for an astoundingly complex psychological and moral interplay.

So far, Sam and Simon have not even met, yet the dramatic possibilities here almost boggle the mind.  The questions just beg to be asked and answered.

Will the similarities between Sam and Simon drive them together or apart? Will Sam find in his tormented mirror image a friend or an antagonist?  Will Simon be a spur to Sam to continue on as a Hunter, or will he be a reminder to Sam of his own desperate yearning for a normal life?

These questions, of course, cannot be answered because the author has not completed the story. Can a young writer really pull this off, or will this tantalizing plotline be lost by a writer whose reach has exceeded her grasp? It remains to be seen.

That said, a tip of the hat must go to a young author who has hit upon a fascinating and potentially very deep idea.  Will the story pay off its promise?  There is no way to know for sure other than to say - stay tuned.  

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review and the advice, im really grateful.

omg sharky

that was really good.i thunk it's so sad what simon had to see happen to his dad it's not good for a young person to witness.

but im impressed keep up the good work.don't be to long with the next chapter.

love golden XxXx

Author's Response: Thanks golden your a star thanks for the review.

Good job! No worries, I know homework (such a tricky and time-consuming thing) and I've got some patience. Take your time.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the support Scanilla.

Sharky, Had to leave a quick review...i think you write soooo well at your age..... so proud of you and Schelz....

I'm looking forward to seeing how this story grows and develops....      :0)   jude

Author's Response: Thanks Jude for the review you are so kind.

Wonderful chapter, Sharky!  What a cool way to meet the Winchesters---you're description of them in the car is perfect!

I love the scene where the shadow creature gets Samantha---very spooky, very expressive! 

Author's Response: thanks im glad you thought that the description of them in the car was perfect im thriled that your finding it spooky.

Good update!

Love how you've given Zara and Simon a background.

Author's Response: Thanks.xxx

WoW this is quite a tale, really enjoying it, looking forward to seeing where this goes!

Great work Cuddles!

Author's Response: Glad you like it .

Good beginning!  Reel me in, I'm hooked!  I especially like the bit in the hotel room with Zara and her son.  Obviously, they know this sould catcher. Can't wait for more!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review. Glad you are hooked, will update as soon as I can. Too much home work...sucks!!! Sharky

I seriously can't believe you're 12yrs old. This is really good, I am interested to know more about Zara and her son.

I think Bulletbabe is right, talent certaintly runs in the family.

Very good Cuddles13!

Brownsuga. XxX

Author's Response:

Thank you Brownsuga, I will be free from 12yrs old in 12 days. Lol Glad you liked this. Sharky

Yes! Excellent beginning! Excellent. I'm so excited to read the rest of this story!

~Kayla

Author's Response:

Wow! Thank you so much Kayla, really really happy that you liked it, excited to see what you think of the next chapter. Sharky

Very good, please update more

A very interesting story

Author's Response:

Thank you Andromeda, I will update as soon as I can. Sharky