Reviewer: supernaturaljunkiejude (Signed) · Date: 03/03/08 07:41 PM · On: Chapter 5 - Envy

oh, WOW!!!! Bj..............I absolutely cannot breathe by the time i complete one of these chapters of yours....Like a massive weight crushing my chest....SOOOOOO MUCH ANGST AND PAIN AND TURMOIL!!!!!

Author's Response:

Thanks, Jude,

Yeah, I know!  And like Jensen says the emotional acting takes it toll on he and Jared, writing this takes its toll on me.

Now that Dean is back, we will get some brotherly moments in the next chapter and I think Leviathan has worn out his welcome.  Dean is majorly upset with his brother, so there will still be angst galore, but hopefully the healing can start.

Thanks for all the support, B.J.

Reviewer: jujitsuelf (Signed) · Date: 20/02/08 07:19 AM · On: Chapter 5 - Envy

Wow! I'm absolutely loving this fic. Can't wait for the next chapter. I'd so love to see this filmed. Carry on the great work!

Amy

Author's Response:

Thanks, Amy!  Yeah, like most fanfic writers, what I wouldn't give to have J & J film my scenes and speak my dialogue!  One can dream.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, B.J.

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 16/02/08 05:03 PM · On: Chapter 4 - Pride

"Maybe there was nothing left to give, nothing left to take, nothing left to save."  What a profound statement!  It hit me really hard.

Wow!  Your description of Dean, his pride, his arrogance, the way he uses himself to get attention from others is so powerful!  I reread it a couple of times just to let all the facets of your words play in my mind.  How explosive!

This story continues to be incredible, to push me to ponder the Winchesters lives, strengths and weaknesses.  You backlight what we already see to reveal more depth and new meaning.

Author's Response:

Thanks for quoting my line, it is always nice to know a line affects someone.

I think these Winchesters are amazing in how complex and intriguing they are.  Dean is so very fascinating because regardless of his outward beauty, you feel this deep emotional undercurrent and pain.  Like DALDOM showed us, Dean doesn't see what others see, he knows all the darkness within and it scares him.

Oh, how I love this show and examing the many facets of the Winchesters.  Always nice to know my observations are appreciated.  Thanks so much, B.J.

Reviewer: bulletbabe (Signed) · Date: 16/02/08 03:21 PM · On: Chapter 5 - Envy

Firstly, this is a very powerful piece of writing. It encompasses all those desperate feelings of grief and loss and relates it all to the Winchesters and their completely screwed up childhood so great work for that!

Secondly, the warning you gave at the start of this chapter might put a few readers off but I hope that find the courage to read anyway.

What you've written in a non-gratuitous account of the aftereffects of a devestating event in a young persons life, and I for one have no problem with a ficticious documentation of these sorts of issues. What you're doing is raising awareness of something that does affect us all and shouldn't be ignored because it's uncomfortable.

By doing it within the confines of the world of fiction - there is no true victim and yet the outrage and horror is tangible, possible more so because we all have such an affinity with these characters.

A very powerful piece of writing that raises awareness and will probably affect many readers.

 

Author's Response:

Oh, thank you again!  I only hope I do justice to this sensitive subject.

Frankly, this story terrifies me.  My friend, the counselor, has been pushing me since I started it to not back away from the difficult material, even tho my first reaction is to cut and run!

Throw a little controversy my way and I really wanted to end this story.  Yet, I think it is very important not to hide from issues like this just because they are unsettling, and I do think Dean shows some classic signs of perhaps dealing with something like this happening in his past.

True strength comes from facing difficult issues and learning to deal with them.  I only hope I can be as brave as Dean and all the Winchesters have always been and successfully accomplish what I hope to with this story.

Thanks again, B.J.

Reviewer: bulletbabe (Signed) · Date: 16/02/08 02:37 PM · On: Chapter 4 - Pride

Wow, just saw you'd posted the next chapter and had no idea I'd missed one. What a great surprise especially when the read is as good as this...

And what a fantastic chapter, managing to delve into the mind of both boys and I have to say I think you have written some of the best descriptions of their complex relationship, warped, loving, guiltladen and very very real.

And on top of that you have looked ahead and beaten Kripke to the punch. Just watched 'Dream a little dream' and the end of that episode where Dean confronts himself could have been written by you!

Fantastic work, moving on to next chapter...

Author's Response:

You have no idea how good your review made me feel!  Thank you!

This story is a hard one and there has been some backlash, but I do think the Winchesters' lives have never been easy and to fully understand them you have to acknowledge the darkness they lived thru.  It is their complexity and how they survived their hard lives that is so compelling.

Yeah, I got a real thrill from DALDOM.  I LOVE when I capture the boys and my ideas mesh with the shows. 

Thanks again, B.J. 

Reviewer: rebecca (Signed) · Date: 26/12/07 08:57 PM · On: Chapter 4 - Pride

awsome!!!!!!!!!

keep coming!!!

Author's Response: Thanks, another chapter in January.  Happy Holidays, B.J.

Reviewer: GotTheShining (Signed) · Date: 20/12/07 07:03 PM · On: Chapter 2 - Gluttony

The images this chapter brought up almost had tears falling down my face too. Very believable! I love the line when Leviathon says "It was the hating you part, right?"

Author's Response:

Yeah, amazing how the power of words can lead your mind to all sorts of places.  This demon really knows how to bring on the pain.

It's hard to know how far Sam will let the demon go, but I too loved that the demon just had to stretch it further and that Sam knew because he knows with certainty that whatever Dean does for him, it is done out of love and even dying for Sam, Dean would never resent or hate him. 

Gotta love the brotherly love and trust me, it is coming, but we have a whole lot of pain first with this story.  Thanks for reviewing, B.J.

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 20/12/07 05:58 PM · On: Chapter 2 - Gluttony

Good for Sam!  Don't believe the filthy devil!  The first two chapter have been so disgusting and diabolical I can't imagine how it could get worse.

Author's Response:

This demon is one nasty SOB, that's for sure.  Sam is so desperate for any info to save Dean and understand him that he is definitely facing some bad times ahead.  Thanks for reviewing, B.J.

Reviewer: Vanessa (Signed) · Date: 25/11/07 07:30 AM · On: Chapter 3 - Wrath

Just caught up with this story.  Wow, you might not like writing all the darkness, but you sure are good at it!  This is a wonderfully put together story, and one can just feel the torment and pain.

Good job.

Author's Response:

Thanks, Vanessa.  Yes, I much prefer writing the pure comedy even though the darkness is more realistic considering the Winchesters' lives.

This story is just consumed in pain and angst and I can't even see any good opportunities to add the little humor touches.

Maybe once they send this bastard packing, the brothers will have some chance to banter.  We'll see. 

Thanks for reviewing, B.J.

Reviewer: birdie (Signed) · Date: 09/11/07 02:22 PM · On: Chapter 3 - Wrath

Dear B.J.  Wow this gets better and better and darker and darker as you go on.  I can feel the heat of passion and pain coming from the pages.  Levi is evil personified and his lies are so seductive.  More please I can take it!  Birdie x

Author's Response:

Yes, he certainly is evil personified and this is the darkest I've ever written.  It does have a power to bring up all these deep emotions just like poor Sammy is going through.

I'm hard at work on the next chapters.  A few more really dark ones before the brothers start to fight their way back.

Thanks for reading, B.J.

Reviewer: ShinyWinchesterGun (Signed) · Date: 07/11/07 05:17 PM · On: Chapter 2 - Gluttony

Oof. 'Nother amazing chapter, bj! Again, not quite telling the truth, making us believe it might be the truth, then totally yanking it away, 'cause duh! Dean's totally not like that...and I'm rambling...and I love your story...'cause it's completely twisted...but so totally awesome....

Author's Response:

Thanks again.  Yeah, this demon is an expert at twisting the truth and manipulating humans.  The one aspect I truly enjoy in this story is being able to explore the rawer aspects of the Winchesters and how their actions could be perceived if you didn't know of the abundant love that runs through their lives. 

An outsider could never understand the Winchesters... their lives are twisted, but not from their own doing, but from the circumstances they find themselves in.  It truly is amazing how they manage to stay true to themselves.

Later, B.J.

Reviewer: Cookie6 (Signed) · Date: 07/11/07 04:56 AM · On: Chapter 3 - Wrath

I was so excited to see this update BJ, just waiting in morbid fascination to see how this evil monster was gunna continue to tear Sam apart. I am glued to this story – fascinated, shocked, outraged, intrigued. Your description is meticulous and explicit. I just ache for Sam, how you write of his desperation to hear yet dreading because once it’s out there it can’t be “unheard”  Your intro with Sam in despair, still reeling from the last ‘sin’ put me right back in the front row seat of this torture chamber. The demon as a catalyst for Sam to twist his own beautiful memories to accommodate the sordid lies was amazing writing *applause* You are the queen of torture and I just knew that words would be the weapon of choice to strike Sam down. Loved your work as Sam struggled for resolve – “He was John Winchester's son... and he was Dean Winchester's brother... they were hunters... warriors... he'd faced worse.  They were the toughest men he'd ever known and he was cut from the same cloth; he was a Winchester and he wasn't going to fall for this demon's mind games…”   The demon’s reminder to Sam of the previous ‘sins’ with the mention of Dean, food and sex was just so sinister, and set him up so perfectly for his crash and burn when he bought up Sam’s history with John and how that affected Dean, very clever BJ, hang it all on that famous Winchester guilt – this evil sucker knows exactly what buttons to push. Sam’s explosion was a stunning climax as the vehicle for Sam’s defence of Dean WAS wrath, exactly what the demon was aiming for. Sam is sooo out of his depth.  I am the self proclaimed biggest fan of this fic. EPIC WORK!!!!

Author's Response:

Oh, thank you!  You truly know how to inspire a writer and keep me on course.  I feel like you are totally 'getting' what I'm trying to do here and I know it is difficult to read, but so satisfying that the story is accomplishing what I hoped.

It is extrememly hard to have a story this long without any action, hunts. or humor and brotherly bantering that we love so much.  I usually try to mix it up more, but this story demands to be told in this manner and I am so glad you think it is working and that it is still compelling.

I only hope that I continue the momentum to a satisfying conclusion.  Thank you so much for the support.  It is truly appreciated.  Later, B.J.