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Reviews For Mesmerized
Reviewer: fedaykin_here (Signed) · Date: 27/01/13 09:32 PM · On: Chapter 1 Let's Take a Break
I really like how you put the small touches from the show into the show... such as rock, papers and scissors... :-) The characters of Dean and Sam are spot on! Can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter... delicious b/c I know its finish! :-)
Reviewer: auntm (Signed) · Date: 16/04/08 12:45 PM · On: Chapter 9 Having a Devil of a Time!
Great Idea! Loved everything, but, Sam telling the girls that Dean was gay and having a sex-change. If Sam was really sorry for beating Dean up he shouldn't have done that. Otherwise, serious props!
Reviewer: mymuseandi (Signed) · Date: 29/12/07 06:51 AM · On: Chapter 9 Having a Devil of a Time!
Reviewer: elprimouno (Signed) · Date: 06/12/07 08:19 AM · On: Chapter 9 Having a Devil of a Time!
Reviewer: kansasangel (Signed) · Date: 28/11/07 05:44 AM · On: Chapter 9 Having a Devil of a Time!
I thoroughly enjoyed every chapter . great mix of fun and drama . great banter between the boys is always a brilliant idea . you should be really proud , its one of my fav stories ive read . hope you write loads more , you have some great ideas and work them into the story line well . all the best .
Reviewer: kansasangel (Signed) · Date: 28/11/07 05:26 AM · On: Chapter 8 - Save the Cheerleaders !!
great sam moment you rotten thing ! we can never have too much of Bobby either , look forward to more
Reviewer: kansasangel (Signed) · Date: 28/11/07 05:00 AM · On: Chapter 6 Movie Mayhem
Reviewer: kansasangel (Signed) · Date: 28/11/07 04:40 AM · On: Chapter 4 - Headaches
love the banter between the boys . gives a good mixture of fun and drama in your story
Reviewer: kansasangel (Signed) · Date: 27/11/07 07:11 AM · On: Chapter 3 Dinnertime
really great stuff here . cant wait to find out whats going on .
Reviewer: kansasangel (Signed) · Date: 27/11/07 06:55 AM · On: Chapter 1 Let's Take a Break
great start . that was a typical Dean moment you got that brilliantly .
Reviewer: Cookie6 (Signed) · Date: 08/11/07 08:03 AM · On: Chapter 9 Having a Devil of a Time!
Reviewer: Cookie6 (Signed) · Date: 08/11/07 07:04 AM · On: Chapter 8 - Save the Cheerleaders !!
This chapter had me laughing, smiling and catching my breath. I am captivated by this story and your ability to make me see your movie in my head. I see and feel via your words. Yeah, I gotcha your author-back… Control freak Dean at his impatient best, your words “squirming and antsing around like a little kid waiting to be released from the timeout chair” had Dean positively bouncing out the page at us!! I just loved Dean’s comment - “Never hunt alone. Dad sure beat that one into our heads” a wonderful reminder that our boys awesome skills as hunters are the legacy of John being the best at his job – his job as a shrewd hunter and his job as a protective father. And a reveal of how much Dean misses him. Just wonderful! This line was subtle in affirming for us how carefully the bros watch each other - “Sam sat quietly watching to make sure they (Dean’s eyes) stayed closed.”- This scene felt gentle, quiet, personal. For me these lines were the pinnacle of this ch, beautifully crafted to expose Sam’s fragile state– “Tears welled in his eyes as he took in the ravaged face and bandaged injuries… How the hell does he keep putting me first? Oh my God, I tried to stab him through the heart and he still refused to fight fire with fire!! I love him so much, he’s all I’ve got and I almost destroyed him!” no matter how much the boys try and suck it up for each other, from each other, the hurt is just below the surface. This just blew me away. What a moving piece of writing to describe Bobby’s reaction when he first saw Dean – “Injuries were something Bobby dealt with on a regular basis and he was usually unaffected by the severity of wounds, unless those wounds manifested themselves on a Winchester” – beautifully said, Bobby’s deep affection for our boys in a nutshell. Loved this - “Glancing over at the sleeping Dean, Bobby felt his heart catch in his throat” - No wonder, my breath caught too when you listed Dean’s injuries so graphically. You wrote Bobby’s astuteness so well in seeing exactly what had gone down – “ His eyes floated briefly to Sam’s nearly unmarked face and body” without words you let us know that Bobby realised that Dean had refrained from hurting Sam back. And now of course we come to the “wriggling bundles of hyper-hormonal” cheerleaders!!! How delectable that Dean’s “green eyes sparkled” before “he caught hold of Sam’s thin T-shirt and in one powerful yank tore it from Sam’s muscular torso!” What a plan! Loving the view, the scenery is divine!! Add a blush and a ‘deer in the headlights’ look on Sam’s terrified face” and you’ve written an absolute winner!! Dean yelling “Hey, girls!! Come and get it!!” was an absolute hoot, I laughed out! That the one-liner?? “Silence is golden and duct tape is silver” my guess for Zach’s contribution!? Well done Zack! Way with words must be genetic…Heading for the next button with glee…
Reviewer: Cookie6 (Signed) · Date: 07/11/07 03:23 PM · On: Chapter 7 Pulling the plug..
After all the mega action of the previous chapter, here is the perfect debrief for our shattered boys. Your portrayal of Sam’s shock, disbelief and dismay was divine - "God, Dean, did I do this? Oh shit! Did I?” He clawed his hair and backed away from Dean” - his incredibility shone out the page. And this - “Sam scrunched his eyes shut as he realized what HE had tried to do to the one person who loved him more than life itself” Good grief! *sob* so well done my friend, the pen IS mightier than the sword all right coz you sliced me up with that one! You contrasted the boys so well, their reactions, their verbal responses: Sam freaking out – ”Taking in the full extent of Dean's damage, Sam growled in disgust, “How did I only get one cut? For God’s sake, Dean, didn’t you even TRY to defend yourself?” his voice incredulous and strained” and Dean taking control - “Sam. Sam!’’ Dean’s voice had that commanding ’John’ quality to it when necessary. “Sam, beating yourself up is not helping us at all. I need you to get a handle on this. Now.” However you affirmed for us that their different personality types don’t infer with their understanding of each other, the job to be done as both focussed on the hunt. Add to this the humorous reference which emphasised their different perspectives: Dean and the duct tape, Sam and the pens, both waving them around with flourish and enthusiasm, both admiring and smirking at the other, yet both vital tools to the strategy. Excellent work here Jude - a giggle and ‘ah ha’ moment! Just loved this line - “Sammy, I did what I had to do to get us both through this one.” – your link to Dean’s thoughts as he raced back to Sam in the previous ch, that he would endeavour not to hurt Sam and his planning of how to actually do this. Clever, makes your story cohesive. I also like how you had Dean recognise Sam’s ingenuity with his sock sleeve and protective symbols, admiring his clever thinking, proud big brother *sigh* And I just like this line, caught my attention: “What can I say, man, it was me or the bag. For a few minutes you liked the bag better.” Dean shrugged” - Dean being flippant. And this was just beautiful, says it all – “…the fact John had entrusted Dean with not only Sam but also the Black Beauty was central to who Dean actually was.”Loving your work Girl!!
Reviewer: Cookie6 (Signed) · Date: 06/11/07 05:56 AM · On: Chapter 6 Movie Mayhem
This is the chapter of the century! Of your entire incredible story, this chapter is the most powerful, the most emotional charged. You had me holding my breath with anticipation. This chapter was jam packed full of animated, in-your-face description that threw us into the front row seats and pinned us there – “punching the gas pedal all the way to the floor of his metal monster, Dean heard the huge 385 horses roar to life, felt the thrust as the big car surged ahead with all the power the big motor could muster” – an example of your finest, just an awesome piece of writing that left no doubt as to the gravity of Dean’s need to get back. I drove “white-knuckled” (very cool!) with him the whole way. Dean’s thoughts flip-flopping from scared big brother to strategic hunter was incredible. I loved Dean’s internal dialogue about his hands, fantastic analogy. This sentence, Dean’s prediction of what he knew he was about to face was haunting: “…those same two hands that could very soon be responsible for hurting the little brother he was sworn to protect with his very life…” and then…“Dean was certain of one thing and one thing only, to win this fight, if indeed there was one, he would have to render Sam totally unconscious to save them both” Again my heart was ripped out for Dean. And what a fight scene! Each hunter using precision moves, Sam offensive, Dean defensive, both with accuracy and intent. This was an outstanding description, a living movie in my head. *standing ovation* And that moment of Dean’s total devastation was pinpointed here with your poignant words - “Sam, please, for God's—… Sam…Sam, it’s me, man. Don’t do this …Please, Sammy, don’t do this...” – not of his fear for himself, but for the unresponsive Sam, the Sam he knew could never do this, the Sam he knew would be heartbroken. This is the second time Dean has begged for his life from someone he loves more than life itself, from family that he protects, cherishes. A.W.E.S.O.M.E
Reviewer: Cookie6 (Signed) · Date: 05/11/07 02:57 PM · On: Chapter 5 Caught Napping !
Oh no, I hope Sammy watched a G rated movie! Come on Sam, your hunter ears pick up the ladies chatter but not the evilness behind the laugh?? Boy you sure did give him one hell of a hangover Jude!!! All your pieces are fitting together nicely, both for Dean and us readers. What a clever, original story angle. Another spectacular death written in spectacular detail to read like the real horror it is. *puke* I loved how you had Dean cut Sammy some slack and not pay out on him. Opposite in fact, the nurturing big brother emerged with compassion. Again you highlighted their understanding of each other just at the right moment- “After so many months and so many miles back together again, Dean was able to cover the argument popping into Sam’s head without his verbalizing” ….and in complete sync, Sam’s echo – “ Smiling at Dean being able to read his thoughts”. Just lovely! Dean affectionately referring to Sam as “Tiger” as a reflection of not-so-tough was a nice touch using a nickname and situation we recognise. As was your reminder of Sam’s clown phobia – and yeah, McClown IS creepy!Your depiction of Dean’s realisation of the game (and boy can you pick the movies!! *chill*) and subsequent panic over Sam was dramatic – “Dean’s brain screamed. His breath caught painfully in his chest. He could hear the thudding of his own heart Frantically, he shoved the key in the ignition, slamming the car into gear, tires squealing as he tore away from the curb´- exciting, nerve-racking, you left us absolutely hanging!!In Frank’s words: “Oh dude, awesome ride”!!
Reviewer: Cookie6 (Signed) · Date: 04/11/07 06:16 AM · On: Chapter 4 - Headaches
The whole focus on morning flexing, flat bellies, six pack abs, ravenous appetites, honed muscles, freakishly high metabolisms, long tangled limbs and growling body parts – Jeez Jude, you’re killing us in slow motion. If the words aren’t enough to push our buttons, you wrap them in clever sentences which turn them into Winchester imagery - “he slowly lathered up his muscular limbs, chest and belly. Smoothing more of the soap over the tight muscles of his flanks”…Hunt? There’s a hunt? OK, I’m concentrating now…
Reviewer: Cookie6 (Signed) · Date: 04/11/07 04:24 AM · On: Chapter 3 Dinnertime
How sweet and gorgeous is your Billy Lee Billings? I was smitten. But as I read of course, I just knew that “bad” was imminent for our perfect-marriage-couple, you made it too good to be true. And then we read further and find out he can cook, he buys flowers, he’s organised in kitchen, *sigh* oh no Jude’s got evil on her mind … I loved the easy banter between our boys, relaxed, comfortable, AND kicking backi n a classy restaurant. Your standout line was Dean reminiscing about good times with his Dad – “Dean chuckled, smiling boyishly at a memory only he could see” – just a lovely phrasing to describe a happy place. And speaking of clever writing “demonic tenant” very cool! Sam’s “I swear to God, Dean, if they could find a way to deep fry lettuce, I might get you to eat salads!” was a classic, what a hoot! Soo Sam AND soo Dean in one creative sentence. Bravo for the Winchester fix for this chapter. But let’s serious here. That murder scene was one of the most horrific, graphic, cold-blooded, cold-hearted descriptions EVER!! *shudder* … author's intent achieved with 100% accuracy – we’re all freaked out!!
Reviewer: Cookie6 (Signed) · Date: 04/11/07 02:51 AM · On: Chapter 2 A Haunting We Will Go
OMG, frozen to the spot! I was expecting something scary but eyeballs!!! I'm still trying to slow my heartbeat - that visual is horrible, gruesome! So great work on the huge shock factor - it worked!Just loved Dean lovingly looking after his car and Sam's acknowledgement that "she's part of the team" your words consolidating what all of fandom knows! Dean freaking out about the thought of driving his sparkling baby on the dirt road made me smile - love that intense, passionate nature of his. Sam's ease to deal with Dean's reaction was superbly written, showing us the reality of their closeness.And boy, could we FEEL their boredom and restlessness - you did a great job in creating that slow atmosphere - while over at the bait shop the house of horrors was going down.
Reviewer: Cookie6 (Signed) · Date: 03/11/07 08:25 PM · On: Chapter 1 Let's Take a Break
Am I allowed to review twice?? I have come back to your incredible story and to get my bearings I re-read ch1 and although I sure meant what I said in my review, I don’t think I did you or your story justice. So with your permission I’m gunna double dip (no Double-Mint pun intended!!):Your account of the hunt as your opening was riveting – straight into the action and an eye full of Winchester insync.. I just loved how you had the boys reading each others faces, utterances and responding instinctively to keep each other safe. Your words -“Rock and a hard place, eh, Sammy? Do your stuff, man, I got your back.” - had me in the palm of your hand cos I so love Dean at his wisecracking best – especially when it’s also part of his mask to suck up his fear that Sam was in danger. Sam’s reflections to lament Dean always putting himself in the line of fire as a deliberate choice to keep Sam out of it was brilliantly written – my tummy clenched with Sam’s.Just loved Dean and his Tonka toy, testosterone and petrol a lethal mix guanteed to surface the little boy – and we all know how high Dean’s ‘play’ factor is!!Your description of Dylan’s demise was chilling and I paid more attention this time. Feels like our boys are heading for a world of trouble. This was beautifully written to portray immense sadness as well, as you covertly let us know he was part of a loving family, so it was evil at its worst. Awesome work, especially as this was your first chappie fic. You are nailing it. Heading for the next button with enthusiasm but trepitation…
Reviewer: Cookie6 (Signed) · Date: 26/10/07 10:17 AM · On: Chapter 1 Let's Take a Break
Reviewer: Kumaproogey (Signed) · Date: 18/10/07 03:24 PM · On: Chapter 9 Having a Devil of a Time!
Reviewer: darthwriter (Signed) · Date: 15/10/07 09:32 PM · On: Chapter 9 Having a Devil of a Time!
What an awesome ending, Jude. I just finished this a few minutes after i emailed you, and i just have to say I was really impressed with how you ended this marvelous story. The DVD's flying out at the boys was priceless. Too many great moments to write in such a small space, but well done! Kari
Reviewer: Little_angel_666 (Signed) · Date: 14/10/07 11:18 AM · On: Chapter 1 Let's Take a Break
Reviewer: bayre (Signed) · Date: 16/09/07 04:45 PM · On: Chapter 4 - Headaches
Hehehee...I'm hungry now. Great chapter!
Reviewer: bayre (Signed) · Date: 06/09/07 11:24 AM · On: Chapter 3 Dinnertime
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