I'm so glad you took this on.  I know there are a lot of tags out there but I can't get enough.  So many possiblities!   I love the direction you are taking this and I so look forward to more.

Banner is way awesome!

The floods are so scary and I had hoped after watching Katrina to never see that again.  I'm so sorry your region has faced that.  I'm so happy to hear your house is okay. (hugs)

Take care, Claudia

Author's Response:

Hey, Claudia,

OMG, you're reading a WIP! LOL. 

Thanks for that. Oh, gosh, there was an avalanche of tags, wasn't there? Some good, some exceptional, some....meh....I hadn't even thought about doing one actually, until Oceane emailed me. Then once the plot bunny started biting me on the heels, that was the end of me.

Really glad you're enjoying it. And yes, even though the banner gave Chris a hard time, she did an awesome job on it - it's conveyed perfectly what the story is about. 

It has been scary, watching the river rise and become an unstoppable torrent of heaving brown water and huge chunks of debris. Boats, pontoons, trees, bits of the river walkway, garden furniture, all sorts of things whizzing down like torpedoes. And flowing up stormwater drains and through streets...it was horrible. Never thought I'd see it again in my lifetime - this time I think was worse than 1974, just for the amount of towns affected, even though the actual river level didn't reach the '74 heights. 

Nature can be terrifying.

Jules

Awesome start to this two-shot Jules.  How I wish they would incorporate this into an episode *sigh*, but know they will skirt round the angst and emotional issues.  Thank goodness for authors like you.

Inspired to write this from Sam, Dean and Bobby's POV, it gives such a complete picture of what all three are going through.  And Sam's limited speech, unable to form normal sentences, adjusting to what he has been through and getting his soul back.  And Dean and Bobby telling us how it is from their perspective.  

Totally understandable that Sam would build himself a small panic room from the cot, shielding himself as he tries to work out what is going on.  And Dean could only be the one to get through to his little brother, let him touch him and tend to his wounds.  Progress indeed to get Sam to say he wants to sleep, rather than the uncoordinated words he's been using, but still a long way to go - for all of them.

Absolutely loved how you used Pink Floyd's The Wall, one of my fave's from my teenage years, and it fit the story perfectly, not only because Death erected a wall to keep the memories from Sam but because the lyrics fit so well.

Can't wait for next week and part two!

So glad you weren't flooded out sis, but heartbreaking to see the devastation that unfolded before you.

Sarah

Author's Response:

Hey, sis,

Hmm, from that clip Sabine sent through, perhaps they won't completely skirt the issue. That scene looks mighty angsty to me....

It sort of just came to me that it would work better from each man's POV, and each man advancing the story just a little bit farther. So we get Dean's thoughts and actions continuing after Sam's bit, then Bobby's continuing after Dean's, etc. Took a bit of juggling, but I think it worked. 

Chris and I went for a drive out to Dayboro today, and I got pics of where the North Pine River tore through, both along Samford Road and down at Young's Crossing. Will send them to you - the debris was actually higher than the car's roof....on the bridge.....

Jules

 

Oh Jules, this, this was incredible and I have tears in my eyes as I'm writing this. The three voices make it so heartbreaking. Well, I should start in the beginning, I guess. Pink Floyd? Pure genius to use the Wall. And Sammy's thoughts, wow, talk about jumbled and confused and scared and emotional. All of it together without real borders, completely heartbreaking.

Dean, so awesome, his doubts, guilt, but especially this lovingly teasing thoughts about it being typical for Sam to make a production out of waking up. And he does everything he can to help Sammy. And the complete devastation, when he sees no recognition in his brother's eyes.

Bobby, gruffy like always, very matter of factly, yet all loving daddy. Concern for both of his boys, fear and recognition that if Sam isn't coming back as Sam, there will be no Dean either. The tough decision that Sam needs to be alone. That there are to many impressions that overwhelm him and keep him from finding his way back, if there is a way. I can see how much he hates to be the one to  do all this, but that he knows he has to be that it's for the best. Love the guy.

Sam, wow, you are awesome how you show how his brain works and how much he has been through. All he knows is pain, fear, cold, he can't remember the words for warmth, happy, peace, they are gone from his vocabulary, just like a language you learned as a little child and haven't spoken since then. So he has no other way to express than no or not-cold and so on. He knows he's been in a horrible place, but the wall keeps him from remembering and he still doesn't know where he is now, just that he isn't there anymore. 

Dean, so desperate to go to Sam, yet understanding that Bobby is right and yet his brotherly instinct just wants to ignore reason, because he needs to know. I just want to hug him and hold him and I'm right there with him pacing and out of his mind. And I can see him run down to the panic room before his mind completely comprehend the words Bobby said about Sam hanging himself with the bed sheet.

Again Bobby, just as out of his mind as Dean, knowing his boy so well that he understands everything he says without words. his doubts about his own motives, so tortured about trying to do the right thing. I think you got real inside in who Bobby is. And following Dean, seeing him open the door, finding Sam bend the cot (wow, I know the guy is strong, but that shows his desperation) and Dean telling him Sam is sleeping, what a relieve - it's the real Sam, but yet not - still don't know if the wall works.

Sam, he is working his way back. Just a little less jumbled, a little bit more memory of what's real. Again you demonstrate how much the kid went through. Although he doesn't remember, the damage was done and now he has to go back and access the blocked pathways of the brain that haven't been accessed in what, a year and a half earth time, maybe 150 years of hell? Not easy, but he is doing it, because Dean is making him feel not cold, not hurt, not scared. He sees wet eyes, comfort and feels like he can not-wake and safely recognize who this person is - Dean.

And Dean, to see this to hear his brother, to see him inch closer. I can see his heart jump with joy and hope. You are relating his emotions with such incredible clearness, I can almost touch them.  There is real pain there, when Sam withdraws as soon as Bobby starts speaking and relief, when their surrogate father understands and even finishes his sentence. The dust in his eyes, when Sam curls his hand around his and pure unadulterated joy when he hear Sam say his name.But it's definitely the dust in this room. Well, my house has to be filled with a dust storm right now.

I adore Bobby, he understands the relationship between the boys so well. He is right, Sam's first word has to have been 'Dean'. And it is again. The big shock, when he thinks Sam wants not to wake up again, wants to be dead and realizes that Dean thinks the same. Fear and devastation right there. Too much to be quiet any longer and with Dean's permission he has to ask. Sam feels not cold, not hurt, he wants to not wake, asks for permission to not wake. And Bobby watches how Dean gets it and makes Sam say what he really wants, to sleep.

Yes, progress indeed, but how far will it go? I think you will answer this next week. And I still don't know how to do your story justice. There is just no way to say with words what needs to be said about it. It is simply beyond words, at least for me. The emotions you evoked here almost overwhelmed me. You made them so clear, I saw this play out like an episode, saw everything expressed on the faces of our incredible Jensen, Jared and Jim. I don't have an award for you, no Oscar, Golden Globe or any others, but let me just give you what I have, my loyalty as a reader and a friend. Thank you for letting me be part of your fantastic make believe world. Hugs, Vonnie

Author's Response:

Wow. Just. Wow.

I think you've just stolen Petra's crown for my longest review - lol. 

You know, I love how you get this. I love how you've analysed each man's thoughts and feelings at each stage of the story, really thinking about what was going on both on the surface and beneath. 

I can't do justice to the honour you've done me in giving me this review. All I can say is that I treasure every word, and I'm thrilled that you GET it. 

huge, huge hugs

Jules

Oh awesome.  I love messed up Sam.  Can't wait to see next week's installment.

 

Sylvia

Author's Response:

Hi, Sylvia, and thank you so much for reviewing. 

I went with the theory that Sam's mind has to somehow catch up with the physical transition, and after about 150 years of hell-time in the cage being tortured, he wouldn't exactly be able to string a sentence together, much less realise at first that he was safe. 

Only by experiencing the absence of things his soul had gotten used to - cold, pain, hurt, fear, never being able to sleep - could he orient himself to the fact that he's no longer where he was.

Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy the next chapter.

Jules

Awesome job Jules. I almost cried  when Sam turned his hand over and curled his fingers around Deans. Beautifully done. I hope the show does it as much justice as you have.

hope the rain finally eases up for you guys. Catch you next week.

Deb

Author's Response:

Hey, Deb!

YES! THE SUN'S BEEN OUT FOR THE WHOLE WEEK!!!!! Oh, my gosh, it's actually been fine since the weekend, the water's going down right, left and centre, there was only a little flooding with the king tides, and Brisbane is starting to recover. 

Awww, I made you cry? Almost? *hands over tissue - one of the special soft ones with lavender*... I tried to imagine the disorientation that Sam might feel, being abruptly pulled from the cage and dropped unceremoniously into Bobby's panic room. Even if his brain didn't remember, his body would still have memory of endless torture, cold and darkness, and his thought patterns would be a little off. 

Well, that's my theory - lol. And by the looks of that spoiler clip one of the girls sent through today, Sam might just be in for a rough ride.

Thanks hun. More angst in chapter 2!

Jules