Reviewer: Swellison (Signed) · Date: 01/10/11 07:10 PM · On: Rebirth
Wow, B.J. These drabbles are dazzling, and so deserving of Best Drabble. You cover a complex range of feelings and get deep into Sam's head--and other's. Bes,t of all, this is a collection of drabbles that don't 'feel' like drabbles; with the extremely limited word count, nuances and description can easily go by the wayside, here, they are in abundance. Great job and congratulations! Sue
Author's Response: Thanks, Sue, your kind words mean so much! Congrats on your double win! I find drabbles very constricting and yet liberating. I tend towards wordy at times so it is a hardship to contain all I want to say, and yet they force you to focus on the bare essentials. It makes it challenging and fun, and figuring out Sam's condition before we knew what the writers had in mind was really fascinating. Thanks again and take care, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 19/01/11 08:33 PM · On: Survival
*aaaaachooooooooooo......sniffle* Damn drabbles - really get up my nose...worse than dust.... Hey! Ooh, that hit the nail right on the head - Soulless Sam at his coldly logical best....or should I say worst? Just the facts - his survival versus Bobby's. And like a true hunter/predator, he chose his own, and Bobby became prey. And that very chilling "I suppose it's sad that he has to die." So detached, so un-Sammy, it really is like looking at two different people, which is how RoboSam thinks of himself now. Old Sam, and the new, "improved" Sam. No soul, no baggage, no messy angst making him second-guess himself. He's become The Terminator. I sorely miss Sammy. And I wonder, too, how much RoboSam's actions will haunt Bobby, especially once the 'real' Sam comes back. Their relationship was never as close as Bobby's bond with Dean - will this put a further strain on it? Really looking forward to Death's take - well, your take on Death's take - lol. I love Death as a character too. He is the absolute best of all four Horsemen. And the most frightening. I actually love how Dean is cowed by Death, given the fact that not even Lucifer made him back down. Death is the only supernatural entity that Dean has ever been truly afraid of - and hell's bells, I can't blame him. And I think my heart is going to be a bit fractured (possibly a lot fractured) when you put up Dean's bit, too. Because I think we both know what he was considering after he and Bobby got RoboSam locked down. *sniffles*....oh, those boys.... Jules
Author's Response: When Mystery Spot aired and Sam lost Dean on that Wednesday, I saw the Terminator in Jared's portrayal of devastated Sam. I said then that if he wanted to do a remake, that was the one. He perfected the robotic detached Sam then and we saw him in all his scary, most ruthlessly wrongness here, when he coldly went about sacrificing Bobby so he could remain soulless. Very interesting point about how Bobby will react to all this. He loves Sam and he understands, but he came this close to being that sacrificial lamb and Bobby is no saint. That's got to breed some anger. I can't wait to see how Sam deals with all he's done. And to see that smile on Dean's face when he knows he's got his brother back. And a hug, dammit, I want a real, proper hug!
I so love that Death can put Dean back on his heels. And it is funny because Dean has never been afraid of dying and yet he knows the power of this being and he is cowered by him, even as he back talks and challenges him. Yep, the next chapter's title pretty much tells all. I'm just so relieved that Dean found a way to stuff that soul back into his brother. And I can't wait for Sam to thank him for it, because the real Sam is going to be appalled with RoboSam's actions and so very thankful that Dean fixed him. Later, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 14/01/11 05:31 AM · On: Compass, Due Soulth
Interesting philosophical question - did RoboSam die when Sammy's soul was restored? And how freaky was it to hear Sam talk about his old self as though it was a different person entirely? Saying to Bobby that Dean was willing to kill him - RoboSam - to get his little brother back. But I think Dean did the only thing he could under the circumstances. It was either risk destruction by putting Sam's soul back, or keep RoboSam locked up....or incapacitate him - permanently. I'm pretty sure Dean was considering that last resort while he still had Death's ring. Not because he stopped loving his brother, but because leaving soulless Sam to roam free was like leaving a loaded weapon lying around - an innocent was bound to die as a result. And I think if it had come to that decision, Dean would have been gutted, but he would have done it. *sniffle*..... Jules
Author's Response: I look at it like the old Star Trek episode where Kirk is split into two men, one ruthless and primal, the other meek and sensitive. A man needs both halves to make the whole. Replicant Sam is Sam without that one critical piece, his soul. My next chapter deals rather severely with what Dean was thinking after Sam tried to kill Bobby. As hard as it would be, he couldn't let this Sam continue to roam the earth, wreaking havoc wherever he went. And this wasn't 'his' Sam, this was a rabid dog that was out of his mind, unable to react as the real Sam would. I agree, it would have gutted Dean, but with his new enlightenment, about deals and consequences, about doing the hard job even when your heart breaks...yeah, he would have done what he had to do to save Sam, just like Sam had to save Madison by killing her. Their lives are unbelievably harsh and unforgiving, but they are heroes doing right, in spite of the pain it brings. Such a complex issue on a CW show...who'da thunk? Us, of course, but then the critics and TPTB don't seem to think of us as anything other than rabid fangirls drooling over the hot hunks. Oh, we can most certainly do that, but there is so much more there, enough to keep us captivated for six years now with more to come. Hot guys wouldn't have held that passion, not without the riveting characters and storylines. Thanks again, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 14/01/11 05:27 AM · On: Cost/Benefit Analysis
Yep, Dean is dead right about that. Especially knowing what we know now. Having said that, even before Crowley, Cass and Meg put in their two cents' worth, I don't think Dean did a very good job of selling just how important having a soul was. He focussed on some pretty negative points, and sort of let himself down rather badly as a salesman. Sam was looking at it from a purely logical point of view, whereas Dean attacked it from an emotional standpoint - which didn't work on someone who can't access emotions. So Sam changing his mind? Yep, saw that one coming, unfortunately. Jules
Author's Response: Oh, yes...A soul means suffering. Dean, really? Yes, it made for a cute, comical exchange, but no, it did nothing to convince a reluctant Sam to take that plunge. Maybe that's Dean's honesty showing thru again? Dean does agonize and is tormented because he cares, so logically it might be easier to just get rid of the bloody thing, but humans need their souls to feel. It is the core of who they are. I'm just glad that Dean was sure enough of his convictions to press on and force that soul down Sam's gullet. It may have gone against 'this' Sam's wishes, but we know the real Sam would have gladly taken the risk. If nothing else, and there are many reasons why real Sam would want his soul back, one compelling reason is so he could again 'feel' for Dean like a brother should. To never feel that love again would be a terrible travesty. Later, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 14/01/11 05:24 AM · On: Hindsight
I think Bobby loved them both as well, but I sort of feel that Sam might have kept his distance a bit from Bobby. Not because he didn't care about the man, but because I think Sam - our old Sam - never really felt comfortable around anyone but his brother. I think Sam sometimes is on the outside looking in, even at Stanford. He had friends, but his real life was safely hidden, so he was living a lie, basically, not letting anyone see the true Sam. Probably wrong, but that's just something I felt while watching Sam interact with people. He hangs back a lot. Well...he used to.... A lot of people were angry with Bobby for taking Sam's side against Dean, as they saw it. But I think Bobby honestly did want Dean out of the life and having a normal life, and as you said, he just wanted the dying to stop. I know Dean probably saw it as a betrayal, but I could understand Bobby's side of things. Jules
Author's Response: I too could understand Bobby's love for Dean even if I thought his actions were wrong. But he defended it by explaining how much he wanted for Dean and he particularly was sick of watching the boys die. Understandable and forgivable in my book based solely on how much I know he loves Dean. I think he and Dean have a special bond, forged thru love and based in mutual respect and need.
I think you are spot on with your assessment of Sam. irismay42 was just pointing out to me that Dean has always been more honest and truthful, how even when he tried to keep a secret or not say something, his eyes betrayed him. It did about kill Dean to keep John's secret about Sam and even then, he finally had to let it out. But Sam has always kept himself a secret, lying to Jess, hiding who he was, what he feared. He kept so many secrets about himself from Dean, long before the demon blood and Ruby and his special powers. And like Dean said in PONR, Sam was always the one running away, hiding who he was, trying to fit in and pretend he was something he wasn't. Such complicated men our Winchesters are and don't we love it! Take care, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 14/01/11 05:19 AM · On: Pieces of the Past
I really loved Cass' point of view. Especially when he touched on all the reasons the boys do what they do - why they fight. That hit the nail right on the head. Actually someone mentioned in a discussion somewhere - might even have been a SH girl - that they could see a brief flash of sympathy or sorrow on Cass' face after Sam tricked and then threatened him at the start of 6.10, when he realised just how empty and dysfunctional Sam is without his soul. I missed it, but I could believe the observation. Ah, these boys break your heart.... Jules
Author's Response: They certainly do break our hearts! And I love Cas' perspective on Sam. How he wants to keep his friend safe by not risking re-souling him, and yet, he plainly sees that this Sam isn't all right. I love to see that flicker of compassion in him, and I think he does care for both brothers, even if he has a hard time reconciling his conflicting thoughts. Dean 'feels' the emptiness in Sam while Cas analyzes it, not quite able to fully comprehend...but not as unfeeling as Sam. Isn't that an interesting development? The angel feels more than the human! B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 14/01/11 05:16 AM · On: Sleep Patterns
That's a really interesting question. He may hunt evil, but he's not good. That's the crux of the matter right there. And that's why Sam needs his soul back. It's like a moral brake on what otherwise is an animal. I wonder if there were moments when Dean hated the shell that was left of his brother? And I don't mean when he punched the crap out of Sam at the end of the Veritas episode. But I wonder if he looked at the soulless body after knowing what the problem was, and...hated? Jules
Author's Response: Oh, very interesting thought there, Jules. I wouldn't be surprised if Dean did hate, not Sam per se, but the thought that this was all there was. That the real Sam was gone. That loss had to be intolerable, one of the reasons he told Sam to just stop talking that time, it just hurts too much to be confronted with the knowledge that Sam isn't home. Oye, these boys! Thanks again, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 14/01/11 05:12 AM · On: Sam, I Am
I've always believed it's our souls that make us human, as opposed to the animals (although one would swear some of them are little humans in fur coats with four legs). And it's being played out for Sam in that way - stripped of his basic humanity in the essence of morality, compassion, empathy and ability to love. And yes, I'm in total agreement with you on the Winchester boys. No matter what's been thrown at them, there is always that core of compassion and the need to do the right thing that burns bright even in the darkest hours. And they've had some pretty dark hours.... I think you've hit the right note with this one though - Sam being practical. So, I need my soul? All right - let's get it back then. The decision is a purely logistical one, like realising you need bullets for a gun so you can take down the big bad. Almost makes me shiver...how cold he is... Jules
Author's Response: Sam is cold and impersonal and robotic now, and it has got to be torture for Dean to see him this way. I totally agree on a soul differentiating us from animals. But yes, my black lab definitely has a soul, and those soulful puppy dog eyes that Sam also exhibits at times. Sam's practical approach to hunting does make him strong and fierce, but it is Dean's heart that makes him the best hunter IMHO. Sam thinks having a soul is a distraction, when in fact it helps them focus on what truly matters...people. It ain't about the killing, Sam, it's about saving people, doing good. Gotta have a soul to see the difference. Later, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 14/01/11 05:07 AM · On: Hollow Man
So sad. Hey, hun, I'm still out here somewhere. Feeling pretty bloody shell-shocked, if you'll excuse my French, after what's happened in my home city and state over this last week or two, and needing to escape for a few minutes. Trust me to pick this one to come back to...*sigh*.... The last line was so very sad, but so true - RoboSam is cut off from everything that makes him who he really is - that makes him human. He's just going through the motions, a pale imitation of the real Sam. I think I'm sad for Dean, but gutted for the real Sam who is still at this point down in the cage undergoing unspeakable torment. Distressed for both of them. Jules (still allergic to drabbles...)
Author's Response: Hey, Jules! So sorry to hear about all the flooding, it does make one wonder if the Apocalypse is nigh with all these strange weather systems hitting so hard. Hang in there. I think I'm most sad for Dean, seeing his brother like this. Sam doesn't feel any problem. But I hadn't thought about the 'real' Sam still suffering in Hell. That's such an abstract concept when we have his body out. Yep, both boys are suffering unimaginably. Thanks for taking the allergy meds and wading into my drabbles. Later, B.J.
Reviewer: Pandora Jazz (Signed) · Date: 09/01/11 02:35 AM · On: Cost/Benefit Analysis
Thanks for reminding me that I could find your next update over here. I can understand why Sam has decided not to try and get his soul back, but this current roboSam can't continue with his current actions. You did a great job of capturing Sam's thoughts. Thanks again for sharing your stories with us. Take care.
Author's Response: Hey! FF is still a bit wonky. On one of my forays there Ch. 12 was gone, just like you said. Makes me afraid to post another story or chapter. I love that this site allows banners. DALDOS makes me such pretties for my stories! I do think it is perfectly understandable why Sam doesn't want to risk putting that damaged soul back into his body. He's perfectly fine the way he is...or so he thinks. I love that Dean is so certain and we know how much Dean loves Sam, but to see him like this, to know what he is capable of...Well, I have an upcoming chapter from Dean's POV that is really heartbreaking. Sam needs his soul and without it, bad things will happen. Thanks for taking the time to track down this chapter. Later, B.J.
Reviewer: leslie92708 (Signed) · Date: 01/01/11 01:46 AM · On: Sleep Patterns
WOW! Very good insight into both Sam and Dean's thoughts! very interesting! thanks!
Author's Response: Thank you! I never wrote drabbles before, tending toward more long and involved stories, but I am really liking how, especially with this issue, I can condense down a character's thoughts to 100 words and still convey something. I don't have a lot of time now for my writing and these drabbles allow me a creative outlet without demanding the long hours of writing I usually maintain. I'm just glad that others seem to be enjoying them and that my message can still get out. Take care, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 21/11/10 08:32 PM · On: Trust Issues
Hun, I'm going to hang onto your faithful coat-tails, if that's all right. This poor battered Pollyanna needs a bit of hope, especially lately. I'll still keep watching, because I'm loyal to Show and the boys, but oh, gosh, it's like watching a train-wreck......just can't look away but feeling horrified that it's happening. But even though I got a jolt thinking that Sam had actually ditched Dean at first, right up till he slid into the Impala in his usual shotgun position (and in my defence, Dean was just as surprised as I was....), I felt a little bit of hope blossoming too, at the fact that Sam still knows on a purely intellectual level that his best chance is with Dean - that he needs to be by his brother's side. And I'm hoping that Crowley's wrong...that Sam wouldn't really sell Dean for the price of a can of soft drink..... It will be interesting though, to see if some of that stubborn Winchester pride starts to surface in Sam as Dean continues to call the shots. We saw a tiny little glimpse of - was that frustration? - in the beginning of the last episode, just before the 'freakin' puppet' got into the car. Hmm......more stirring times ahead. Jules
Author's Response: Hey, Jules! You know the writers have to continue to torment the boys and the fans. I think it is written into their contracts by the ultimate fiend, Kripke! I will always believe in the brothers, they have been through too much together to ever truly drift apart or fall apart. So I am loving this new dynamic, how it makes their relationship new again. Of course, I don't believe Crowley and his potshot at Sam...at least, I hope it's not true. I want to believe that Sam deep down knows Dean and knows their true connection, on an intellectual level but beyond that. He may not 'feel' it, but being around Dean he's got to 'know' it. I need to believe that Dean inspires that loyalty out of his brother. And of course, I don't know where the story is going, how much of my theories will hold up and when they will shock me again. Sam watching Dean get turned sure was a shocker...but I love that about Show, they dare to go there. Take care, B.J.
Reviewer: saltnburnem (Signed) · Date: 15/11/10 10:42 PM · On: Wrong Turn
Yes. Sammy IS wrong. It's gotta kill Dean that he really did lose his brother. What he's received back.....just not right:(
Author's Response: Yes, just one more test for the brothers' relationship. I am finding this new dynamic interesting, seeing how they communicate when Sam isn't feeling it. It will make it all the sweeter when they do get the real Sammy back. I want to see those grins again, that joy of being truly back together as our brothers should be. Thanks for the read, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 09/11/10 08:32 PM · On: Wrong Turn
Those boys are breaking my heart - and probably lots of other peoples' as well. I'd love to get a peek at what the writers are up to. Not all that happy with what they're doing to the brothers this season - thought they were supposed to be putting the boys back together? *unhappy sigh* This was a very sad introspection, especially Dean's "Our lives are violent...brutal." That they are. And with no end in sight, either. I'm hoping Dean can find a clue as to who really has Sam's soul, and get it back. Which is going to be an interesting situation - how much will the soul remember from its year outside the body? And how scarred will it be? Oh, boys.....*sniffle*... Jules
Author's Response: Hey, Jules! I thought Dean's reflections to Veritas were so devastatingly candid. They do lead violent lives and are forced to do brutal things...but still, I think Dean especially always holds on to his humanity. I don't know how he does it, or for how long he can continue, but it's one of the many reasons I love the character so. Oh, that is a fascinating thought, what the soul will remember. I still think it would be cool if it wasn't 'just' his soul, but the manifestation of his soul in a duplicate Sam. Great acting opportunity for Jared and then also Jensen in reacting to the situation. I still hold on to my Pollyanna outlook that no matter what the evil writers put them thru, the brothers will persevere. How could they not? Later, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 02/11/10 09:33 PM · On: Confessions
I'm really struggling with the end of the last eppy. My poor Pollyanna soul was horrified, both at the ending and what seems to be the aftermath. And my heart bleeds not only for the fractured Winchesters, but for the fractured fandom as well. I'm hoping Dean will stay, and not just put a bullet between Sam's eyes, but I have to say, the way things stand at the moment, I'm grieving for that broken bond, and doubting that it can ever be repaired. They're farther apart now than they ever were. *sad sigh* I feel like hiding under a very large rock until Sera Gamble puts them back together...... Jules
Author's Response: Sera is just as evil as Kripke I fear and she is doing a great job of making it look hopeless, but my Pollyanna soul will always believe in Sam and Dean's bond. They will conquer this divide, I am certain of it. Now, the fans? That I am not so sure of. I hate how a combustible episode, powerful and shocking seems to turn the fandom into a powderkeg. Myself, I love shocking and what a way to end an episode! And I love seeing extreme Dean, wrong and yet understandable and sympathetic. I love all the flavors of Dean and I only hope they never tame him totally. Jensen gives us the nuance to make even the harshest actions forgivable. At least for this Dean gal. And while Sam has done some reprehensible things here, he too is forgivable because if he isn't all there, then he can't be held accountable. And that isn't just white-washing his actions, it is looking at the whole and loving those gray areas where there is no set right and wrong. I totally love the complexity of Supernatural, even when it does drive the fans mad. I'm staying in my own little world, writing on my stories and not venturing out much until the boys are back together. Happy writing in the meantime and I hope to see you around. I do love talking with passionate fans who just love the boys, both of 'em. - B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 02/11/10 09:30 PM · On: Bitter Truths
What's his problem....the Sam of old would have gone off his tits over the whole 'setting Dean up as bait' thing. Probably would have slammed the new Sam through a wall a few times to make his point clear. I wonder if all these memories from the last year will rip that vitally important missing piece to shreds when it is finally found and restored to its rightful place. I'm hoping Dean's going to help, because things don't look all that good right about now. Ju...*ATCHOOOO*...sorry....told you I was allergic to drabbles.... Jules
Author's Response: I have to believe that Dean will help, move mountains to find Sam's soul, once he knows that this is truly Sam. I think he is half convinced it still isn't Sam. One early theory I had was Sam was split in two, ala Kirk on the old Star Trek. Then we could get a little mano a mano with sensitive, caring Sam confronted with ruthless, fierce Sam. That would have been cool, forging the two halves of Sam back together to get the whole that is Dean's brother back. I really appreciate you risking a full scale epidemic by reading my drabbles. It would be quite the honor to put the great Jules in bed for the proper recuperation period. Altho I think your readers would be cursing me. Huggles and some warm tea, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 02/11/10 09:25 PM · On: Still Waters
134 words - promising, promising - only another thousand and it could have been a chapter....just, you know, saying...*whistles innocently while scratching and sneezing*..... Great reflection on Sam's state of mind that he doesn't know if he's drowning or just beginning to live again. Oh, Sam... I can imagine that when this very important missing piece is found and reintegrated, things are going to get very messy. He may want to drown after that... Jules
Author's Response: LOL Yes, this is where writing drabbles is frustrating. When you know what you want to say, sometimes you just can't trim it any further! I only wish that Sam felt he was beginning to live again, but I think this is pretty hopeful considering what the show has given us. Still, it has to be coming, right? I foresee Sam going thru a world of hurt when he realizes what he's done. And we only know what he's done concerning Dean, who knows what else he might have to answer for. Oh, the angst is going off the charts this season. I need a hug...a Winchester hug, right now! Later, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 02/11/10 09:21 PM · On: Running on Empty
Something is missing, all right - something that makes Sam Sammy - something vital. Loved that Sam in this recognised that Dean's not like the Campbells and that it feels better having him there. Some shreds of our Sammy remaining behind after his ordeal and puzzling rescue. Sad though, that Dean's - "We keep each other human" is just a concept to Sam now, rather than a heartfelt conviction. What are they doing to our boys? Jules....*scratching at mysterious rash*....
Author's Response: Yes, it is so interesting that Sam seems to have some sense memory, that he and Dean belong together, but it is all analytical, no emotional core holding him to his brother. I'm hoping when that last barrier is breached, when Sam at last feels, that it will be an epic moment between the bros. That would make all this worth it. And we need it soon! Thanks again, B.J.
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 02/11/10 09:18 PM · On: Inside Man
I'm with you, BJ - who is this Sam, and where is the real one? I loved Sam's new kickarse attitude in the first episode, but hell's bells, I've struggled with it since then. Especially after episode five...... And gah!!! You made me read a drabble!!!! Everyone knows I'm allergic to these things!!! I'm going to break out in horrible spots or rashes, or sneeze uncontrollably or something...I just know it.... "I'm on the inside looking out," is a great way to describe Sam as he is now. And sad, when for so long I felt that the Sam of old was on the outside looking in.... Jules
Author's Response: Sorry, Jules! Here's a kleenix and some cough syrup, maybe a little salve for that rash. LOL For the longest amount of time I didn't understand what a drabble even was, much less could limit my verbose writing to 100 words. Necessity precipitated my fall, no time and it is somewhat freeing to just let a small idea stay small. Just another part of the learning curve. Yes, Sam has shocked and saddened us this season but I'm hoping we will get some real answers and a light soon. Thanks for stepping down into the trenches and reading. Sorry to be such a bad influence, *grins* B.J.
Reviewer: Legion (Signed) · Date: 31/10/10 01:18 PM · On: Bitter Truths
Very nice!
Author's Response: Thanks, much appreciated. Take care, B.J.
Reviewer: penmin (Signed) · Date: 27/10/10 03:25 PM · On: Inside Man
I also think Sam's there but not there, it was so chilling when he smiled when Dean was in trouble! Nice one. Jacq
Author's Response: Thanks, Jacq! Yes, I cannot wait until we find out what is wrong with Sam. The good news is Dean saw and now he knows! It's gonna be good. B.J.
Reviewer: supernatfem76 (Signed) · Date: 27/10/10 05:51 AM · On: Inside Man
I liked your speculation on what may going on in Sam's head. I want 'our Sam' back too but I am clueless as to what could be the cause of his new behavior. Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks, glad you enjoyed. This drabble is almost like an alien or angel is inhabiting his body and I honestly don't believe that is the case. It was just fun to approach it from that angle. I have a theory, but I guess we'll find out on Friday! At least Dean knows for sure now that Sam ain't right, that's half the battle. Take care, B.J.
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