Supernaturalville
Reviews For A forgotten Hunt
Reviewer: Kumaproogey (Signed) · Date: 22/09/07 05:59 PM · On: In the End

You have good story idea. The story felt  rushed though.  In 3 chapters it went from Dean to being possessed, to Sam being possessed to Dean stabbing Dean & then Sam being released from the hospital.  It made it a little hard to follow. You have a good writing style & from what I saw you write the relationship between the brothers pretty well.  You just need to fill it out more (not enough substance).  Also I had no idea where the doctor came into play – there was no backstory there, I was confused.  I don't want to come across as rude, but I stopped reading this story after about 7 chapters because I wasn't sure what was going on, it seemed kind of jumpy to me, also the lack of backstory & substance made it somewhat difficult to read.  Also, some of the dialogue didn't seem real at all.  Maybe I stopped too early.  I think you have a real talent, it just needs to be developed more. 

Reviewer: Impala (Signed) · Date: 12/09/07 01:31 AM · On: Caught Pants Down

Woah this was really well described, I could distinctly see Sam on the floor..and I really like the dialogue its believable and doesn't seemed forced.

About to read more :)

Reviewer: Impala (Signed) · Date: 12/09/07 01:23 AM · On: The accident

Oh my gosh, Intense.

I love it!

Reviewer: bonnie (Signed) · Date: 06/09/07 02:18 PM · On: The accident

WOW! This opening is great it tingled all my sense's. As if I where to be a witness to it.

Author's Response:

Im responding to everything here

  • there's not much info out there on Puloman unless you have The KEy of Solomon which the internet has not allowed me to possess
  • I am going between msn and this when im typing it, this confuses me alot as i ahve 2 switch between dialects
  • i have keyboard dyslexia.
  • i am glad everyone likes it
  • the latest chapter was being written during my computers class at school and i didnt have the patience to save it

Thanks for your support!!!

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 06/09/07 09:18 AM · On: In the End

Oops!  Your chapter ends in the middle of a sentence.  Did something happen during posting?  I want to read it!!

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 06/09/07 09:17 AM · On: Dream The Dilemma, One Will Happen Then.

Yay!  More Puloman!  I think that storyline is very interesting!  Did he have an unnatural attraction to his daughter?  Why was he so jealous of her love for Indra?

You might want to run your stories by a beta, just to polish up the technical stuff.  I noticed sometimes you use the number 2 instead of the word "to" or the letter u instead of the word "you."  Probably because you're writing quickly to get your thoughts down.  I do that sometimes, too.  I'd be happy to help you, if you want me to do it.

Love the part about reverse deja vu!  So funny!

You captured Dean's smart-alec attitude well!

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 06/09/07 09:06 AM · On: A Whole Lotta Research

I wish there was more about the relationship between Puloman, Indrani and Indra.  It sounds like a tangled story. 

Good chapter!

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 06/09/07 09:03 AM · On: Dickheads and Doctors

Very curious about the Indian woman and her part in all this.

Just the Winchester luck!  A room full of people and Sam gets taken hostage.  Oh well, first rule: take out the biggest person in the room and the rest will cooperate.  Good job!

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 06/09/07 08:51 AM · On: Drunk under the table

"Higher powers with their panties in a knot"---what a great line! 

I like switching back from past to present to reveal the story.  Good tool! 

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 06/09/07 08:46 AM · On: A Pain in the ass

Good banter between the boys.  It's nice to see they're almost back to normal---well, their normal.

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 06/09/07 08:42 AM · On: Back to the beginning

Good to see inside Dean's head.  He and Sam don't ususally argue over nothing, at least he's aware of his mood.  Thanks for explaining why they're so tense and cross with one another.

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 06/09/07 08:38 AM · On: Think... Remember...

Hmmm...interesting chapter!  Eager to see it unfold!

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 31/08/07 02:54 PM · On: An Orderly Visit

I like beginning with the falshback/nightmare.  This story has some good twists!

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 31/08/07 02:48 PM · On: Caught Pants Down

666 NIghtshade Inn---witty!  Amusing chapter.

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 31/08/07 02:44 PM · On: Aftermath

Hmmm....now I'm curious and eager to read more.

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 31/08/07 02:39 PM · On: The accident

Wow!  Go for the throat right fromthe beginning---love it!

Reviewer: fireball10 (Signed) · Date: 26/06/07 02:27 AM · On: Dickheads and Doctors

hurry with the next chapter nice job

Reviewer: blue_sweetie1978 (Signed) · Date: 20/06/07 01:44 PM · On: The accident

hey really great job

Reviewer: juliea (Signed) · Date: 13/06/07 05:58 AM · On: Caught Pants Down

i iam enjoying this story so far. 

Reviewer: bambers2 (Signed) · Date: 07/06/07 08:39 AM · On: A Pain in the ass

very interesting, can't wait to see where all of this leads too!! keep up the good work!!! bambers;)

Reviewer: supernatfem76 (Signed) · Date: 06/06/07 06:40 PM · On: Back to the beginning

I am not feeling this chapter.  It does not flow well from the previous chapter.  I will stick with your story.  I like it so far.

Reviewer: merashari (Signed) · Date: 03/06/07 08:01 PM · On: An Orderly Visit

So far so good. Damn I love that Dean Winchester guy so much!!! Can't wait to see where you take us!

Reviewer: bopeep (Signed) · Date: 28/05/07 09:52 PM · On: Caught Pants Down

i really loved this chapter! it being so short i didnt realize it was going to be this good! in this little paragraph,it had angst, humor, (even a rat, HA!)and a very big cliffhanger at the end to keep us wanting more, so please dont torture us much and upd8 asap!  thanx!:)   

Reviewer: aripagetx_uk (Signed) · Date: 28/05/07 09:36 PM · On: Caught Pants Down

got me hooked... what is going on?... will stay tuned

Reviewer: stanfordchick (Signed) · Date: 28/05/07 08:53 PM · On: Caught Pants Down

ohh gooooooddddd keep em comin im readin!!!!!!!!!!

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