Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed) · Date: 30/07/09 09:11 AM · On: Missouri Moseley, Kansas, November 1983
Great fic, i loved the death echo idea, well done.
Author's Response: Hi Lindsay Thank you, glad you liked! Cheers Mary x
Reviewer: bhoney (Signed) · Date: 22/07/09 11:29 PM · On: Missouri Moseley, Kansas, November 1983
Great idea, to have Missouri experience the whole thing as a kind of echo of the traumatic event. Very nicely done. And then to find poor Dean there, for real, wondering if she's seen it, too. So sad, to think of him witnessing the loop when he must already be haunted by it so much. Cool that you had John and Dean in the echo, too, even though they didn't die in the fire. Really ingenius idea.
Author's Response: Hi there Thanks, she was the one that I really wanted to write, did this one first and worked the others from it. Dean seeing things because he was a child - I was thinking of Lucas in DINTW as I wrote that little bit, wondering if that was why Dean connected so strongly with him. As for John and Dean, Missouri being psychic gave me a little license to do that, thought that she would pick up on the feelings and it would let her see them. CHeers Mary x
Reviewer: bhoney (Signed) · Date: 22/07/09 11:23 PM · On: Dean Winchester, Kansas, 2005
Oh, poor Dean!! He's breaking my heart!
Author's Response: Hi Thanks, Mary x
Reviewer: bhoney (Signed) · Date: 22/07/09 11:20 PM · On: YED, Kansas, 1983
I really like this. Very strong writing. I love that you had YED thinking about seeing Dean in the past, and about what he said to him there, and considering killing him to remove the threat. Glad Mary unknowingly saved him that night, too.
Author's Response: HI there Thank you so much. I loved writing the YED's POV the most and I had to include Dean's visit back in time into it - never thought about it as Mary getting to save at least one of her sons that night, but I see that now, so thanks for that. Cheers Mary x
Reviewer: Swellison (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 11:35 PM · On: Missouri Moseley, Kansas, November 1983
Hi again, Mary, Missouri makes a great point of view for this, since she can see so much more than the average person. Having Mary's spirit trapped in a death echo is a neat idea. And poor little Dean at the end, wrapped in silence, trying to understand the impossible. Sue
Author's Response: Hi Sue Thanks, I did Missouri's first and worked the others from there. She was an outside looking in view that you could still put right in the middle of it, I liked that idea. The death echo was a little last minute thought but it seemed fitting. Dean seeing it at the end, and Missouri letting him know it was real was another little last minute addition but I think it gave closure to the piece. Cheers Mary x
Reviewer: Swellison (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 11:26 PM · On: Dean Winchester, Kansas, 2005
Hi Mary, Really good portrayal of young Dean, it just feels right. "I know that nothing will be all right again." Sniff. Sue
Author's Response: HI Sue Thanks, this was the one that I wasn't sure about so I am glad that you think it is ok. Poor Dean, he knew even then that everything was going to change. Thanks, Mary x
Reviewer: Swellison (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 11:19 PM · On: YED, Kansas, 1983
Hi Mary, Nice portrayal of the YED's point of view, like that you added a visit to Dean to the his itenerary that night, it fits. Very creepy thought that the YED was watching from the shadows, making sure that Sammy made it outside all right. Sue
Author's Response: HI Sue Thanks, I liked that one the best, had to have him visit Dean and reflect on what 'future boy' told him. And yes he would have to make sure that his favourite got out in one piece, wouldn't he. CHeers Mary x
Reviewer: Primrose (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 11:01 PM · On: Missouri Moseley, Kansas, November 1983
Ah! Missouri is a surprise! I love it. I liked it that Azazel went into Dean's room first. *shudder* Great job!
Author's Response: HI there She was the one POV I really wanted to write. When I thought of doing the YED the scene from ITB popped into my head and I knew that I had to use it, had to have him visit Dean first. Thanks, Mary x
Reviewer: cowgirlfromhell (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 10:37 PM · On: Missouri Moseley, Kansas, November 1983
This was so good! And you thought of Missouri. A stroke of genius. You brought a lot to the table. Great job and thanks for sharing.
Author's Response: HI Thanks. Yeah Missouri was the first one that I wrote but I changed it round to start with the YED. Glad you liked, Mary x
Reviewer: rbliss1969 (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 08:35 PM · On: Missouri Moseley, Kansas, November 1983
Mary, Missouri chapter gave me goose bumps on my arms. i could picture every scene in my head. when you see it though Missouri's eyes if becomes so real. great job Renee
Author's Response: Hi there Thanks. Glad you liked Missouri, it was very real through her eyes, she was the one outside looking in. CHeers Mary x
Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 08:01 PM · On: Missouri Moseley, Kansas, November 1983
Oooh! Shivers! When Dean silently asks Missouri if she's seen the horror of his life, I wanted to cry. And then she answers him and they hold onto one another as they leave. Sooooo beautiful! I love how you describe the aura surrounding the house and how Missouri is able to tangilby feel it. Your descriptions of it are marvelous!
Author's Response: I had to have little Dean there at the end watching it, it seemed right somehow. Glad you liked the descriptions, I think I rewrote that part about 100 times to get it to read the way I wanted it too. Cheers Mary x
Reviewer: Rae666 (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 07:59 PM · On: Missouri Moseley, Kansas, November 1983
Awesome choice of a POV! And the loop? poor Mary. Great descriptive :D Loved it.
Author's Response: Hi I had to put the death loop in, I couldn't resist Missouri seeing that the trauma had left Mary stuck, especially as she was still there years later when the boys came back to help Jenny. Thanks, Mary x
Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 07:54 PM · On: Dean Winchester, Kansas, 2005
"Probably my last, peaceful, happy sleep." How terribly sad! "Dad is here. Dad will know what to do." "That’s when it hits me and I start to move forward. My whole family is in that room. And that room is burning. I am alone out here. I want to be with them. I pray to God not to let me be left alone. I promise that I will be a good boy if he doesn’t take my family from me and leave me behind." How tragically sad! I can just imagine that's what a small child would think. "For the first time my father has let me hold the baby on my own. The enormity of his trust in me weights me." "...mindful of the precious burden that I carry." "...pulling Dad away, trying to take my brother from me. I don’t let them. Dad entrusted Sam to me, he’s my responsibility. They can’t have him. I won’t let them take him from me." This is where we see Dean's resolve to protect Sam begin. You use such strong words to impress the importance of it to us. Another section I loved was when we see how Dean began to bottle up his emotions. "I comfort my strangely silent brother and, taking my cue from him, I try not to cry." This night not only changed the Winchester family but drastically altered a four year old boy, setting him on the path to the man he would become. You point that out very clearly to us. An amazing work!
Author's Response: Hi Get the feeling that you liked this one! *smiles* Yeah, this was the moment that defined who Dean would become, the (over) protective big brother and the suffer in silence man. Glad you saw what I was trying to achieve with this one, thanks Mary xx
Reviewer: Rae666 (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 07:51 PM · On: Dean Winchester, Kansas, 2005
Awww! Awesome, very awesome. I love how ever at that age, Dean took it to be his responsibility to look after Sam and that he wouldn't let anyone else have him - so perfect.
Author's Response: Hi again I wanted to show that this is were it started, Dean's need to protect and shelter his little brother, glad you liked, Mary x
Reviewer: Rae666 (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 07:45 PM · On: YED, Kansas, 1983
Awesome POV! I love how the YED reflects upon the past and what Dean said to him. So very awesome indeed :D Love it!
Author's Response: HI Rae Yeah he had to have a little look see at Dean, didn't he? It means a lot that you liked this, thanks, Mary xx
Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 07:43 PM · On: YED, Kansas, 1983
Fabulous chapter! I especially like the detour Azazel takes into Dean's bedroom and his thoughts there. "her taste proving that her beauty is more than just skin deep." Wicked good! Gave me a shiver.
Author's Response: HI there Thanks, After ITB I just thought that he'd want to see Dean, the threat to his plan. Glad I could make you shiver, means I'm doing something right! CHeers Mary xx
Reviewer: Jenn (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 07:25 PM · On: Missouri Moseley, Kansas, November 1983
I really loved this. The POVs were great, they just seemed to go together. And your writing is very powerful, smudge. Especially YED. I think he was my favorite of yours. Referencing to In The Beginning was an awesome idea. There are a TON of lines I want to take out and show to you, but it would be like making you read your story all over again LOL! I will give you this one though: They can’t have him. I won’t let them take him from me. Oh man, that is the most Dean-ish thought ever! Fantastic job, smudge, I'm so happy to have read this!
Author's Response: Hi Jenn Thanks. I loved the YED the best too, it just seemed to flow as I wrote it. The referencing to ITB was just begging to be put into that night, I don't think he could have resisted a look see at the boy that was to grow up and kill him. Yeah and Dean was giving his brother to take care of that night so I could see him, even then, not letting anyone take him from him. Thanks again, Mary x
Reviewer: Tree66 (Signed) · Date: 20/07/09 07:20 PM · On: YED, Kansas, 1983
mary Gotta tell you- this was one of my front-runners as well.. (I had a few of them- lol) Well- done and great POVS.... love it hun!
Author's Response: Hi Tree Thank you so much, that means a lot. Glad you enjoyed it, Mary xx
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