Reviewer: lillelouis (Signed) · Date: 28/07/09 11:32 AM · On: Chapter 4
I just pushed you in my own bossy way. The words were all yours. Love the last part :)
Author's Response: Awwww, you're great! Thank you so much for this!!!
Reviewer: moira4eku (Signed) · Date: 27/07/09 05:50 PM · On: Chapter 4
Hmmm...very interesting. Hopefully Dean will be feeling much better, and Sam is really into "they were just criminals" mindset. Dean seems to be enthralled with their story.I love how you have added the Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid into your story. I'm really interested in reading how you are going to incorporate it into the tale. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for taking the time!!! And yes, you are sooo right - feeling better, check; Sam pissed at the criminals, check; much much more of Butch and Sundance, check. And I promise - most of it is true ;-)
Reviewer: lillelouis (Signed) · Date: 18/07/09 05:05 PM · On: Chapter 3
Heheeee... It's really good! I love how it's turning out. You have a nack for placing people's identities very quickly with a couple of lines. Very nice!
Author's Response: Oh wow! Thank you so much for your reviews! These are very kind words and I will take them to heart! I can't believe you just offered help making this story better and boy will I take advantage of this... I'll pm you!
Reviewer: lillelouis (Signed) · Date: 18/07/09 04:58 PM · On: Chapter 2
Ok first of: I LOVE that you found a plausible excuse to write "assless hospital gown" and I LOVE the prayer, halleluja! and the Amen! to finish. Your writing is like listening to someone relaying information really really fast. Like a machinegun and guess what - I WORKS! It feels like we're actually inside Dean's head (I've always had a sneaking suspicion his mind works like a supercomputer - a very ignorant and horny supercomputer, but still - going a thousand miles and hour) VERY PROMISING. Definitely worth the time. Great job!
Reviewer: lillelouis (Signed) · Date: 18/07/09 04:48 PM · On: Chapter 1
Ok.... So first of: I like your style of writing. The mistakes that are, are just little type-O's. Nothing with the way you write or how you tell the story. All you really need is someone to look it over and fix the odd word here and there. What I am really liking is that you're writing style seems abstract, disconnected or strange almost. At first I (afraid so) had no idea what was happening or had happened, but it worked. Now I'm guessing Dean got reckless again and came dangerously close to dying or something equally horrifying...? I like how we see Sam's anger from Dean's point of view. How he almost seems a little loopy in his narrating. Nice touch :P I'd love to help you with this if you want it or need it? So far I'm seeing a great deal of potential with this story.
Reviewer: moira4eku (Signed) · Date: 12/07/09 09:55 PM · On: Chapter 1
Well, I really like the premise of your story. I just love hurt/Dean and comfort/Sam stories. I found the story very hard to read do to the many words without spaces between them. I had to go and read it twice to figure out what was going on. I really like the plot so far and hope you can find a beta to help with these types of mistakes.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading it despite all the mistakes! It looked okay on the upload - first lesson learned! I hope I fixed them all and promise to check better next time! Thank you very much!!!
|
