Supernaturalville
Reviewer: Swellison (Signed) · Date: 30/04/09 11:55 PM · On: Chapter 1

Hi,

I really liked the last line! This feels like half a story tho, or the epilogue to a previous story. I want to know what happened when the creature took Dean, how Sam and John reacted, how long Dean's been held prisoner, what sort of creature? man? took Dean, and why.

Also, I have no firm idea of how old the boys are in this. You've only left a few clues: Dean's not five, Sam is young enough that John didn't take him along to find Dean, and Dean's dating. So Dean could be anything from twelve on up, to my way of thinking. Really would like to see this story expanded!

Sue 



Author's Response: Thanks for the review.  I had Dean and Sam at a certain age in my head and yes, there will be a sequel/prequel to this at some time in the future (I hope).

Reviewer: kwater (Signed) · Date: 30/04/09 04:00 PM · On: Chapter 1

Very nice, welcome to the site ;) Kel

Author's Response: Thanks for the welcome - it's been fantastic!  And thank you for the comments - I've read your work and coming from you these reviews mean a lot!

Reviewer: penmin (Signed) · Date: 29/04/09 08:38 AM · On: Chapter 1

The action takes place in a short space of time which is great as it makes it fast moving, no messing about, yes it would be good to know why he was there but sometimes the mystery can be intriguing, I have always liked John stories, nice one...Jacq

ps. RoweenaC (Ilka) emailed I should check this story out, it was well worth it.



Author's Response: Thanks Jacq.  John had to get in and out quick and I'm glad I managed to get that over.  

Reviewer: rbliss1969 (Signed) · Date: 28/04/09 08:25 PM · On: Chapter 1

Great job.

i need to know more. 

who took Dean?  how did John find him?

where is Sam?

i hope you decide to write more chapters and make this longer.

Renee



Author's Response:

Thank you Renee.  The majority decision seems to be that a sequel (or prequel or both) is needed for this story so, yes, I will write one eventually.

 

Reviewer: Midge (Signed) · Date: 28/04/09 01:35 PM · On: Chapter 1

Amazing snippet. Now I want to know what else happened in that story. How did Dean end up there? Just how instant was Sam that Dean was in trouble? Who took him? Why did they take him?

You have posed more questions that you have answered. I think you should write more.



Author's Response:

These are all questions that I had answers for when I wrote this originally.  I think there will come a time when I have to share them :)

Thanks for reviewing. 

Reviewer: birdie (Signed) · Date: 28/04/09 01:28 PM · On: Chapter 1

hey Hunny,

RoweenaC  (Ilka) recommended this sweet little fic and I'm pleased she did. I like your John, he's strong, tough even but beneath that he loves his boys. I would like to know who took Dean and why and what happened after though if you feel like writing more.  Nicely done and thanks for sharing.

Birdie (Bev) xx



Author's Response:

Ooh - a recommendation!  Wow!

Thanks so much for your comments.  I love John.  For all his faults he always comes through when it matters.

 

Reviewer: TozaBoma (Signed) · Date: 28/04/09 10:00 AM · On: Chapter 1

Effing ace! Loving this so far - I'm not a hurt!Dean person really but I love a good John - and you do a  good John!

 



Author's Response:

I'm glad you love a good John.  I have a real soft spot for him.  Underneath it all he's just a father struggling to cope with the death of his wife and bringing up two boys.  Okay, so revenge took over his life but at the end of the day he's always, always there for his boys.  I'll always love him for that.

 

Thanks for reviewing - I'm slighty overwhelmed by the response this story has got! 

Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed) · Date: 28/04/09 09:49 AM · On: Chapter 1

Excellent story, poor Dean, what ever did this should run fast before John gets his hands on them.



Author's Response:

Thanks - I think John will be popping up again sometime in the future.  It seems this story is unfinished after all.

 

Reviewer: moira4eku (Signed) · Date: 28/04/09 07:52 AM · On: Chapter 1

Yikes! Poor Dean, someone or something did a number on him. Sure would love to see a back story to this and what happens next to!!!! Excellent story telling!

Author's Response:

Thank you for this - never really considered my story as excellent before (although it is still one of my favourites).

Several people have mentioned a sequel or prequel so I'm sure there will be one at some point in the future. 

Reviewer: Janger (Signed) · Date: 28/04/09 04:21 AM · On: Chapter 1

Wow, a fantastic first story!  Poor Dean, someone had really done a number on him.  Excellent descriptions and very atmospheric.  Any chance of getting the back story to this one - then a nice follow up to see how John deal out a little Winchester style vengeance!! lol

It's nice to see the 'caring dad' side to John, we know he was an obsessive hunter but he was as good a dad as it was possible for him to be...Lovely insight into his thoughts and feelings. 

Thanks for this.  Jane



Author's Response:

I often think John gets the raw end of the deal when he really was trying his best - he just didn't know how to express his love.  Let's face it, he had a rough time but those boys turned out well so he must have done something right!

Thank you for the review - it's very encouraging. 

Reviewer: calUK (Signed) · Date: 28/04/09 02:43 AM · On: Chapter 1

Fantastic scene - you wrote it so vividly I could see/taste/smell it. Loved the frankness of John's thoughts - he painted a bleak picture with an undercurrent of something almost like humour that made it sound so real: 'Alert would be good, but for now he'll settle for open.' And you ticked every box on the hurt!Dean front (see how good I am? Didn't go straight for the pain... lol) - desperate, lonely, battered and bruised - said it before and I'll say it again: we're a sick bunch, but it's fun down here!

Fantastic first fic - can't wait for more!



Author's Response:

I'm so glad you enjoyed it :)  

I love a bit of hurt Dean but I never know if I've got it quite right.   It's good to know it's okay.  Thank you.

Reviewer: CatzEye (Signed) · Date: 28/04/09 01:17 AM · On: Chapter 1

Ooh - I can almost pity the thing that did this to Dean for the wrath John's going to reign down on it -- almost being the key word here-- As really, I can't wait to see something, or someone, pay for this! -- This was excellent, by the way!!

Author's Response:

Hmm - don't feel too sorry for it (or them - hint, hint).  John's fiercely protective of his boys in his own complex way and there will be hell to pay eventually.

Thank you for reading and reviewing:)

Reviewer: RoweenaC (Signed) · Date: 27/04/09 08:30 PM · On: Chapter 1

Hey Jenny! 

Well then. Here's my review. Gotta say this story has all I need to be absolutely satisfied. I love me hurt!Dean, especially shackled and unconscious, dishevelled and bruised.

The way you portray John is just... aw, I hope there were times other than in severe peril that he showed his affection for the boys. But I fear he didn't when I keep in mind how confused Dean always behaves when John shows him his love and the pride he feels for him. *sighs* Aw, the woes of being a Winchester. Dysfunctional and distressed. Yummy.


Before I go into detail with some quotations to show you my emotions and ideas about your ficlet, I wanna comment on your style. Present Tense is tricky. I've tried it. But other than me you excelled at it. It works perfectly with the urgency John feels about leaving the place asap. And it strengthens the short amount of time he spends in the house and his dispair about getting Dean off the chain and to safety. Also, the threat of being attacked is much more palpable in the present tense. It felt like I was watching a flashback on the show... all the time expecting some nasty critter to jump them. Oh, and by the way, what scumbag beat my boy up so badly? *hands on hips, tapping the floor with one foot* I demand retribution! NOW!

OK. Let's start with emo/drool-reviewing then... (This is were I totally lose it. The comments may be a little rambly and overly emotional, but they come from the bottom of my heart and somtimes from my female downstairs brain...!)

He sees Dean – his Dean, his boy – hanging from the ceiling, wrists tightly secured, feet barely touching the floor.   His hands are scraped, knuckles bruised, nails torn.  Whoever took him had a hell of a fight on their hands.  Blood is caked around his wrists where those cruel manacles are digging in oh, so tightly. If ever there was a perfect way to describe my most favorite Dean, this is it! Great, drool-inducing and oh, can I please help him get better? And the way John assesses Dean's condition is so sweetly caring and protective. Very fatherly. An very unlike John. Altho in Shadow we see it in his eyes and in AHBL2. He truly does care about his sons...

Nobody does this to his boy and gets away with it. YAY! *cheers on vengeful!John* Go for it, John. You see that you get your handsome boy out of there and kick the supernatural bastard in its ass! Love his protectiveness. It's a very strong gene in the Winchester gene-pool!


His jacket is on the floor and he’s only wearing a t shirt and jeans.  His clothes are dirty but nothing is torn.  His shoes and socks are gone. I know one of the girls on this site will especially love the bare feet. Heh. *shakes head* But, OMG, what has happened to Dean? Why has he taken his shoes off? Weirdness. This screams for elaboration! Is there a sequel??? *nagnag*


John can’t help reaching out to his boy, his hand gently cupping Dean’s cheek.  He feels reassured that Dean leans ever so slightly into the touch.  OH, gawd. This took my breath away. Heart-breakingly sweet and caring John. And barely conscious Dean reacts to his touch in a way that shows how much he is in pain. Leaning in to a gentle touch, that's a thing Dean only does when he is in real agony... *hugs him and holds him tight so John can -for crying out loud – take him down now* And how sad is this scene? That only if Dean's in pain or mostly passed out and John is worried sick they are able to show each other their care and the desire to be close... (hm. Sounds slightly slashy... sorry... dunno how to express what I wanna say...)


He needs to see those green eyes open. Damn, so do I. Love his eyes. His freckles, lips, eyebrows hair, chest, biceps, the bum (let's not forget that!) and of course those cute bow-legs.... YUMMY.


He jerks his head back, trying to get as far away from John as possible.  Ouch. That must've broken John's heart. Needing his son to be close to him and then Dean jerks away from him! And poor Dean, confused and in obvious distress. Even half-conscious he still has some fight in him! Ain't he just a hero? *daydreams*


The added weight on his shoulders causes him to cry out in pain. UGH. *is worried about Dean* Please, John. Hurry up, this boy needs a hospital! By the way, the scene reminded me a lot of What Is... Had a clear picture of Dean hanging from the rafters, pale and almost dead. Yum. How I love that episode and for so many reasons....


Yeah, it’s me son.  You’re safe now.” He holds his son for as long as he dares again, wonderful caring John, gentle and worried. And the need to hold Dean for as long as possible. *sobs* The need to be close to him, just this one time. John only now allows himself to be emotional. And just about the right time for it. 'coz Dean needs his father now. Dean needs John to be proud of him and to love him all the time. But usually, John acknowledges neither. Thanks for doing this for Dean.*sniff* For once John isn't his drill master. Jeezes. I am making myself cry here. There were many moments in this oneshot when I felt my heart burst with compassion. But these two sentences broke my heart and I am honestly still sobbing.


John feels an inexplicable sense of loss. Aw. *hugs Papa W tight*


The smell of it reinforces his guilt.  too wrapped up in his obsession and now Dean is paying the price for his arrogance. Winchester guilt. Is there anything better than that? OK. There are two things. Winchester angst and Winchester agony. But guilt is fine. And boy, I feel really sorry for John. He always comes across as a harsh SOB. Thanks for showing him in another light. I do hope he was like this sometimes... The boys needed a little love and comfort. Still need that.


All in all, I thank you for sharing and hope to read more of your stuff over here...


Hugs, ~~**RC**~~ aka Ilka



Author's Response:

Wow - talk about long reviews LOL!  Thank you so much. 

 I have a real soft spot for John.  He was this terribly obssessed man who had no idea how to show his love for his boys but I have no doubt it was there.  I'm sorry we didn't get to see it more often but John's overwhelming sense of vengence came with a heavy price for all three Winchesters and in the end it seemed that the only way they knew how to communicate with each was through violence and arguing.  

I could go on with my analysis of the family relationships for hours but perhaps I should just put it in another story!

 I may well do a sequel (or a prequel) to this.  Someone asked for one when I first published it over on FFnet and it may be something I'll do in time. 

 Thanks for reading and for such a great review - they make the world of difference.

JENNY 

Reviewer: Tree66 (Signed) · Date: 27/04/09 06:55 PM · On: Chapter 1

If this was your first- then you started with a bang! I cant wait to read the rest...- glad to see a tender caring John- sometimes thats a rarity.

Author's Response:

I think John's softer side gets overlooked a lot, although he's partly to blame for that himself.  I love the interaction between the Winchesters - it's so complex!

Thanks for reading and reviewing:)

JENNY 

You must login (register) to review.