Reviewer: bhoney (Signed) · Date: 30/06/09 12:51 AM · On: Chapter 3
You killed Bobby!!! *wails* *moans* *sobs* Bobby!! WHY???? *sniffles* At least Sam and Dean were still together then. It would've been terrible if it happened after their split, Dean would've had no one to help him through it. I'm really glad you didn't kill Sam, too. Cuz we'd have needed to have some words. ;) This chapter was just heartbreaking. Loved the little injection of humor here: "So not cool to pee yourself when you're tryin' to impress a hot chick, dude." LOL I like Grace, glad you brought her back to help them out. LOVED how you worked in the meanings of the boys' names, that was awesome. God DID hear!!! Bobby... *wails more*
Author's Response: I know, I know! *whacks self upside the head*... But we saw the spoilers - word to the wise: never trust spoilers - that said a beloved character would die, so we figured that they were going to kill Bobby off and leave the boys alone to face the apocalypse. And then we read another spoiler that said a beloved character would commit suicide at the start of the finale, and we nodded sagely (after biting off every fingernail on our hands and wailing to heaven) and said, "yep, they're gunna kill Bobby"... All spoilers should be salted and burned. Glad you liked the little humour, Beth. We love Dean's total irreverence in the most dire of circumstances. And yes, God did indeed hear Sam. And answered, too. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: bhoney (Signed) · Date: 28/06/09 11:05 PM · On: Chapter 2
Okay, so see, now THIS is why I only read completed stuff. Cuz this chapter would've killed me. ;) Very nice bit of prescience on your part with Ruby wanting to be the one to release Lucifer. This was just heartbreaking: "I trusted you," he whispered raggedly. "I gave up everything - everything - my brother - my life - my humanity..." All for nothing, his mind screamed at him. He couldn't comprehend how he could have been so stupid, so blind. Dean had been right all along, but he hadn't wanted to listen, hadn't wanted to believe that he'd been wrong. Oh, God - Dean - what have I done...." I gotta say--I thought Ruby died too quickly on the show. After all the buildup of the last two years, and especially this year when we've been waiting and waiting for her to get what's coming with her--to have it end so quickly was almost anticlimatic. I like that you didn't make that mistake. It was a very satisfying end for her here. It would've been better if Dean had been there to see it, but still...I really liked your solution. And this: "A warm presence materialised by his side. Sam looked up, his eyes widening in wonder. He was lying in his nursery, his mother's smiling face hovering over him, the soft yellow glow of the half moon lamp on the wall picking out the golden highlights in her long blonde hair. Mary Winchester bent down, brushed the sweat-soaked bangs off her youngest son's forehead and placed a tender kiss just above his right eyebrow. "Goodnight, love," he heard her whisper softly. She threw a brief glance over Sam's head, and he knew without a doubt that if he had the strength to move, he would see his dad standing in the doorway. Closing his eyes, Sam felt his mother's gentle fingers stroking his hair. "Mmo...." "Shh, love. Rest now." Sam sighed, his body going limp as he succumbed to the darkness that called to him in his mother's soft, loving voice. " Wow. So heart-wrenching. I liked that the angels bowed their heads in respect as Dean carried his brother by, and I actually liked Michael, too. Most of all, I LOVED that God answered Sam's final last prayer for help to close the seal. Heartbreaking, but very well-written.
Author's Response: Ooh - that would be bad - we try not to kill off our readers. We don't mind stressing them to the max, but we have to draw the line somewhere... I haven't seen the finale yet - Petra has, though. But I'd have to agree with you - that bitch needed to be tortured for what she did. And I think that Sam would have been feeling just so gutted - it was the ultimate betrayal. So it made sense that when he unleashed that temper of his, she'd be a suitable target. Oh, you liked Sam's little vision of his mother's final moments with him? That was straight from the pilot. And you liked our Arch? Thank you for that. I especially wanted a good Arch, given how Zachariah turned out. And I know that ponce isn't an Arch, but he really left a bad feeling in our stomachs, so we wanted an all-powerful angel that made us happy. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: bia1007 (Signed) · Date: 28/06/09 07:23 AM · On: Chapter 13
You sure were missed, very glad you're back with us and both feeling better! This chapter came as a real bombshell, I was holding my breath more than once during Sam's final confession (and no I didn't guess the secret would be Sam drinking Ruby's blood, so I was as shocked as Dean I guess but it certainly makes perfect sense). I felt for Sam the whole time he confessed, how scared and desperate he was to now lose Dean again and forever but still he couldn't stop, realising "that the bleakness of a life with this secret and all its sordid details separating him from his brother was worse. Sam knew he couldn't live a single minute longer with everything about his secret keeping them the strangers they had become long before these two years had physically separated them" and it makes me love this guy even more, cause it shows the very decent good man he is and that he loves his brother so much he can't lie to him (in tears her again, as always this feels scarily real). I hope with all my heart Dean will see this and forgive Sam and he comes back before Sam can do anything stupid!!! I'd like to end the review with the so hopeful beginning of this chapter as my reminder these two belong to each other and they are going to be brothers again: "The last two days had brought home to Dean just how much he'd missed his brother. And Sam had missed him just as much, he mused, recalling how peaceful the younger man's sleep had become once Dean had settled on the bed beside him in the nearly hours of the morning. They had rarely been apart for most of their lives, and usually when they were, bad crap happened." Nothing to add here, a perfect bottom line of this bond! GRAND WORK!
Author's Response: Aww, thank you for that, Sabine. Oh, you didn't guess? We just felt we had to pay that off - trying to keep as close to canon as we can. And yes, that was tough for Sam to admit what he had been doing, knowing how Dean was going to react. We don't believe Sam is evil. And even though Petra and I are both Dean girls (women), we love Sammy with all our hearts, and we've been so afraid for him this season. We knew Ruby was up to no damned good, and Sam had been completely taken in by her. But we knew, even in Sam's darkest moments, that he wasn't evil - he was just desperately trying to do what he thought he had to. He's obsessive, like John was - just get in, get the job done, and worry about how you had to do it later when the dust settles. As for your little ray of hope - well, have another look at that story banner and that little pic in the top right section..... Oh - might have a little treat for you in chapter 15....*winks*.... Jules & Petra
Reviewer: vonnie836 (Signed) · Date: 27/06/09 02:18 PM · On: Chapter 13
Amazing how sometimes a day starts out full of hope and turns into a total nightmare in a heartbeat. Dean was full of confidence that he could bring his brother back. Show him how he remembered his favorite foods, surprise him with it was going to be the first step, just to find out that Sam actually thought he bailed. After all the talking the night before, he still didn't believe. What a bummer. But the worst is yet to come. Here is Dean, thinking whatever that last secret is, nothing could make him sway in his love and forgiveness for Sam. Now he finds out and all he can think how horrible it is what Sam has done. How he and his dad raised him to know and he did it anyway. And instead of beating his brother, he smashes a chair and walks out, because otherwise he would surely commit murder. And then there is Sam, whose day started out with the knowledge he would confess his last sin. The nightmare of anticipating Dean's reaction is getting him down to the point when he almost shuts off. Yet the nightmare that follows when he finally tells is so much worse. Trying to explain himself shows that he was really hoping beyond hope his brother would understand. When he realizes Dean doesn't, no matter what he says, it blows him away, brings on another headache and he looks at the pills in his hand.... So now they are torn apart again and each has to work through this. Sad thing is that it will have to be Dean to take the first step again. He is the one who has to give forgiveness. I know that he will get there, but I wonder if it will be soon enough. I had an inkling at the beginning that the blood drinking was going to be the secret. Thinking about it, it made sense. What could be so bad in Sam's mind, that he had to hide it and I didn't think you would use something that wasn't canon. I know this is AU but you really stayed as close as possible to canon. Again your characterizations of Dean and Sam were so spot on. Dean's reaction to the demon blood reminded me a lot of 'When the levee breaks', mixed with the hallucination Dean that Sam saw. I'm really looking forward to next week and I'm glad you two are back and better. Hugs, Vonnie
Author's Response: Thanks, Vonnie. Yes, that's true - I experienced it myself at work this week, actually. And it has been a total nightmare, I can assure you... Yes, Dean is in total shock and Sam is sunk in misery - and they're both apart again. The final secret was a pretty big one. Oh, and you did guess? Awesome. Yes, we had to bring that about - even though it's an AU story, we want to stick as close to canon as we can. But at least it's all out in the open now - there are no more secrets. They just have to deal with the aftermath. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: bhoney (Signed) · Date: 27/06/09 02:11 PM · On: Chapter 1
Normally, I don't read stuff this dark. I hate seeing brother against brother, and this chapter was really painful in that regard. But I'm trusting you will bring them back together and it will be worth it in the end. I liked that Sam was beginning to have some doubts/suspicions about Ruby, even if they did come too little, too late: "Somehow Ruby always knew when Sam had had a falling out with his brother. The tall hunter frowned, not liking the uneasy feeling that thought evoked." And this just broke my heart: "Not any more. My brother died at Cold Oak." Although, I disagree with Dean. Sam was still Sam for a lot of season 3. I think Pontiac was really the turning point. In a way, they both died that day. *tear* I know you started writing this way before the end of the series. Some of it is oddly prescient. Nice job. I did figure Ruby was leading him into some kind of trap where he'd be the one actually breaking the last seal, so I'm glad you used that here, too. Nice job!
Author's Response: Thanks, Beth. We don't usually write stuff this dark, actually. But this was one story that was begging - braying, in fact - to be written. It's been a bit of a monster, just quietly - it's put us both through the wringer on occasion. And yes, I agree - Sam was still Sam in S3, but it was a very stressed and grimly determined Sam who could hear the clock ticking in his head just as loudly as Dean could. And yes, they both died that day. Sam was never the same after that dark night. And on the poor kid's birthday, too..... Oh, we're actually a little freaked by how close we have come with some of the stuff. Thank you for that. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: supernaturalfan (Signed) · Date: 27/06/09 12:55 PM · On: Chapter 13
I'm glad both of you are better and are back. I have missed this story and was glad to see the next chapter posted. As usual the wait was hard, but ladies once again you have not disappointed. I did think that Sam drinking the demon blood could be the secret, but since it had not been mentioned in your story so far I wasn't sure. Thank you for all the back story from the time when Dean was in hell and when Sam started again after he came back. Actually this is exactly as I imagined it to have taken place, but both of you giving voice to my thoughts was satisfying. "In that moment, I realised that with you gone, there was no one ever again who I could share anything with, who I would give that level of trust to. She was in the right place and the right time and she knew it. She worked hard to get there, and timed it to perfection."
This broke my heart. I could feel Sam's despair as well as his digust with himself for how Ruby manipulated him. Did I mention how GLAD I am that she's gone? Yep, I'm glad. Thanks for another great chapter. I understand needing some down time, but PLEASE don't do it again. LOL
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Jane. We missed it too, but we really needed that break. Oh, you thought right - the blood was the secret. We didn't mention it earlier, as when the first few chapters were written, The Rapture hadn't been screened, so we didn't know. But once we found out, we realised that was what Ruby had been alluding to in 4.09 and 4.12, so we had to bring that to a close. And we surmised that Dean would pretty much go off his tits when he found out. Just as Sam feared. And yep, we're glad too. When Petra saw the finale, she rang me and crowed triumphantly, "Ding dong, the witch is dead!!" So it was a delight to have Sam tear her apart with the same power she'd been trying to get him to tap into. Poetic justice, we reckon. Don't do it again, eh? We'll try not to, especially as we're in the home stretch now. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: Danni87 (Signed) · Date: 27/06/09 08:38 AM · On: Chapter 13
I've just read this whole thing and wow. I don't think there's a word or phrase in the english language to describe the ride you've taken us on. Can't wait for the next chapter. I hope Sam doesn't do anything stupid. Danni
Author's Response: Awww...thanks Danni. By the way, thanks for sending that dust storm our way! It's blowing a gale up here. You're in SA, aren't you? It came from there, apparently. Or are you in VIC? Can't remember now.... It's been a hell of a ride, hasn't it? It's certainly run us through the wringer a few times. We're going to crack a bottle of red when we post the final chapter, and I intend getting completely shit-faced! Will probably only take one glass - I'm such a Cadbury's! There are a few more little bumps to go before we're finished torturing those poor boys. As for the pills - well..... Jules & Petra
Reviewer: amethyst (Signed) · Date: 26/06/09 10:13 PM · On: Chapter 13
first of all glad you're both feeling better and yes I have definately missed you! absolutely awesome update, I could so feel Sam's fear at telling Dean about drinking demon blood. Dean's anger and revulsion and shock is such a true reaction and so in character. But poor Sam, how low he had to have sunk to have done that in the first place. to have gone against everything he and his family had ever believed in just shows the depth of his dispair and guilt at losing Dean and like most drug dealers, how good a manipulator Ruby was. this is such a well thought out story, can't wait for next week.So please stay well and keep writing!
Author's Response: Thanks for that. Hopefully we won't get blown away tonight by that howling westerly. That last gust shook the house.... Yes, that was a pretty hard blow for Dean in more ways than one, and he needs time to deal with that. And Sam knew his brother would take it hard. But he had been so desperate to save his brother, and he's very much his father's son - get the job done and screw the consequences. And you're absolutely right - Ruby was like a drug dealer, and just as sneaky. I wasn't sure about her in S3, but I hated her in S4. We will do our best not to let any more flu lay us low. Not too many chapters to go now. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: janebear (Signed) · Date: 26/06/09 10:00 PM · On: Chapter 13
Hi ladies, Welcome back, I am hoping that you are both feeling well. Thanks for asking about me in the last review. I am doing ok but it is slow going for me and my poor knee. I am walking on it but it keeps popping and snapping, I am beginning to wonder if I will walk again without limping. My poor dog is so waiting for her walks. LOL Anyway on to our story.... Oh what a chapter, and such a cliffhanger to boot. This truly is a rollercoaster of a chapter!! Again, wonderfully written. I am so feeling so much after this one. I was so feeling the brotherly bond coming out when Dean went to go and get Sam's favorite breakfast. Then running into Ginny (have I said how much I just love her) was so perfect!!! She just brings so much to the story for the boys. I love how she is there for both Sam to help him through the cancer through her personal experience. Then she is also there to help Dean, being able to put this into perspective for him. She is just the perfect balance for those two. I loved how Dean was able to see the brothers in person that Sam kept referring to in his journal. Made this even more real for him. By the time I got to Sam revealing his last secret, (which I should of seen coming lol) I could feel my heart breaking for both Sam and Dean. I could feel Dean's pain and anger because he looked out for his brother all of his life and only wanted the best for him. He felt heart broken when he thought his little brother was used by a demon and anger because he couldn't believe his brother could do this. As for poor Sam (have I ever told you that I am a Sam girl, but guess that isn't really true because I love them both) he thought he was trying the only way possible to get his brother back. Oh his poor heart was so breaking into so many pieces when Dean walked out that door. My heart and tears where right there too!!! What a chapter and what a cliffhanger!!!! Again outstanding writing and talent. So much emtion and angst to be had and felt. I just can't say enough to express at how amazing and outstanding your talent is. This is just a truly amazing story. I know that I have said it before but it so need repeating, I am so hooked to this story. When I read this story I can so feel everything in my heart and can easily lose myself into the story. At times I just so wanted to jump into the mix and hug the boys. Ladies you have just outdone yourselves and have done a truly truly awesome job!!!!!!!!!!!! I am true and hooked fan and will remain so. I will find it very hard to wait until next week for the next chapter!!! But I will gladly wait, gives me something to look forward to!! Thanks so much for your hard work and a truly amazing story!!!!!!!! many many hugs, Jane
Author's Response: Thank you, Jane - it's good to be back. Ouch - that poor knee! Hope it gets better soon. At least you're in summer over there. It's winter down here, and blowing an absolute gale tonight! Yes, that was a pretty evil cliffie, wasn't it? We cooked that one up together. And there's another one at the end of the next chapter, too! LOL! Yep, the brotherly bond was starting to repair itself, then wham! It got torn again by the final secret. Oh, and we're secretly chuffed that we managed to pull the wool over most readers' eyes with the demon blood thing. And you're right - Dean had a hard time coming to grips with what Sam had done. Sam's pretty low right now, and Dean's not that much better. Let's see what the surprise visitor has to say about the brothers torn asunder once more... Jules & Petra
Reviewer: zz1989 (Signed) · Date: 26/06/09 11:32 AM · On: Chapter 13
Another great chapter! I'm looking forward to the next one. Glad you both are feeling better.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for that! We're stoked that you're enjoying it so much. This is one tough puppy! Hope you enjoy the next chapter. We have a little surprise (shock) for Sam....*grins evilly*... Jules & Petra
Reviewer: pinkphoenix1985 (Signed) · Date: 26/06/09 10:30 AM · On: Chapter 13
WOW!! OMG!! WOW!! I usually do a few readings before I get down to writing the review mainly 'cos I want to savor every word, etc but this time no, this is my initial reaction. Guys- I kinda knew that the secret would be the blood drinking but the show numbed me to it especially with Dean's reaction to it in the Show. THIS reaction was much more in keeping with Dean's character in my opinion. It's so painful to read and I love how you have Dean talking to Maybelle and especially Ginny before Sam drops the bomb, kinda like a foreshadowing of the reveal and how Sam expects Dean to react. I know that Dean still loves Sam so much and there's no question that he won't return because he wouldn't be our Dean if he didn't. My heart broke in to tiny little pieces with the the last two lines and I just hope that Dean doesn't come back to find Sam in pain from the cancer yet again. :( As for Sam- I'm one of those who think that before 4.12- Sam wasn't drinking the blood especially when in 4.10 he seemed to be very much against it. Yes, I think that during the hellish four months- Ruby introduced him to it and he probably did drink it on occasion but not enough to become an addict. I liked that you went this way with it because it makes the most sense to me. As for Dean- I hope that with Dean's return that Sam realizes that Dean's there through thick and thin, and even though Dean's rightly pissed and angry, his anger is towards Sam's actions not SAM himself. Will we also get some resolution from Castiel and the rest of the angels? I know that Dean's the important one, but I would like the angels to say something to Sam about the fact that he did good in the end. And you guys have me waiting at the edge of my seat for next Friday! Petra and Jules- I'm so glad to hear that you're both doing better. The flu is a total pain :(( *HUGS*
Author's Response: Woohoo!!!! We wowed and OMG'd you all in one fell swoop! We sort of came back with a bang, didn't we? LOL! Oh, thank you for that! We thought that Dean would just be shocked speechless by that revelation. Petra said she felt there was a lot more going on "off-camera" as it were during that episode - so we didn't get to see the whole of Dean's reaction in the show. But we bet on the inside he was raging. And we agree - we mapped out the timeline and we think that after 4.04 he stopped, only to start up again that night after Jay walked out of the bar, and then only in desperation. We didn't actually touch on whether Sam had become addicted in our story, because the first few chapters were written before The Rapture, so at that time we didn't know he was an addict. So we just surmised that if he had become an addict, it was pretty much burned out of him at Stull, when he got caught in the backwash of his own blast of power and almost died. As for Dean's love for his brother, and that his anger is directed at the actions not the man - well, we'll see in chapter 14. And the resolution from the angels - well, not from Cas. But Sam does get a surprise visitor..... Jules & Petra
Reviewer: ziggy (Signed) · Date: 26/06/09 08:47 AM · On: Chapter 13
Another awesome and mind-blowing chapter girls, well worth the wait, and yes, you were missed!
Had guessed that the last big secret of Sam's would be the drinking of Ruby's demon blood and it was obvious why he was so hesitant to tell his brother, but poor Dean was totally unprepared for that revelation and it shocked and horrified him to his core. Ruby certainly played Sam to perfection in getting him to take that first taste and then there was no going back, he was on his own with Ruby as his only support. Must admit I am a little mad at Dean, after all Sam was understanding when Dean revealed to him what he did in hell, he didn't judge him or berate him at all. They were both at the end of their rope when they made their decisions, right or wrong. But there again, you have to take into account how unprepared Dean was to hear Sam's words. I'm sure that when Dean has had time to mull over what Sam has said he will return, knowing that Sam wouldn't have done it if he hadn't been desperately missing Dean and wanting revenge for the loss of his brother. Unfortunately without Dean's support he was talked into taking the wrong path, tricked into believing he was doing the right thing, and the fact that the hosts survived then proved this. Just hope Dean doesn't take too long in coming back to Sam with the way the younger Winchester is looking at those pills and hope he isn't devastated enough to take them, or take them thinking he will save Dean the job of ending him.
As usual you leave us on the edge of our seats wanting more. Can't wait for chapter 14! Sarah
Author's Response: Thank you sis, and thanks for that record turnaround in beta-ing for us, you little speed-demon, you. Yep, Dean was shocked clear down to his socks when Sam dropped the final secret on him. And all Sam's fears were realised when Dean did a bunk. But Dean was reacting, not thinking. Well, not thinking clearly... As for how long Dean will take - well, he's got a lot to work through. And then there are those tiny little pills....such a lot of pills..... Jules & Petra
Reviewer: Primrose (Signed) · Date: 26/06/09 07:09 AM · On: Chapter 13
Hooray! You're back! With another amazing chapter! It was nice to hear from Sam exactly how he got to drinking Ruby's blood. In the show, he's too busy being giving all the excuses for why he's doing it to fess up to what really happened. I am really hoping he's not going to do something stupid with those pills. By the way, Huckleberry is an outstanding choice- one of my absolute favorite flavors.
Author's Response: Yes, we are! And we're positively evil! Is that good to know? We theorised about how Sam would have started, and what sort of top con job that bitch Ruby would have had to do to get him to even try it, especially given how freaked he was when he found out what Azazel had done to him. All that lovely angst was Petra's little gem - it's her forte, and she really got her teeth into it. The pills - ah, the pills.....*grins evilly*..... Oh, you like huckleberry? You'll have to describe it to us - we haven't a clue what it would taste like. Sounds interesting, though. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed) · Date: 26/06/09 05:14 AM · On: Chapter 13
Glad to hear both of you are feeling better. Wow brilliant, well worth the wait,this story's amazing, such a rollercoaster of emotions. don't think i can stand any more shocks, just kidding lol, i really can't wait for the continuing angst.
Author's Response: Thank you for that. We're both feeling much better, thank you. Don't think you can stand any more shocks, eh? Whoops.....there's a few more coming before we hit the home stretch. LOL. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: pinkphoenix1985 (Signed) · Date: 16/06/09 03:57 PM · On: Chapter 12
First of all- Jules, I hope that you're feeling better *hugs* take all the time you need to recover ;) Finally, the talk!! I loved every second of it! I loved how Dean explained to Sam what actually happened in the Panic Room and how he got Sam to reveal what happened at Stull. I know that there's one more secret between them, but my heart really breaks for Sam. Obviously Dean will be angry when he finds out but I think that Dean will be more mad at Sam keeping secrets from him and Dean most definitely won't do what Sam expects from him- to "kill" Sam and just leave. I hate it that Sam feels like that and that he can't trust in Dean's love for him. The story about how four year old Dean loved to talk to an unborn Sam was such a great touch in addition to the fact that Dean refers to Sam as his kid. My heart was mush when I read that! Continuing with the stories- I love the 'bedtime' story Dean told Sam- it was a wonderful story. Finally, I want to add that I love how you guys portrayed Dean in this part since you've made him grow and become wiser in his dealings with Sam. I loved that he started to bond with Sam over the soup and that he actually tried the soup much to Sam's shock. I liked how he explained about the Panic Room and then afterwards he pushed Sam into revealing what happened at Stull. It really shows how Dean has changed. As for Sam, as much as I love him, I think that he still needs to grow in order to reach where Dean is now. What I'm trying to say is that Sam's stuck in the past as well as his own insecurities and I hope that they won't hold him back because he and Dean need to get back to being brothers and unconsciously, Sam might stop it from happening which I would hate to see happen. Again, Jules I hope that you're feeling better and don't worry about us and the story- take your time :D Petra- I hope that you're also doing okay.
Author's Response: Thank you - I'm feeling much better now. So pleased you loved the boys' little talk - it was a long time coming, wasn't it? And yes, Sam is quite wrong - Dean will be pissed, but he won't kill Sam. But Sam's had this secret crushing him for a long time - his fear has been built on this, and it won't be easy to shake. Yes, Dean has grown - the two years alone without his brother have changed him, and after reading what Sam went through, he's realised that Sam was suffering just as much as he was during the whole angels/demons thing. He's realised just how much they've lost, and how much they do need each other. Sam still has a great deal of fear to work through, but Dean won't let him hide away any longer. He's just going to have to convince Sam that they really are stronger together. Oh, and you liked the bedtime story? Lovely! Thank you! Thanks again for your well-wishes - Petra's actually had the flu, too - there are a lot of bugs going around at the moment. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: bia1007 (Signed) · Date: 14/06/09 02:49 PM · On: Chapter 12
First of all, you both should take a little break, as much as I love this story I don't want you to get sick over it, so be sure everybody understands and we will wait, take good care and come back to us all healthy and rested! I knew I would love the talk between Sam and Dean and oh how I did (actually I saved this chapter up until my holiday began, cause I really wanted to be able to fully savor it, so you have a very happy reader here right now!). Amazing how well Dean knows his little brother and was able to make him talk about his fear considering the extent of Sam's pain and guilt that tore so deep within him and was absolutely harrowing, soul shattering; he lived with this for such a long time, my heart just goes out to him. What follows, first Dean telling Sam how he used to talk to his unborn baby brother and even more his creed "but there was one good thing in all that darkness - I still had you. And you - you needed me. You were so small - so helpless. I promised myself that I'd never let anything happen to you. I wouldn't let anything get you like it got Mom. It was like you became my kid, you know? When Dad put you in my arms the night of the fire, it was like he gave you to me...I couldn't just let you die. Not my kid" (god, I love you voiced this, Sam is truly Dean's brother and child!) was heart touching and more than beautiful, a moment to hold dear and I believe the very centre of this bond! I'm aware there is still a secret between them, but Sam's silent plea to grant him one night, "just one night of him being my brother again" more than anything else showed the depths of his longing to get Dean back. Dean's little goodnight story for Sam (and how apt it was a ghost-story) however gives me confidence things will go well in the end...anxious to find out!!!! (P.S. I haven't forgotten about the eye-hug list, it's still not completely finished and I want to do it properly, but I will send it to you!! Sabine)
Author's Response: Thank you, Sabine. We've been working our butts off on this monster, and it has caused us a fair amount of stress. But we want it to be as perfect as we can get it, so it's been worth the blood and sweat. Ah, you saved this one up! I was wondering where you'd got to - LOL. And yes, no matter what's happened between them, or how long they've been apart, Dean really does know his little brother better than anyone. We worked very hard on that whole scene - I tweaked it endlessly - lost count of how many emails flew back and forth between myself, Petra, and Sarah, our hardworking beta to make sure it was reading right. I knew I wanted to have a huge chick-flick moment, and have been building up to that, but I wanted to do the boys justice at the same time. And after the chapter was finished, I think I just crashed and burned - lol. This emo crap is really hard work... You loved the little firefly story, too? We thought it was a nice little distraction - and one that Dean would willingly give to calm his brother down. He truly does know Sam better than anyone. After all, Sam's his kid to all intents and purposes. Three of our favourite Sam/Dean moments are during Dead Man's Blood, when Dean steps in front of Sam and faces off against John to protect his brother - that was a wonderful moment. If Dean had agreed with John, he would have been facing Sam. We loved that huge streak of protectiveness that even made Dean go against his father, given that John was Dean's hero. The second one was in the cabin at the end of Devil's Trap, when Sam came out and saw Dean holding the gun on a possessed John. It really showed who Sam thought the most of when he just looked from one to the other - and then stepped behind Dean, throwing his support behind his brother. And then, there is that heartbreaking scene in AHBL1, when Dean brushes the hair from a dying Sam's face - such a parent/child gesture and one that never fails to choke us up every time we see it. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: rhesia (Signed) · Date: 10/06/09 05:27 AM · On: Chapter 12
it's awesome story you're writing.. i love the brotherly bond here... it's quite hillarious when i get to this part "Dad's probably sittin' up there, wonderin' when the hell he ended up with daughters instead of sons".. i'm crying and laughing at the same time.. :) *sniff* oh, please somebody give me towels... can't stop my tears yet.. *sniff* oh, and get well soon, Jules..
Author's Response: Welcome! Aww, thank you for that. That's actually what the whole story is about. Oh, we're chuffed that you loved that little humour line of Dean's - typical of him to try to lighten the chick-flick moment. Whoops.....*hands over bunch of towels*....sorry about that.... We have more in the linen cupboard if you need them. And thank you - I am feeling better. Still a bit breathless and achy, but a vast improvement. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: plaidweaver (Signed) · Date: 09/06/09 09:08 AM · On: Chapter 12
WOw ! I have read the whole story so far..it is amazing..you are one talented lady..ok 2 talented ladies..I read Cookies Long Road to and was blown away. I can't wait for the mext chapter..home you get over the cold soon. Hope to see some one give Sam the love he needs too..i so far past needong a womans touch the poor guy. You really have nailed the charaters by the way..would have loved to see this one on TV!!
Author's Response: The Long Hard Road blew me away, too, and I'm not a John fan. So I knew Petra would do an awesome job with Sam's journals, and any other bits I could throw her way. As for Sammy needing a woman's touch - well, you might be pleasantly surprised by the end of the story.....not saying anything, just whistling innocently...... Thank you so much for that - even though the story is AU, we try very hard to make sure the boys always act canon. We can't count the times we've lunged for the DVD's and watched certain scenes to get their reactions, cadence of speech and moves right. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: vonnie836 (Signed) · Date: 06/06/09 11:54 AM · On: Chapter 12
I might be disappointed about the two week wait, but I know about real live. A flu can really knock you around and especially if you have a chronic illness already. So please take care of yourselves. For Jules, get better and for Petra, don't get to stressed out. I liked the "out of your banana", it's funny. Guess every country has its own. In Germany on thing we always said is "He doesn't have all his cups in the cup board right now". I loved this chapter. Dean trying to tell
Sam how things really went and that he never had the intention of killing him, something he reinforced later by telling him that he was just trying to keep him from leaving and that he should have known better than to set him an ultimatum. It is amazing how well Dean knows his brother. You did an awesome job with describing the way how he got Sam to break. Make him mad, alienate him enough so he is no longer in control. At the same time Dean knew the risks and was silently praying it wouldn't make things worse and he would be able to put his brother back together again. Absolutely loved that you used the story of Dean talking to unborn baby Sam. I truly believe that connections are started that way. Sams breakdown and how he finally let out almost everything was amazing. It showed so much how much he carried around with him for those two years. It was awesome to see a usually so impatient Dean being so gently and patient with his brother, even allowing him to not tell him the whole story because he wasn't ready. Usually Dean would have blown up and accused Sam of still not trusting him and still lying. So it was great to see this new patient Dean. Both brothers have grown so much and it is sad to see that Sam is still not believing he deserves forgiveness, otherwise he would tell the last bit also. The end of the chapter was wonderful, how Dean laid down with Sam, telling him a 'bedtime story'. Only the Winchester can go to sleep and feel comforted when hearing a ghost story. The fire flies were awesome though. Overall, again really brilliant chapter. I will wait for the next two weeks and hope that things will get better for both of you. And Jules, lots of rest, fluids and funny tv or stories while you are ill. Take care! Hugs, Vonnie
Author's Response: Hey, Vonnie! Oh, you're right about that. But this flu is rather nasty - it knocked Petra for a six as well, a few days after I caught it. But we're both on the mend - still a little sore and tired, but definitely improving. Oh, you liked the "off your banana" comment? Petra actually had that in an email to me regarding Sam's treatment and his mental state, and I just had to find a spot for it somewhere because it just tickled me no end when I read it. We have a few sayings like that - a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock; a couple of sandwiches short of a picnic; a stubbie short of a six-pack, etc. But the banana one really appealed. So stoked you liked Dean's pushing of Sam to get him to break down - he knows his brother, and knows the walls Sam puts up, so he had to use drastic measures to smash them down. And he knew that he had to handle Sam carefully after that, because he'd be feeling really fragile and vulnerable. There's still a lot of hurt and fear to overcome, especially with that one final secret to be revealed - and it's the biggie.... So glad you liked the little bedtime story, hon. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: janebear (Signed) · Date: 05/06/09 09:37 PM · On: Chapter 12
I send my wishes for Jules to get better fast but take her time to recover. No worries I will gladly wait for the next update no matter how much time may pass. I will give Jules in my heart and thougts. This chapter most definately had all of the brotherly moments that I just crave and love. Again this chapter was just absolutely teriffic. This was just a heart bonding chapter and both Sam and Dean so needed to have this. I glad to see that both are trying to get back on the road to being brothers again. I must admit you have me perplexed. I can't imagine what secrets Sam has left to share. Will be on my mind until the next update. I am just so blown away with how amazing this story has become and how much I looked forward to each update. I am and will always be a huge fan. Thanks again for all the hard work and talent you both put forward into your writing. But please be happy and healthy and take care of yourselves. Many hugs to you both, Jane
Author's Response: Hey! Hope you're feeling better too. We were building the story to this moment - the big chick-flick talk and the aftermath - and the slow healing. And we tweaked endlessly to make it flow properly. Thank heavens for Word, that's all I can say. It allows you to cut, copy, paste, edit, to your hearts' content. I'd hate to do this longhand..... Oh, you can't imagine what the final secret would be? I bet you could, if you think hard....anyway, it will be revealed in the next chapter - and it won't be pretty... Thank you so much, Jane. We're so glad that you're getting such a buzz from the story. It's been a very hard one to write - it's taken a lot out of both of us. But the reactions we're getting make it all worth it. Just to know that we're continually hitting the mark makes the blood and sweat worthwhile. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: supernaturalfan (Signed) · Date: 05/06/09 04:07 PM · On: Chapter 12
Another great chapter ladies!! So much emotion in this one. I love where you are taking the boys. I'm wandering what other secret Sam could possibly have. Look forward to your next chapter in a couple of weeks. I'm sorry to hear that Jules isn't feeling well. I hope she feels better soon. I appreciate that you both want to bring your best work to the fans. This lets me know you care about your writing, and bringing us your best is part of that. Thank you for caring about the fans and what you give to us. See you in a couple of weeks.
Author's Response: Thanks Jane. We're both feeling a lot better. Can't think of the secret? Hmm - should we give you a hint, or just make you wait? LOL. It has to do with something Sam was doing, that Dean didn't know about. And it's big. Thank you for those words. We do care a great deal about the quality of our stories, and we work damned hard to make sure we hit all the marks we want to hit, as well as keeping the boys in character. We feel it would be a grave injustice, not only to our readers but to the Winchesters, to turn out below-standard work. Even if it means putting the story on hold to make sure it's right. We'd rather that, than post something we're not happy with. We're both perfectionists in that way. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: Midge (Signed) · Date: 05/06/09 03:18 PM · On: Chapter 12
Real life is a bitch! Get well real soon Jules. Loved this chapter, worried about Dean pushing Sam to come clean but it worked and they're nearer to be the brothers we love and miss. And I loved Dean's form of bedtime story, wish he'd read me a bedtime story.
Author's Response: Hey, Midge! You guys are ahead of us now - think you've seen the finale by now, haven't you? We've just seen On The Head Of A Pin. And yep, I agree - real life has been a bitch lately. And the flu sucks big time. Yep, Dean had to tread a fine line between pushing hard and not pushing so hard that Sam shut down altogether. But the habit of a lifetime of telling his big brother everything, as opposed to the last few years of keeping secrets, broke through Sam's walls. LOL - we wish he'd come and read us a bedtime story, too. We'd happily curl up between the boys and listen to a ghost tale or two. Jules & Petra
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed) · Date: 05/06/09 09:35 AM · On: Chapter 12
When a story's this brilliant i don't mind waiting,Jules's health is more important,hope she is well again soon. This chapter was outstanding, so much emotion,i'm glad the boys have at last worked some things out, now Sam has just got to tell Dean his secret.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for that. Yes, Sam's got one final secret to reveal, and it's the big one. This is the one that most of his fear has been built around, so it's going to take him a little time to work the courage up to tell Dean. And Dean - well, he's not going to like what he hears..... Jules & Petra
Reviewer: amethyst (Signed) · Date: 05/06/09 07:34 AM · On: Chapter 12
with quality like this, take all the time you need. Jules I hope you feel better soon, catch you in a couple of weeks.
Author's Response: Aww, thanks for that - we're stoked! Especially since we've both been sick with this damned lurgy. How are the bugs on your side of Oz? Hope you like the next chapter - Sam's last secret. Have you guessed what it could be? Jules & Petra
Reviewer: ziggy (Signed) · Date: 05/06/09 07:29 AM · On: Chapter 12
No worries about the two week hiatus, Jules' health is the priority (just hope you stay flu free Petra) and I know how much neither of you would want to post a chapter you were not totally happy with.
What an awesome chapter that was. Finally Dean got Sam to open up and let his emotions out but it wasn't easy , he had to push all Sam's buttons to do it. And not surprised that it brought tears to the elder Winchesters eyes either, the past two years haven't been a walk in the park for him, though Sam did get the short end of the stick.
So Sam has told Dean almost everything - just the one big secret to go, and you can so see how he wants to just enjoy brotherly time with Dean before opening that can of worms. Just hope when he does finally come clean that Dean is understanding as the last thing Sam needs is to lose his brother again, it would just about kill him.
Perfect ending to that chapter, loved Dean's little story about the fireflies and his comment that at twenty-eight Sam still goes out like a light with a bedtime story!
Have a great weekend girls and Jules, have some of Willa's vegetable soup, take it easy and fight that flu off.
Sarah
Author's Response: Hey, sis! Alas, Jack caught the flu and gave it to Petra just days after I caught it from one of the girls at work, so she's been feeling yucky too. Yes, Dean finally pushed Sam enough for him to tell all - well, almost all. The final secret's going to be a hard one for Sam to tell, and for Dean to deal with. Fingers crossed that they've come back far enough to each other to be able to weather the final storm. For as you say, if Dean walks out now, Sam may just not survive. Jules & Petra
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