One of the things that had been slamming in his chest since it happened, fluttering against his heart, making it ache, was suddenly gone.  Sam was still Sam. "I miss her, too," Sam said softly.   "Hey, don't offend the car4, she thinks she's an Impala and I'm not telling her any different."  Dean chuckled and opened the door.  Finally they talk bring their love for the Impala out in the open.  It's been this huge elephant in the room whenever they travel and no one ever addresses it.  And even funnier, is that Sam refers to the Impala as 'her' even though he makes fun of Dean for doing just that. The conversation in the car when Dean feels Sam's eyes staring at him was brilliant.  "You were staring loud.  A smile spread across Sam's face.  "You can't stare loud, Dean."  "Yeah you can, Sammy, and you stare loudest of all."  I laughed with tears in my eyes.  "...and surprise, surprise, Dean was downplaying the injury."  We've seen this so often on the show, Sam getting frustrated with Dean for ignoring serious injuries and Dean plugging along, denying anything is wrong.  This little snippet was so Sam and Dean. "We're still a team, Sam and that's all that matters."  We're still..." Sam began.  Something in his chest snapped, he wasn't sure what it was, but the tears broke loose and he started trembling..."  That was the best thing Dean could have said!  I think Sam's been waiting to see if he had any value but he's been measuring himself by the wrong standard.  he could still hunt, he was still a vital part of team Winchester.  When you describe the scent of cinnamon rolls mixed with Dean's leather jacket, I could smell it myself.  I felt the peace and security that Sam must have felt.  Another little touch that makes you the master.   OMGOMGOMGOMG!  Sam did it!  He stood, walked---all for Dean, all to help his big brother.  and the icing is that he's getting better.  The infections is clearing!  Yahoooo!        

Awww.  I loved this chapter!  it was so hopeful.  Both men just being brothers again and enjoying one another's company.  

Car hops in short pink skirts?  No wonder Dean had to stop.  The kid's meal for Sam was great!  Not only was it a good joke but it was probably all he'd be able to eat anyway. 

I started to review this but had to stop and make supper only to find it had been closed.  GRRRRR!   So hopefully, I'll remeber the key points I wanted to mention.

How sad for Dean to have to see his brother suffer and know that Sam woulod be able to find the cure to save him if only he weren't so depressed.  Time is ticking away and all Dean can do is fight to keep his brother alive long enough to save him, keep him comfortable and keep his spirits up.

And Alan experienced first hand the painful way Sam is going to die.  Now he has to sit back and watch both men suffer.

"He wasn't fighting for himself, he was fighting because of Dean.  He could do that much at least, his brother had given him so much, he could do this.  That way when...At least Dean will know..."  that's always one thing the Winchesters fight for no matter how the odds are stacked against them---one another.  Now maybe Sam will kick this infection in the ass.

An answer?  Yippeee!  

  

a new installment, yipee! who knew sam could make cookies... well, we all knew dean would love to eat said cookies - he does, after all have a sweet tooth. keep it coming, this is one of the few stories i've managed to keep up with during this semester at school and i find myself looking forward to each chapter!

What were Nate and Sam discussing that made Sam decide to fight?  I ,love the end!  "If it ends, we go down fighting?"  "Yeah, Dean, we go down fighting."  Hooray!!  the Winchesters are back!  Watch out world!

Does the color of Nate's car have anything to do with the smoke or the infection or a trigger to solve Sam's problem.

And where is Dean's baby?  Who has it?  How will he get it back?  He mentioned that she'll be well cared for but that's vague and all so sad.

So much happening--events slamming into both boys at the pace of a speeding bullet.  Wonderful tension!  You had me on the edge of my seat the entire time.

Poor Dean, he must have felt so guilty not being able to be the one in control after Sam's attack.  and then he had to show his vulnerability to others---so not cool.  But I loved that his human side came out.  There's so many times that Sam and Dean have courage and fortitude beyond human endurance.  It's nice to see they're still just men with fears, and weaknesses, and no real control of life. 

I feel sorry for Alan, too.  I can't imagine the guilt that he's been carrying around, the drive to heal Sam as redemption for what his wife has done.  Now, when his wife is so close to death, his focus is taken away from her.  I'm sure he wants to be with her every moment.  He seems like a decent man.  You can tell that he has no hesitation in coming to the aid of his friends but you know that deep in his mind, he's counting the minutes remaining in his wife's life.

Dean calling Alan a bastard before he conked out was spot on.  You know he'd be pissed.  and we all know that giving Dean the good meds would be the only way to get him to relax when Sam's in crisis.

Red smoke?!  You pop the surprises in where we least expect them.  Just when I start to think I know where you're going with this, you shoot me a curve.

Dean going to the ER to end Sam's shooter was so Dean Winchester.  And then Sam volunteers to help Alan, push away the feelings of betrayal to do what he know is right---help a friend and fight evil.  It'll be his big 'screw you' to the thing that injured him in the first place.

The entire conversation between the brothers over Fim's roast beef kill was hilarious!  I had to read it twice and laughed just as hard the second time.  "There are no herds of roast beef in the wild.  Don't use the Sammy logic on me."  It's good to see that Sam and Dean are still the same people in a more domesticated situation as they are on the road.  You reinforce that in so many little ways throughout the story.

I was so touched when Sam wondered if he'd been buried beside his Jess.  His mother's grave would be empty but Jess...her body would be there.  Sometimes I forget about her. 

The terrible monster that was going to tear Sam limb from limb was Dean's snoring?  Fabulously funny and yet so natural. 

There couldn't have been a sweeter response to "who am I to you" than "jerk"!  Woot!  Woot!  Especially after Dean felt "a punch coming on." 

You have me so totally immersed in this story.  I'm crying and cheering and holding my breath with the Winchesters.  Every victory is my victory and every time Dean waits for Sam to do something, nod, speak, walk, I find myself tense with anticipation and unable to breathe until I read that he's accomplished the task.

Now that I know the main body of Sam's situation, each little piece that fills in more detail has me appreciating more and more the strength, determination and perseverance of  Sam and Dean.

I'm still anxious and eagerly awaiting word on what happened to the bitch who shot Sam.  And what did Dean do to her? 

You described Sam's battle with depression and his health so exquisitely.  You must have experienced this trial yourself to have spoken about it so meaningfully.

I was impressed by Sam's thoughts of Dean and what he's going through.  It truly shows the depth of their bond for Sam to think outside himself when suffering from such a deep depression.  I'm glad you brought up the Impala again.  It was so important to both men that I imagine they would think of it and mourn its loss.  I especially liked that you included it as a member of their family.  It was their home their entire lives.

Dean's laughter at Sam's wimpery, resigned "Okay, Dan." was just what both men needed.  I love how you balance the dark moods with little snippets of humor.  It flows very smoothly and realistically.

"Looks all thaw-y.  I know you don't recognize it but that's chef talk."  Hilarious!  It's so good to see them joking with one another again.  It eases the weight of the burdens they bear.  And I loved that you topped off that conversation with a loving, "bit me."

I had to smile at Sam's light-hearted words when he found out Dean had punched the wall. I was afraid he'd become morose.  Good thing Dean's around to keep those walls in line. 

Loads of surprises.  Dean working.  A new kitten.  Sam using his left hand to pet it.  Lots of small victories. 

How horrible for Dean to live under the fear that his brother tried to kill himself.  That would be crushing after almost losing him once, after fighting so hard to keep him alive, after sacrificing so much to make change their lives to accommodate Sam's new needs.  I hope he learns the truth soon.

Dean eating healthy break chalk full of protein and grains and nuts?  Now that's love!

"There, Dean, can I have dessert now?"  Hee!  Good one Sammy.  and Dean just takes it in stride. An angry Sam is better than a hopeless Sam.

Another great memory!  Dean trying to help Sam with comfort food that will remind him of good times is a marvelous idea!  Who doesn't need comfort food?  I thought it was funny that Sam thought macaroni and cheese only came from a box.

"The bartender was pretty, with eyes the color of the first girl Dean had been with.  Funny, I remember that.  maybe it's one of those things you always remember, like the first time you drive, the first time you hear a gunshot, the first time you torch a ghost."  A clever touch!  I love the little details you add.  And I love that you put things we could relate to along with those that would be exclusively hunter-related.

Finally, we find out what happened.  Now we have to find out why and who.  Apparently she got away.  Was she shooting Sam for something he did or to hurt Dean? 

Very vague tantalizing hints about what happened.  I'm so eager to find out what happened.  Was it supernatural or human?

Dean has done so much to make a good home for Sam.  It's very touching to see this dimension of the Winchester's bond.  I hate to see Sam so despondent but I know after an enormous amount of angst he'll work it out.  

already with this first chapter my heart is pounding and I read hesitantly, afraid at what I'd discover.  I don't like it (well, yes I do because it's going to be an incredible story but I don't like what's happening to the boys).  Sam incapacitated, Dean needing special training to care for him, and worst of all no Impala?!  The horror!

Now I need to find out what happened and how the Winchesters are going to triumph. 

I hope you'll update this story soon.  Poor Sam, and poor Dean trying to keep his brother fighting to stay alive.  

Hooray!  Good news finally!  I have gotten so far behind following this story!  I just started over and read from the beginning.  What a great job you are doing!  Loving it!

Author's Response: Oh thank you so much!