Firstly I feel I should appologise to you cos I must have read this a year ago when you first posted and I absolutely loved it, but wasn't a member then so never reviewed. And I should have rectified that...so I intend to now...lol

Loved the beginning of this story...this first chapter sets the scene so well, both boys are so at odds with one another and you've written that so beautifuly.

And the little hints to Dean's illness are subtle but obvious at the same time and I want to scream at Sam to pay more attention...lol

Great chapter, moving on to chap 2...

So there are some writers that you keep their books on your shelf and some you keep on your nightstand. The difference? How often you want to re-read the stories.

You're a nightstand writer, man. The first time you experience this story is a slow build through a relationship that we all *think* we know... we all see in different ways. And seeing them through your eyes is fantastic.

Then once you know the story, there are certain parts you just want to re-read to experience the intensity conveyed through your careful, simple use of words.

Thank you for sharing your talent. Please don't ever stop writing. I mean that. Don't ever stop.

Author's Response: Oh, Gaelic. You are so good to me. This means so much, especially coming from you, one of the most prolific and talented writers out there (in this fandom and in 'real' life). Thank you for saying I'm a nightstand writer - I think that's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about my writing. And since you asked - I won't stop writing. :-) 

Great story I read the whole thing in one sitting and now it is very late!  Very impressive look into the Dean/Sam relationship dynamic.

 

I look forward to reading more of your work.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review. So sorry I kept you up. :-) But I'm glad you liked it enough to read it in one sitting!

Especially happy that you liked the brothers' relationship dynamic - it's what makes me love the show.

I'M AT A LOSS OF WORDS, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE.  THIS WAS A GREAT STORY!!!!

Author's Response:

LOL - sorry I left you at a loss. But I'm really happy that you thought it was a great story.

Thanks for taking the time to read AND review. I really appreciate it.

That was awesome. Loved Dr Bates and Betty, they're so sweet people.  Dean and Sam's conversation, a very poignant moment. And what a great way to end this story with funny banter between the brothers. Thank you for this terrific ride, I enjoyed it very much.  I hope you'll continue to write, I'm looking forward for your next story.

Author's Response:

Thank you! So glad you got all the way through. :-)

I'm glad you liked the humor in the end. I can't imagine them having a serious conversation and not quickly turning to humor - since those chick flick moments scare them a little.

Thanks for all your reviews. I really appreciate them.

Oh, and here it is. My favorite chapter. I've read it on the other site of which we will not speak and I've read it here. And I've read it here again. And then one more time.

I just simply LOVED this chapter -- Dean fighting to wake up in the hospital, the reason for them having to get out of the hospital (so great that it was designed like that even BEFORE Nightshifter), the escape with the "act" at the elevator, the ride up the mountain (almost made ME carsick just reading it) and Sam's quick thinking to get Dean out of the car, Dean's dream, the conversation between Dean and Bates (possibly my favorite part of the whole chapter), and finally, finally, Sam and Dean at the end.

Always Sam and Dean. The bit of conversation about the role reversal was excellent. Just really fantastic. A very satisfying ending to a well thought out, well researched, emotionally-wrought story that held a piece of your heart for us all to see.

Thanks for writing.

Author's Response:

Aw - thanks GS, for that lovely review. And you are a glutton for punishment, as you've read the story several times already. :-)

I'm glad you liked the conversation between Bates and Dean in the end. I became very attached to Bates by that point - he really surprised me - more like he wrote himself than the other way around. I may have to resurrect him at some point. If he doesn't die of old age between now and the time I get my act together and wrtie something else. :-)

Thanks again for all your great reviews!

Not offended, even though most everything is illegal in Queensland. Down south I think marijuana is legalised - in Victoria, I think. And used for health reasons.

Wow - think I'm still breathing after that - (puts hand on heart to make sure...)

I really appreciate the time and stupendous effort you put in to research this thing - don't know if I could have waded through that amount of detail. I would have sworn you had medical experience - at least fully trained nurse, or an ambo, perhaps. (ambulance officer).

On to epilogue...

Author's Response:

Good to hear you weren't offended. I just couldn't ignore the fact that Ash would have some marijuana and that it could help Dean.

As for the research - it's unbelievable to me what you can find online. I did talk to one doctor towards the very end, and called the local blood bank for information, but everything else I gathered online. And it was a lot of fun. So glad you appreciated it.

lovedd it....awesome storyy

Author's Response: Thanks. So glad you enjoyed it.

I can't remember when I read something that made me cry as much as this story. And I'm not just talking fanfic, I'm talking honest to God novels.

This was such a gut wrenching chapter. You've outdone yourself. Sam trying to help Dean as Ellen finished the sutures was hard and lovely to read at the same time. The way you described Dean's physical anguish was so perfect I could see his suffering, really feel for him. And for Sam.

Sam pretending he was his dad so that Dean could drink was inspired. I loved Sam's mini breakdown too right before the blood transfusion. And the end scene when he cried, I cried too.

I really love Bates and Betty. They're dimensional characters that don't get in the way of the brothers, but enhance the story.

I loved this:

"That's when he realized he was a part of Dean's arsenal. Along with the weapons, the holy water, the salt. along with the dry wit and the sarcasm, Sam was part of the armory Dean kept for protection. So even in a semi conscious state, Sam's name spilled out. It's promise not necessarily to keep him safe, but to keep him sane. The awareness, and the pressure that came with it, was staggering."

Thank you so much for this great read. I'm just sorry it's coming to an end.

Author's Response:

Thank you - again. I'm sorry it made you cry - but I love that it's brought out emotions like that in people.

And I'm glad you like Bates and Betty. I was originally going to have Sam operate based on IM instructions from some doctor online - but I'm SO glad Bates showed up when he did, :-)

I haven't been able to think of anything besides this story today, and couldn't wait to get back here to finish it.

This was such an emotionally charged chapter. Everything about it was beautiful. I don't even know where to begin.

That whole paragraph when Sam realized Dean had lost his purpose when his father died was unbelievable. I think I read it three times.

And there was humor in it too. I laughed out loud when Dean asked if old Bates had worked during the civil war.

I loved this line:

"He wanted to apologize for being distant and hard to talk to, when he knew it was the only thing Sam ever wanted from him. For a million things he'd said and done during a lifetime of dysfunction. Mostly he wanted to apologize for keeping secrets. For honoring his father and not his brother."

Just beautiful. In that bit right there you kept Dean in character and got across how tortured he's been since his father told him the secret.

LOVED the ending. Dean thrashing about. Sam being gentle. Can't wait for the rest.

Author's Response:

Honestly, I think it's your reviews that keep getting better. Thank you so much for another great one.

I'm really glad you liked the bit about Dean's purpose. I've really felt that for most of the season Dean's been floundering, trying to figure out where he fits in the scheme of things without his dad.

Here's hoping you like the rest just as much.

 

 

   Waouw, what a great story, really. Loved it. And those brothers, love them to. Thanks for entertaining us with so high-leveled (sorry if this is not a real word, not quite sure, i'm french) stories.

Author's Response:

Merci beaucoup. Je suis tres content avec tu critique.

And that's about all I remember from high school French - sorry if some of it is off! :-)

I hope you like the epilogue!

Okay, I cried. Really. The part with Dean delirious thinking Sam was his father made me cry. That was beautiful - especially the way you had Sam so torn about it.

This line summed it up for me perfectly:

"Sam had heard enough, could kick himself for letting it go as long as he did. He had wanted Dean to talk, to open up, to say anything about their father's death besides the mantra of self protection he wore on his sleeve. But this outpouring of guilt and grief and fear was, while honest to the core, tainted and unfairly gathered."

I just love all the details you have. Everything from the weather, to the streams in the area that cause flooding, to the local clinic and Ash's 10 speed bike. I can't believe this is the only story you have on here. But I can see why it won an award. And I want you to know that I've been lurking here for a while and only registered after I started reading this story and had to review.

Author's Response:

You're killing me with your reviews - they are so great. Thank you so much.

I'm so glad you appreciate the details - sometimes it's hard to know what's too much and what isn't.

Especially happy you liked Delirious Dean - since originally this was a one shot with Delirious Dean. It wasn't until I started thinking that he needed a reason to be delirious that the rest of the story came together. :-)

This just keeps getting better and better. I'm so glad I found it with all these chapters posted.

You do Hurt!Dean so well. I loved the double conversation he had with Ellen - saying one thing, thinking another.

And I loved this line:

"Dean stiffened but said nothing. Sam was watching him from the doorway. What was that expression on his face? Contempt? Pity? Hatred? He coudln't see compassion or concern. Couldn't see love or fear. Could only see what his own insecurities and grief allowed him to see. A nearsighted spin on his relationship with his brother."

You have a really wonderful grasp of the english language - and use your words beautifully.

Author's Response:

Thanks for that wonderful review. I'm glad you think I do a good Hurt Dean. :-) I hate to say it comes naturally...

English is my second language, learned to speak it when I was six - so I doubly appreciate the kudos on the grasp of it all! :-)