Reviewer: Star (Signed) · Date: 17/09/10 08:40 PM · On: Chapter 1

I have so many mxed feelings about this story. Not about its awesomeness, that is a given, an undeniable fact kinda like breathing Oxygen is necessary for life.

The torture scenes were amazing, this is great in terms of detail and description, shows research done. I was thoroughly impressed. i cannot even express how much.

I have always thought that children are our best selves. They accept without prejudice are kind to a fault and choose right most times. Not always but most times. And I think that's wwhy Ben chose good. He just didn't have the shades of grey that develop in adults after time and pain get in the way. And I get why he is angry at Sam.

Sam, like Ben says knows right and still chooses wrong. And I get that. I so get that. We do it all the time. We know its wrong to lie but we still do. So I think I understand Sam and its no excuse just is.

And Dean has hit the nail on the head. Sam was raised and protected constantly and that made him a lil selfish but his motivations are still underlined by care. He loves Dean and Ben to a fault but he wants to be free of the pain and the sometimes crushing responsibility. ANd i get that.

I so identify with each of the boys perspectives nad that is what makes this story great.

Hope you like long reviews for this was a doozy! rofl!

Author's Response:

I love long reviews but they usually breed longer replies from me so I hope you're prepared.

The torture was very thoroughly researched, it's strangely one of my "things."  I've always been fascinated by it and the impact it can have on people whether it be a Stolkholm Syndrome type thing or the actual physical ramifications.  In this particular story's case I wanted to explore Sam and Ben separate of Dean in conjunction with Ben being threatened while Sam was hurt.  Basically I wanted to show the connection that has developed between Ben and Sam on a deeper level. 

For Dean the ultimate torture wouldn't be pain, it'd be knowing what was happening to those he loved without being able to do anything about it.  Until this point he'd always been able to take action in Ben's life (since Ben came into his care) but this is the first time as a parent that his love for his son is at someone else's mercy and he could directly see it but do nothing about it.  As a parent there is nothing worse than watching impending doom for your child. 

Choices are always key in my Ben stories and I think this is one of the first times that I really throw the ambiguity of choices in the character's faces.  One of things I try to bring home is the Nihilistic philosophy that there really are no wrong choices, only wrong outcomes to those choices.  As Sam processes through the reality of his power and uses Ben to guide him through that process, he has to learn how to recognize the possible outcomes and whether he's willing to face those outcomes - "sleep at night" so to speak.  So, from a philosophical stand point, if I were to murder and accept the consequences for that murder, is my choice to murder (for me alone) a wrong choice?  It's only when we learn to accept the societal dictates as a determination of our standards of right and wrong that we move away from the selfishness of "I can do whatever I please."  Or as Wiccans put it "'An it harm none, do what ye will'"

Ben is wonderfully still so young and I completely agree with your assessment, youth often makes our choices idealistic and simplistically easy because we just don't have the outlying factors to taint our views.  Ben is in a difficult situation, still rather pure at heart and yet deeply enmeshed in a very dark world, as his father and uncle were at his age.  Sadly, as we can see from Sam's journey into adulthood, those outside influences can strip away any semblance of right and wrong and leave an individual floundering in the dark for some guidance.

Thanks for the review, especially the long one, I love it.   I hope my superficial understanding of philosophy didn't leave you stratching your head and wondering what world I really come from.

lostatc

Reviewer: CdeWinter78 (Signed) · Date: 02/06/09 08:10 AM · On: Chapter 1

That was heavy going!!! Very well written though as I am sure the content and descriptions must have been made more challenging due to the nature of the torture.

You are very clear in your warning and though I am finding parts of this uncomfortable to read I can't now stop as I WANT Dean to get to do some of that killing!!!!!

Excellent suspense - difficult subject matter, dealt with very convincingly.

Great Start ! Abi

Author's Response:

Sorry about the heavy subject matter.  It does have a purpose even if it seems gratuitous.  In all honesty, this wasn't difficult to write -- that I remember -- torture methods are, sadly, one of the things that I've spent some time looking into over the years.  I was probably the original emo teenager many, many years ago and this topic appealed to me senses back then.  Its come in handy recently so go figure. 

I hope you continue to enjoy (if reading this can be called enjoyment) and that it doesn't disappoint in the end.

Thank you so much for the review.  I really appreciate it

Kim

Reviewer: Aj_17 (Signed) · Date: 12/02/09 03:10 AM · On: Chapter 7

*sniffle* BRAVO! Great ending! i give it a 2 billion out of 10! Great job!.... i'm looking forward to reading your stories in the future!

Author's Response:

Sorry to make you sniffle, I'd hand you a tissue but never seems to work with a computer. 

Wow on the review, I'm very happy that you liked this story.  And I hope I don't disappoint in the future.

Sorry for not replying sooner, lost this and several other reviews to the realities of life, funny how that happens sometimes.

Thank you.

lostatc

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 14/01/09 09:52 PM · On: Chapter 6

Amazing!  What a powerful, emotionally packed chapter!  I can't wait to find out what's wrong with Sam.  has he gone mad?

Author's Response:

I think going mad might be a good idea for him.  Just kidding. 

Thanks for reading and leaving a review!

Kim

Reviewer: lillelouis (Signed) · Date: 08/01/09 08:06 AM · On: Chapter 7

Oh my...

Wonderful. Your stories have a way about them. I've told you before, they leave you with conflicting feelings of closure and a slight unease. 'Cause I know, when reading your stories, that the end isn't the end. There are a thousand days still waiting to be played out.

Great job.

Author's Response:

You've made me a very happy person.  You've pointed out the one thing I really want to come across with this series...it'll never be over for these three until the ulitmate end.  It's the journey that matters, afterall, and not the destination. 

Thank you so much!

Kim

Reviewer: CricketBee (Signed) · Date: 08/01/09 02:43 AM · On: Chapter 6

Wow.

I mean ... wow.

This line stopped me cold because of its sheer beauty: 

"Because he believes. He has absolute faith. He knows you the way he knows God. He believes in every aspect of his being that you will make the right choice – no matter which choice that is. It isn’t his influence in raising you. It isn’t the demon’s taint in your blood. It’s you.”

Ahh, on to the last chapter.

-- cricket 

Author's Response:

Thank You!

That line really meant a lot to me.  I keep wondering why Dean puts up with Sam making such questionable decisions and that pretty much explains my take on why. 

Kim

Reviewer: Aj_17 (Signed) · Date: 12/12/08 12:24 AM · On: Chapter 6

woooooowwwwwww.......that was cool... Can't wait for an update!  (poor sammy) great job!

Author's Response:

I am so happy that you enjoyed it.  This is story was so difficult to write.  There will be an update but I don't know how soon - broke a finger the other day so typing is difficult right now. 

Thanks for reading and reviewing.  I appreciate it.

Kim

Reviewer: Midge (Signed) · Date: 11/12/08 04:20 PM · On: Chapter 6

Awesome chapter, but oh boy, poor Sam. At least his family is still alive, but he is one scared man, and did that count as a decision?

Hope you are feeling better and recovered from the flu. 

Author's Response:

Thank you so much.  Yes it counts as a decision but remember if he chose for the side of good - it's not his last decision.  If he chose for the side of the demons then the story takes on a whole new meaning. 

Thanks for asking about my flu!  I am feeling so much better.  So, so much.  At least I'm not needing to sleep constantly.  I hate the flu!

Thanks for your review and for asking about my health.

Reviewer: Shannondoah (Signed) · Date: 08/12/08 03:56 PM · On: Chapter 5

Wonderful ending!  I love that Ben said what needed to be said.  Those Winchesters need people to be in their faces before they'll listen.  Ben made a lot of sense.

Author's Response: Thank you so much.  A little more yet to come.

Reviewer: Midge (Signed) · Date: 26/11/08 02:24 PM · On: Chapter 5

Definitely intrigued on the archangel front. Think I'd best go check out some of your other stories and play catch up.

Will there be any more updates to this story?

Author's Response:

Start with Sword and Shield, then read To The Rescue.  After that Choices and then A Walk on the Wild Side.  At that point you will be caught up with Ben and my angels. 

I will be updating this soon.  I'm sick with the flu at the moment so my brain is non-functioning.

Thanks for reading and the review.

Reviewer: supernaturaldh (Signed) · Date: 25/11/08 07:22 PM · On: Chapter 5

Wickedly good...I love it.  More please.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much.  I'll get you more as soon as I am able, fighting the flu at the moment.

 

Reviewer: penmin (Signed) · Date: 25/11/08 05:45 AM · On: Chapter 5

I was worried for a moment there, thought the Demons had found them first at the hospital...Brilliant chapter again

I really really would like to own a Mini Cooper... ah well

Jacq

Author's Response:

Get a Mini!  Greatest car on the planet.  I love driving mine, it's like a gocart on steriods. 

I am glad that I was able to fool on the hospital scene, I wanted it ambiguous and to set them on the run again.

Thanks for reading and for the review, I really appreciate it.

Kim

Reviewer: GotTheShining (Signed) · Date: 24/11/08 08:25 PM · On: Chapter 5

I can't believe you gave the doc a mini cooper?! Envisioning the three of them squeezing into that car while injured was almost cruel.

Author's Response:

I own a Mini Cooper and you'd be surprised how much you can get into those things.  I'm 5'5", my husband is 6'3", my daughter 5'9" and my son is just about my height, we all fit comfortably.  And they are the funnest things to drive.  I would LOVE to see Dean and Sam buzzing around in a Mini!  One of my secret desires.

Thanks for reading and for the review!