Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 10/10/09 03:22 AM · On: Life Without Adrenaline
That was a great read - so many priceless moments in it. Loved the doc almost being fried by Dean's glare - lol. And that was so touching, Sam trying to find the words to say - or not to say - to make Dean stand down and get some rest. Sam's little collapse was sad, but understandable, as he threw up then ran all those horrible scenarios through his mind. Oh, and the kid making itself comfortable on Sam's bed - awwww - but it was funny - and so was Dean puckering up when Sam tried to get him out of the car. And the yodelling. Poor Sam - I could picture those lovely doe eyes widening with shock and fear, then transmuting to abject horror when he realised what was actually happening. Well, at least John Junior got brekky - ROFL! Loved it. Thank you so much for sharing this. I bet Birdie was absolutely chuffed at getting this for a present. Jules
Author's Response: Goats and yodelling was one of the stranger things to work into a story, but oh, it was fun doing it. The idea for yodelling Dean, and Sammy outside thinking it was some monster chowing down on him hit me at work, which was a little embarrassing. Kind of a 'lightbulb!' moment, followed by a good five minutes of solitary hilarity. But just imagining the blackmail... Thanks hugely for the reviews - yours are always so great to read, especially on older stories! Cal
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 10/10/09 03:07 AM · On: Something Like Pride
That was a great peek inside Sam's head. His disorientation after his mad tumble through the grass, his desperate need to find Dean, and then the panic when he finally does and can't get Dean to wake. I loved his thoughts on their reconnecting, and his relief on being able to read his brother again like he used to. And I adored the fact that it was Sam who brought the kid with them, even wrapping it up in his own jacket to keep it warm. Awwwwwwwww.......that was a seriously warm and fuzzy moment. Jules
Author's Response: I can do warm and fuzzy, on occasion. In between, ya know, all the hurt and wailing and beating of breasts. So glad you picked up on the reconnection between them, it took more than a few tries to get that working right! It's a lovely theme to write though, such a nice way to throw them off balance and explore what that does to them. Does that make me sound nasty...?
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 10/10/09 02:57 AM · On: Tortued Emo Rock Crap
Puppy-dog alert. Loved that line. Not too much makes me laugh out loud when I'm reading, but that line did. The whole scene with Sam trying to wake Dean up and getting frantic, then his gathering his brother in his arms and rocking - that was so poignant. Many layers in that. The same as the scene in the car with Dean apologising. I have to admit I had tears in my eyes right along with Sammy. And then you topped it off with a totally unexpected laugh at the end. Oh, gosh - the goat's hitched a ride with them - LOL. Jules
Author's Response: Oh yeah. You gotta watch those goats. They'll sneak up on ya worse than the chick-flicks do. Though I kinda liked him. He was fun. It's amazing the way a bleat can sound like words... Or is that just the yokel in me?
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 10/10/09 02:48 AM · On: Clucking at goats.
Well, now we know why they were in the barn and how Dean got the goat. But seriously - Sam yodelling? I almost choked laughing at that bit. Between the description of the noise he made, the goats' reaction and Dean's "it ain't my fault!", I'm just thankful I wasn't drinking anything at the time, otherwise I'd have done that embarrassing splut thing and ended up with earl grey tea all over the monitor. Not cool. But very funny. The boys' reactions when they first pulled up had chills racing down my spine as well - that was so well done. And damned creepy - I had fears of one of the boys getting taken over by the ghost, actually, since the final victims were brothers. Didn't see the woman as being the next victim - that one threw me for a six. The scenes in the barn were awesome - and I had to chuckle at Dean hanging onto the ghost's foot. Ah, Rambo!Sammy - well, he's something special, isn't he? I could get to love Rambo!Sammy. LOL. Jules
Author's Response: I seem to have developed a knack for killing other people's monitors... would you believe me if I said sorry? nah me either! glad you enjoyed it - i remember this chapter was a rollercoaster to write, the angst and the horror, and then the funny. Rambo!Sammy really is all Janger's fault. She made the comment, and it stuck!
Reviewer: mizpah (Signed) · Date: 10/10/09 02:25 AM · On: Prologue: Only Child
Great, great start! Jumps right into the action and leaves the reader with a million questions - why was Dean rescuing a baby goat, why were they in the barn, why was the barn burning, what happened to make Sam take a picture of Dean and the goat while the barn was burning....and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Excellent way to keep your readers enthralled. I loved the description of the explosion and Dean's impromptu flight - and adored his solemn vow to never get on another plane again - ROFL!!!!!! Poor, poor Dean. And the vivid mental picture of Sam's landing, followed by the feelings evoked from the description of Dean's impact - ouch, by the way. No, strike that - OUCH! But that was great - I could see it all happening so clearly. The icing on the cake was the goat licking Dean awake, and him thinking it was Sam and wondering why his brother was bleating - precious - just too precious. Never mind why his brother was licking his face - LOL. Jules
Author's Response: Ah yes, Dean and baby goat. Well, who wouldn't get a picture of that?! And if Winchesters were meant to fly, the pigeons wouldn't be the only ones with wings... I very nearly didn't put in that bit about Sam bleating - oh that image, licking his face. I really thought I'd finally managed to forget that... But it was just too much fun! Ta hun - enjoy the rest, and I hope you had a great birthday!
Reviewer: NongPradu (Signed) · Date: 17/01/09 05:50 PM · On: Life Without Adrenaline
Ahahahahaha! This was so touching, at times hilarious, kind of freaky and eerie and just plain awesomeness! I don't know how I didn't see this thing before. I loved every inch of it! :)
Author's Response: Well, with a request for goat's, yodelling and plenty of whump, it was always gonna be a little odd... glad you found it and liked it, sorry it took so long to reply!
Reviewer: fredo (Signed) · Date: 19/10/08 05:02 AM · On: Life Without Adrenaline
yup, I know, took me long enoug to come back. But really happy I did, nice story, entertaining and funny. Thanks.
Author's Response: I'm glad you came back, and glad you liked it! thanks for reviewing cal
Reviewer: fredo (Signed) · Date: 16/10/08 02:57 PM · On: Prologue: Only Child
well, Kwater sent me over here, and gotta say, this "In my world, it's rarely a good thing if something licks you awake." is quite a good start!!
Author's Response: well i'm glad she did, and i'm glad you like it so far! thanks cal
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed) · Date: 16/10/08 05:41 AM · On: Life Without Adrenaline
Thanks for the great story. Great name for the goat lol.
Author's Response: one of the few things i had from the beginning - the name just popped into my head from the first bleat, and it stuck... but shall i bring him back one day? you guys tell me! thanks for the reviews, they really do make the nerves and shredded fingernails around posting time worth it!
Reviewer: kwater (Signed) · Date: 15/10/08 10:32 PM · On: Life Without Adrenaline
LOL, well I have to say it wasn't only Birdie that got a treat. Great story ;) Kel
Author's Response: Thanks, Kel - great to hear you liked it! You picked up some of my favourite lines as well - and even i wasn't too sure how he was going to end up saving the goat! (the muse is a damn good poker player...) Loving 'Lovely',its all getting very ominous... Cal
Reviewer: kwater (Signed) · Date: 15/10/08 10:16 PM · On: Something Like Pride
Wonderful with Sam's pov ;) Kel
Reviewer: kwater (Signed) · Date: 15/10/08 10:03 PM · On: Tortued Emo Rock Crap
Gotta say I love the emotion in this one...and the action was kick-ass ;) Kel
Reviewer: kwater (Signed) · Date: 15/10/08 09:56 PM · On: Clucking at goats.
Then the goblin who'd taken up residence in my head might have given up on his ambition to become a drum soloist. - hehehe....loving this one - Kel ;)
Reviewer: kwater (Signed) · Date: 15/10/08 09:34 PM · On: Prologue: Only Child
"In my world, it's rarely a good thing if something licks you awake." - Okay now Cal...that line right there is just absolutely friggin' classic....LOL. Cannot wait to see how poor Dean ended up saving the goat. ;) Kel
Reviewer: cheri (Signed) · Date: 09/10/08 02:53 PM · On: Something Like Pride
Loved how you ended this chapter---Sam telling Dean to "Shut the hell up!"---great!--then"Why the hell didn't you pass out sooner? Stubborn jackass."---even better!!!Then ofcourse who's the stubborn one when he finally passes out?? Great job!! Can't wait for final chapter!!!
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed) · Date: 08/10/08 03:16 PM · On: Something Like Pride
Great update, loved Sam telling Dean to shut the hell up lol.
Reviewer: birdie (Signed) · Date: 08/10/08 02:49 PM · On: Something Like Pride
Cal. bloody good chapter hunny. dislocations are so worth their money aren't they? and damn that goat is sweet loving it bev xx
Reviewer: birdie (Signed) · Date: 06/10/08 03:41 PM · On: Tortued Emo Rock Crap
Cal. gee that was sweet. I just love it when Dean's head lolls against Sam's collar bone. That was lovely. oh and the goat? adorable! So i take it you'll be bringing one at Halloween? Thanks hunny i love it. Bev xx
Author's Response: well, maybe... and i know your weaknesses by now! collarbones, feet, dislocated shoulders, goats...
Reviewer: birdie (Signed) · Date: 06/10/08 03:32 PM · On: Clucking at goats.
Ok so very very cool. Goats yodelling...what more could a simple girl like me want for? Well now ta mention it...how bout something to do with a loofah and some wild and crazy penguins?? heehee, still love me? Bev xx
Author's Response: might have to wait for your next birthday for that one! but always! ta hun, good to know you're liking it!
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed) · Date: 04/10/08 05:22 PM · On: Tortued Emo Rock Crap
A wonderful chapter, lots of emotion. Loved the chapter ending.
Author's Response: well, it just had to be, really! wasn't where it was going to end at all, but it was just a perfect place to finish up on. *bows down and offers sacrifice to muse* thanks for reviewing! cal
Reviewer: sam (Signed) · Date: 02/10/08 04:25 AM · On: Tortued Emo Rock Crap
Well done I might say. Thank You.
Author's Response: no thank you! glad you like it - almost done now, just a couple of chapters left... :( hope you enjoy hearing what sam thinks as much!
Reviewer: sam (Signed) · Date: 02/10/08 04:10 AM · On: Clucking at goats.
Yeah SAMMY, we still love you kid. I do enjoy reading this part can't wait for the next part.
Reviewer: sam (Signed) · Date: 01/10/08 10:44 PM · On: Prologue: Only Child
What in all hell where they trying to kill? Other than that I like it. It interested me.
Author's Response: Keep reading... i never tell all in the prologue! but i'm glad you lke it, and hopefully that little niggle will disappear in the second chapter - which is where all the action kicks in! (oh, and a bit of angst, cause hey, i can never resist the chance to make ilka cry... see below!)
Reviewer: RoweenaC (Signed) · Date: 01/10/08 07:55 PM · On: Tortued Emo Rock Crap
Cal. I am glad I could read 3 chapters in a row because I know I would have been freaking out if I had had to wait for the next one... Awesome job and can't wait for the next "couple of chapters"... ...a familiar feeling, the one that brought me to my knees for an hour after the bus had disappeared, one that never really left until he landed that perfect right hook on my jaw in his apartment... Oh, this is sooooo sad. Again. Love me a bit of angst, too. I ain't just about blood and physical pain! Angst is what I prefer to read and write. It's nothing other than bleeding souls fighting for survival. And I love blood. Even this kind of blood that is transparent but stings most in the eyes... not because it is salty but because it is bitter. (Wow, where did that come from? Am I making any sense? It's late, chalk that up to my insomnia...) That scene when Sam left for college is one I would love to see on the show just for once. Because I think it is one of the turning points in the brothers' history. It had to happen to them for the characters to evolve into the men they are now. Just like Sam's and Dean's death or the sacrifice John made for Dean. It shaped the whole relationship of them. Altered it beyond recovery. Both Dean and Sam carry scars on their souls from it. Jeez, I could write an essay about this one never-shown yet crucial scene... Don't worry, won't do it. Maybe another time on LiveJournal... ...Don't go! Sammy please, don't leave me behind again. I can't do this on my own. I realise I spoke out loud... Ugh. Lump in my throat while writing. The words/thoughts and then the realisation he said them out loud. Poor Dean. He must be in real pain to loose control like that. That is exactly why a hurt!Dean appeals so much to the most of us, I think. They way he fights against loosing it. The way his walls crumble sometimes due to stress. Those moments are the best. Jeez, I am a sadist. Gotta ring my sis to get advice on that... NO! I love being a sadist. It's what makes writing/reading fun. To inflict mental or physical pain on the boys. ...He's wrapped his arms carefully around me, pulled me up against his chest and is rocking gently... SO like Sam. To offer comfort and openly show his feelings. Sometimes I wish for Dean to be able to do it, to just let go and protect at the same time. But that just isn't like him. Sam, however, can do it. He had the possibility to learn to be weak and strong at the same time. Because he always felt safe around Dean and strong, because he felt loved. And now, he shares his ability with Dean. Offering protection and the opportunity to open up. Only Dean is a slow learner regarding this. I think he got the hang of it in the finale of season 3 when he had his "eye of the tiger speech"... and when he conceded that they are each other's weak spots. Well, I guess then that there is still hope for Dean to someday be able to relax. But do I really wanna see that? A dysfunctional, walling up Dean is all I need... ...the air heavy with the words we never speak... They never do, do they? Not even when Dean died or rose from the dead. Not even then. That is just so heart-breaking. I wish they could. ....wondering when he grew so tall, so strong but I know the answer. It happened in hollow, empty years, the years when we weren't brothers, when we were alone.... The empty years. So damn true. But they had to happen. For Sam to grow up. He could have never developed his own will. Dean never had the opportunity to choose and just obliged. But he taught Sam that it is ok to stand up for himself, that it is ok to be different. That he would be loved even if he did something completely painful to Dean. Dean is like a parent to Sam. Stepping back in the right moment even though it hurts. Watching as Sam makes his way. Accepting to be sidestepped and left behind. Hoping for a return of the child he has raised someday. Of course, they were empty years for Dean. His life's purpose had left him. A life without direction is an empty life. Sam wasn't really alone just without his brother, which is in itself a very sad thing. However, Dean suffered more from the separation. But I think he should find solace in the way Sam has grown (in both senses). Sam could only become the man he is because Dean laid the foundations and stepped back and let him go when it was time for Sam to make his own way. After all, Sam came back to him. Even if it was due to the gruesome fact that Jess died. I loved how the song and reality were in sync. A fact only Dean would realise. And maybe a few (all) fan-girls. Because all of us share his preference for the right song for the occasion, don't we? ....blast snatch him away from me... Again the loneliness voiced here crushes my heart. How an explosion can not only (!) hurt him physically but tears at his soul and heart. I hurt for him.... ...They turn to diamonds on his cheeks as a pick-up swerves around us... Beautiful image here, Cal. Awesome. Very descriptive skill... More of that! Well, I said it before, I say it again. I love the stories you come up with. You manage a level of angst that is very real and very authentic with the characters of our most beloved show. Roll on the next chappies, babe, 'coz you know I am the queen of impatience and I will pester you with emails until you post... Hugs and snogs, Ilka PS: How did ya like #2? I loved it. Especially all the angst playing in Dean's face and the discussion with Castiel in the end...
Author's Response: wow, review FEST! :) so glad you're liking this one - it's been a joy to write and i'm a little sad now the last chappies are of being beta'd. but i have to disagree (sorry!) - you wish they could speak the words - i love it that they don't need to, that they just know all the things they can never figure out how to say, like the end of Tall Tales when they apologise and it means so much more, and of course, the hug in the premiere... beautiful, the way we see Dean's different faces with Bobby and Sam - teary and exhausted but happy with bobby, home with sam. SPOILER ALERT! and i loved #2! So cool to see Meg back, and hendrikson, and to get a bit more of a glimpse into the things that bobby's done in the past. i loved the way they each had to battle against their guilt to overcome the spirits - the way bobby shot ron cause dean couldn't, the way dean shot the twins cause bobby couldn't was perfect. and oh, the angst... ;) ta luv - you wrote me a mammoth two reviews, so i thought i'd writeyou a mammoth response!
Reviewer: RoweenaC (Signed) · Date: 01/10/08 06:53 PM · On: Clucking at goats.
Cal, what a skilled introspective of Dean. I am completely in awe. Terrific. As if Dean is actually living through this whole thing. Very authentic. VERY! Totally real. Well done, honey. ...goblin in my head... A great example of the way Dean's snark is always around even while planning and acting, inside his head. And way of thinking is so real. Only moments are going by and that man is thinking about his past, present and purpose. Sam. ...Cause Daniel Hawkes killed his little brother. You never even got mad at me, not once, not really... ...something about this place has freaked him out, and it's starting to get to me too... I think what scares both men in the beginning is the fact that in this place the most henous thing they can think of has happened. One brother murdering the other, even more so, the older killing the younger. Most terrifying for Sam and Dean, the worst crime ever for they could never imagine this happening to themselves and therefore fear this act. Wouldn't it be terrible if as a final showdown Dean and Sam find each other fighting on opposite sides in the war? Having to kill the other to survive or save the world. That would be pure torture, wouldn't it? Been thinking about that a lot lately what with the new episodes fresh in mind... ...let the walls drop into place again as I swipe one hand across my cheek, wiping away the moisture there... So like Dean, this scene. Hiding his true emotions from the one person who would never use them as a weapon against him, who would always understand. Yet even here, Dean is incapable of letting go, of breathing, of simply being himself. Come here, Dean, lemme give you a hug, 'coz I've seen yer tears and I'll kiss 'em away and hug ya tight... ...as the familiar cold sweeps over me, another mask, another wall between me and the world... Walls separating him from the world. Isolating him. Shielding and cutting him off at the same time. This man has to tear down that many walls, it's a tragedy... *sobs and shakes her head* ...Sammy, be careful. I don't need to say it aloud. He nods, stares intently at me for a moment. You too.... Beautiful. The way they communicate in silence. Understanding the other one perfectly. As close to each other as two persons can be. Loving this. They read each other like an open book. ...trying to get it together enough to say something to take that fear out of his eyes... Aw. Always the big brother, protecting and caring. Unable to stand the hurt and fear in Sam's eyes. But it also shows how little he cares about himself, doesn't it? Always Sammy first and Dean last. ...And I never told you, Sammy, but it was just the way Dad looked, after mom... That made me cry. Simple as that. It is what I felt and still feel when I watch the pilot. Both men (John and Sam) have the same lost, hurt, broken expression... Jeez. Have to stop writing . Sorry, sobbing again. ....I can feel blood trickling out under my hands... Oh, NO! You are not going to make him deaf, too! Gaelic just did that to him and it was pure torture to read that, to witness him suffer from the lack of communication. Another way to isolate him from the world around him. Like another wall. Cal, please don't do it to him.... That's too much. Well, on second thoughts. Do it, 'coz a hurt!Dean is all we need... ...turns into freaking Rambo... In all this hurt and suffering you just had me laughing! Well done! Is that the kind of humour we've been talkin' about? Because that's so down my alley! ...I reach up, not looking, and smack the back of his head... HAHAHAHAHA! He does that sometimes and everytime it happens I have to suppress a giggle. Thanks, for putting that in the story. You know, you really got the humour of the show transformed into written style. Well captured. Who said you couldn't do humour? Girl you rock at it! ...pain in the ass big brother's who think they're freakin' invincible and leave it to me to pick up the freakin' pieces... Heehee. Sam is going all bitchy. Like it when he does that. Complaining all the way but still doing what he is asked. And he is absolutely correct in always being the one to pick up the pieces everytime his brother has an invincibility fit. But honestly, being a big sister myself, what else are younger siblings there for? They learn from our mistakes and make it better. Which in itself means we elder ones have to go beyond our boundaries sometimes and overstretch our luck on occasions so the young ones can learn and feel important... Heehee. I am really good at messing up and my sis is the perfect little helper. She even studied psychology - I guess to better understand me and my idiotic mistakes... heeeheee. ....Guess they got a good helping of Winchester stubborn... Howling with laughter here. All Winchesters (all three of them) have a real stubborn will sometimes, don't they? ....Even deeper, the fear, raw and searing, of losing what little we still have left, and I know it's the one thing I can never hide from him either... Awh. Cal. This story turns out to be a rollercoaster ride. This quoted part really is so emotional. And so the most important thing to know about the brothers. Both are the only thing they have. The only family. That is soooo sad. But it is wonderful to know that Dean can't hide this from Sam. That this is the one thing the walls surrounding him can't hold back. Cal. This story is wonderful and I still like the POV thing. Very real. Totally sucked in... Hugs, Ilka PS Castiel and stigmata on then for Halloween? Waybe with a Dean in tights and Tinkerbell!Samantha? ROTFL
Author's Response: your reviews are longer than some of my chapters! but wow - that put a smile on my face. yeah, it is a bit of a rollercoaster - funny and sad and hurt and angst and all the way back to the beginning again. and it's just the type of humour we were talking about, i've found that writing in first person makes it easy to pull that dark funny out of their thoughts instead of the kind of physical comedy that i really do suck at... and hell yeah! we're so on for halloween!
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