I finally got to read this!! And holy crap, Nicole! That was seriously one of the best chapters I've read. It physically and emotionally hurt to read. You fused so much into the words you used. So very awesome! And I know the worst isn't even over...they still have that ritual...oh man...Please tell me there is a new chapter currently in the works.  -SJ 

Author's Response:

*Grabs and smishes* Thank you! You have made my day with this and I don't know how to thank you for your enthusiasm! I'm so jumping up and down with joy now.

Now, you be careful, though...wouldn't want me getting an inflated ego, lol!

And, yeah, the ritual...gotta give that some deep thought so I don't crash and burn! *shivers at the thought*

Nicole 

This is the best yet! My world came to a halt when I saw you had posted so I could sit and savour the chapter and it was worth every minute. So glad you had the courage to tackle suicide head on. I also believe that anyone no matter how strong and selfless could be pushed to desperate places, and Dean had to do it right as he is so not a 'cry for help' type person.

Although I could also argue that Deans first and foremost motivation is to protect Sammy even from himself so its doubly true to his character.

God this is my longest ever rant on these pages, I hope you see this for the tribute to your work that it is. I am a huge fan - please update soon.

lol

Author's Response:

You know, essentially Dean did commit suicide when he made his deal with the demon.  It's really the same thing. He signed his death warrant for Sam.  He'd have done even if he had fallen dead right there in the crossroads...even if he'd had to blow his own brains out. He will literally do anything for Sam.

And, thanks, long ranting reviews are my favorite kind and I always look forward to reading people's thoughts. I'm just glad you enjoyed it :).

Nicole 

Thank God that Sam got to Dean in the knick of time! You had me so worried there! Keep up the amazing work!

~Kayla

Author's Response:

Hey Kayla! Yeah, I knew it had to be close, and the only way I could see Sam saving Dean was through his powers.  Good thing this was pre-AHBL, lol.

And, thank you so much, I really appreciate your words :).

Nicole 

Woman -- this was fantastic. I quite literally stumbled over it, not thinking it was up yet, and stopped everything to read.

I think this was your best chapter yet -- and I don't mean for this to sound wrong, but I almost didn't care what else was going on in the story... I didn't really care about Hannah or the black-winged-devil-creature (which, creepy) that Bobby shot... I didn't care about the why so much in this chapter because the what was so very captivating.

I've always had personal issues with the idea of Dean attempting suicide (for any reason), but because I know how good you are at weaving the angst, I pushed that aside and just read for the sake of enjoying your story. I'm glad I did because the care Sam showed for his brother in this chapter was so great and the efforts that he and Bobby had to go through to try to fix Dean's battered body just.... guh. Gut-clenching.

I am not one to presume to tell or suggest how one might finish a story -- I believe you have a movie in your mind and a path you are leading us down and you know how you're going to reach resolution with the real demon and the internal demon that is Hannah's memory for Dean.

I just hope that while Sam and Bobby will surely kick ass, Dean has some say in how resolution is achieved.

Now I need to go compose myself and actually face the day because your chapter seriously wrecked me. Thanks for that. :)

Author's Response:

Yeah, I know I told you I didn't think I was going to post it yet, but after I went back through it two or three times, I decided I had to get it away from me...like, NOW, lol.

I'm glad you haven't been disappointed by taking a chance. I know you're not the only one with issues about Dean committing suicide...I think that's part of why some people I know have avoided this one...but I believe most people can reach that point if pushed the right way. I wish I had spent a little more time with Dean's feelings/reasons, but I didn't want to slow the motion down too much.

And, if it makes you feel any better, I do plan for Dean to take part in the demon's demise.

Thank you so much for taking time to read and review this for me. 

(((hugs))) 

You are a great friend!

Nicole 

Enjoyed it? LOVED it! Great chapter and fabulous writing as always. Thank you for saving Dean! Now, let's hope that Sam can finish the job. You do Bobby very well and I love how the boys now have him to lean on. Great moment when he allows himself to react once he's out of Sam's sight. I begin to forgive Sam just a very little bit, but really, please make him suffer just a little more for being so mean to Dean over Hannah....

Thanks for posting this and as always looking soooooo forward to the next installment - I had to read this the second I saw that you had posted - I know that I'm not the only one who keeps an eagle eye (make that a Desert Eagle) out for your posts.....

Author's Response:

*sigh* I do seem to have a thing for that Desert Eagle.   That is one fine lookin' gun...and I'm not a gun person, but I like its look.

*claps* Yea, she likes! And, of course I saved Dean...where would the story go without him? He's my man (as much as I love Sam).

Thank you, Iam...you've been so good to review my stuff for me and it doesn't go unnoticed ;).

Nicole 

Late to the party again...*sigh* But in my defense I read this at dinner at work when it first came out. I just didn't get the time to leave reviews!

Sam realized he was an idiot and for that I do forgive him, but if Dean's brain matter is all over that wallpaper, then I will still wring little Sammy Winchester's neck. End of story.

Love that song! You took me back to high school. In track, this one guy used to bring his truck up to the chain link fence and blast Linkin Park while we ran laps. Plus I've been a fan for as long as I can remember. Such a good choice!!!

The angst in this. Guh, I could pour it into a wine glass a swish it under my nose! Thank you for that!

As always, great work. Can't wait for more.

-SJ 

Author's Response:

(((HUGS))) Thank you!  I'm so happy you stopped in and left not one, not two, but THREE cookies for me!  You spoil me...and I'm getting fat, lol! Keep 'em coming!

Nicole 

AND THEN WAT?TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME

Author's Response:

No worries, it's off to the betas now.  As soon as they're done and I add in corrections, you'll have it!

Thanks,

Nicole 

I guess I will have to forgive you for the cliffhanger...although you do  have me wondering, and I probably will go crazy tonight, waiting for an update...but yes. I do forgive you ;) Nice job with the chapter!

~Kayla

WOW!!! you get a dozen chocolate chip cookies for this.

Make with the next chappy....Sam and I are waiting...LOL 

Author's Response:

Oh, holy cow! I LOVE chocolate chip cookies...especially if they're warm. Thank you! Well, thank goodness someone is taking care of Sam for me...I hated leaving him frozen in place like that, lol.

Nicole 

Evil doesn't BEGIN to cover it!! Thats downright cruel. I feel like crying for everyone.........

Author's Response:

Ohhhh, GotTheShining! *huggles* Don't cry, shop girl. It'll be okay...at least, as okay as anything ever is for the Winchesters.

I'm sorry for being cruel, I'll try to hurry.  I won't even make any more videos or banners or anything until I'm done with the next update, okay?

Thanks for reading anyway,

Nicole 

Evil cliffy indeed. What a very intense and powerful chapter. Awww...Poor Sammy, once the anger left him he realized what he did. Don't tell me it's too late, Sam will never forgive himself. And to have Dean so emotionally and physically broken, gutwrenching. Please, please, please, don't leave us like this too long, update soon.

Author's Response:

Oceane! Hey, girl! Yes, poor Sam, I felt bad for him realizing what happened.  Now it's Sammy to the rescue as hard as he can go!

Thanks, I adore your double reviews!

Nicole

Lovely! The guilt, the angst, and YES! Okay, fine! You got your revenge. :) I love Linkin Park, and agree that the lyrics to that song really fit this story...

Now, you promised me you'd warn if you wrote anymore death fics, so I'm trusting you... *whimper*

Sam's vision was so good and I love that Bobby is there now. I was surprised when you went to present tense toward the end, kinda shifting us a bit into the action.

I eagerly await the next installment!! Write before school takes you away from us again! :)

 

Author's Response:

(((HUGS))) Hey, woman! Thanks! And, oh my word, do you know how many times I listened to that song? Yes, I promise, I ALWAYS warn people before writing a death fic. Trust is well placed.

You know, I'm still not sure about the present tense thing. I know you are NOT supposed to change tenses in a story, but that's what happened. I hope that was okay to do.  

Oh, man. Yep, only two weeks before I go back to work. I feel the pressure to hurry already. PRESSURE! Lol.

Thanks for both reviews :)!

Luv ya,

Nicole