Reviewer: ReccaF (Signed)
04/06/08 04:16 PM · On:
this story is great!!!
Ok... you like to keep people on the edge of their seats???!!!!OUTSTANDING work
you have an interesting way of creating the suspense-very very good!!!
You have captured the Winchester way very well-I like your style>
Sam needs to get his psychic senses going-Dean needs him NOW!!!!
more please soon..???
Thank you so much for the lovely comments, I'm delighted that you think I have captured the Winchester way, a very valued compliment.
You're right, Dean needs help and he needs it right now. I've just posted chapter 3, so hopefully help will be on its way before too long!
Thank you again for taking the time to read and review and for the lovely sparkly stars!
x Jane x
Reviewer: Soennelchen (Signed)
04/06/08 02:31 AM · On:
Jane, I just started reading this story and it is absolutely great so far! I can't believe this is your first one, you are doing a wonderful job. The way way portray Dean lost in his thoughts is poignant.
I can't believe this time it's not a demon that's taking our boy down. Please let Sam find him ASAP! Looking forward to more :)
Thank you so much for the lovely review, compliments and the beautiful shiny stars!
Lost in Deans' thoughts is a truly captivating place to be, there's no telling where he'll take you, normally somewhere you could never go when he's got his guard up!
Sorry there's no Demons come to play this time!
Chapter 3 just posted, so hopefully up soon.
Thank you again. x Jane x
Reviewer: red11 (Signed)
04/06/08 01:40 AM · On:
Nice, I wasn't expecting CO2 and instead waiting for a demon to do something to Dean as he fell asleep in the laundry room. Can't wait for more.
Hope the CO didn't disappoint too much! It didn't give our Dean much of a chance to fight back - Bless Him.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review.
I've just posted Chapter 3, so hopefully it will be up soon. I'd love to know what you think! x Jane x
Reviewer: mymuseandi (Signed)
04/06/08 12:15 AM · On:
This is not a deathfic right??? right??? Dean!!!!!!! he can't die. he's too pretty to die!! LOL Sam had better get back there fast to save him!! isn't it simply delightfully ironic that sometimes the danger that the boys faced are not supernatural in nature and it's so frustrating to see other people's mistakes piling onto them?
“Don’t be long and don’t talk to strangers!” He called at Sams’ receding back as his brothers’ long strides increased the distance between them, smirking he turned and retraced his steps into the warm, stuffy washroom.
I love this line. Dean treating Sam like a kid still!! Haha..maybe to him Sam is still his kid brother.... :)
Can't wait for the next update! don't be too long.....
Hiya Mymuseandi (love the name)
No, no, no I couldn't possibly ever do a Deathfic, I couldn't bear to lose our boy! I feel someone will get there before too long to save that beautiful butt.
I wasn't too sure how the non-supernatural angle would go down but the CO is pretty awful stuff all on it's own.
I'm pleased you're enjoying it and thank you so much for the lovely review.
I've just posted Chapter 3, so hopefully up soon.
x Jane x
Reviewer: tvbatina (Signed)
03/06/08 10:53 PM · On:
That was heartwrenching. POOR DEAN! I can't wait for the next chapter.
Thanks you so much, Poor Dean, indeed, I couldn't leave him on the floor for much longer! I've just posted the next chapter, so hopefully not too long till it's up.
Thank you for reading and reviewing.
x Jane x
Reviewer: Swellison (Signed)
03/06/08 09:04 PM · On:
Okay, so now I get what the title is about, I was trying to connect it to the song and not having a lot of luck;-) Poor Dean, Sam needs to come and rescue him, pronto.
You handled the nightmares very well, just enough detail to paint the carefully selected scenes for the reader. And lots of what Dean's feeling, and with nightmares, it's the feelings that matter the most. nxiously awaiting the next chapter!
Yeah the song was a little bit af a red herring, not a lot of romance going down here!
I'm pleased you liked the nightmares, I was trying to go for a real uneasy feeling, dredging up past pain, rather than out and out terror. For me, the terror lies in being unable to escape from them and Dean does always like to be in control of a situation...
Thank you for taking the time to read and review. x Jane x
Reviewer: tomash (Signed)
03/06/08 06:56 PM · On:
Awesome, I'm on the edge of my seat, can't wait for an update.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review, and for your kind words. Update to follow very soon.
Thanks again x Jane x
Reviewer: Silvertayl (Signed)
03/06/08 06:19 PM · On:
No, No, No, please don't leave it there, you are too cruel, but I love it, can't wait for more.
Me? Cruel? I promise I won't leave our boy down there on the floor for too long. I hope to post the next chapter by Friday.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. x Jane x
Reviewer: Vanessa (Signed)
03/06/08 05:56 PM · On:
OMG! What an evil cliffy that was!Puhleeeeeze, please, please, hurry up and update!!!!! I'm on my knees begging here.
It wasn't me. The cliffie Demon made me do it!
I can't have you down on your knees begging. Next update very soon, I promise!
Thank you for reading and reviewing. x Jane x
Reviewer: birdie (Signed)
03/06/08 05:43 PM · On:
The dialogue is fast and snappy, descriptions beautifully in character and it's gripping. Great second chapter. Love it.
Love the flash back as it sets the tone so well and the last lines..tension hunny!
More please bev xx
I've stopped playing with the leaves and fishes, I think they might have been hypnotising me!
Thank you so much for reading and for the lovely review, not to mention you and Lou being my Superbetas. Next one should be up soon, now I've figured out how to do it without the insane panicked phonecalls at 1am.
Hope you're not feeling too poorly now, I've totally lost my voice.
Thank you for everything. x Jane x
Reviewer: blackcatswhiskers (Signed)
03/06/08 05:40 PM · On:
Now that was unexpected - nothing supernatural at all. Keep up the great work
Yeah, sorry there's nothing Supernatural about this one. I just couldn't picture a wendigo in the washing or a demon amongst the darks. It's still pretty nasty stuff though.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, next chapter hopefully up for the weekend. x Jane x
Reviewer: Birdy (Signed)
03/06/08 02:33 PM · On:
So, Carbon Monoxide poisoning, eh? And I thought it was gonna be that freaky little loo roll doll...
Always had a bit of a morbid fascination with CM poisoning. Remember watching 'That's Life' with Esther Rantzen as a kid (I was the kid, not her) and being totally freaked by the families wiped out by 'the silent killer'. Much scarier that demons and werewolves and stuff!
Anyway, good chapter. Liked your descriptions of Dean's subconscious torturing him when he can't escape.
Only one complaint, Bev tells me you're a fellow Essex bird, so why on Earth haven't you got both boys down to just their boxers yet? Letting the side down there...
Looking forward to next update. I'm sure you're just slowly building to the stripping. He'll at least need his shirt off for the CPR, right?
Didn't realise you were a fellow Essex girl!! How did you miss Sammy clad in just his towel dripping blood, and Dean, well you might have to wait for chapter 3 or was it chapter 4, but I do believe there's a 'kit off' session somewhere - there's even some bare feet for Bev!! Maybe I should've written an Essex version just for local distribution!!
It was a toss up between freaky loo roll doll and the CM for the 'Big Bad' (I'm actually more scared of those awful dolls, I can't bear them sitting behind me!) but the CM won out in the end.
I remember Esther Rantzen and 'the silent killer', it really is some deadly dangerous stuff. All that lulling you to sleep and not waking up again, ever...Well, unless you've got an awesome little bro waiting to come save you!
Thanks so much for the lovely review. x Jane x
Reviewer: pranami3 (Signed)
03/06/08 01:23 PM · On:
This was awesome. Just Hope that Sammy comes soon to save his brother. This Chapter is so very cooooool!!!!!
Thank you so much for your kind words. Now, where did Sammy get to..?
I'm delighted that you are enjoying the story and thank you for taking the time to read and review. Next chapter to follow soon. x Jane x
Reviewer: RoweenaC (Signed)
03/06/08 12:52 PM · On:
God bless you for the update. I was really looking forward to it. And what a great turn of events....
....the pink and white, lace clad doll that sat impassively on the toilet cistern, her legs impaled into the spare toilet roll, hidden by her layered dress...Strawberry Shortcake Suite.... HAHA. Love the weirdness of that room. And dolls like that are just creepy aren't they? Only old ladies like em. And the name of that room, *fits of hysterical laughter*
....I’m dyin’ here... No one should ever say something imprudent as that, especially if their name is Winchester. God, it's like he is asking for it... Feel forebodings rising...
...#29... Does the story by any chance at all take place in November? I know it's a wild guess. But I've started to really like that number recently. Might still be a coincidence tho... never mind.
...he slowly drifted further from the shores of consciousness......he struggled to escape the dreamland that now held him prisoner.... beautifully written, Jane. And can feel his struggle as if it was my own. Reaching out only never extending far enough... You know what I mean, don't you?(See? I could never do that, helpless. Your description is so much more elaborate!)
....deadly poison .... Awesome. Hurt and dying Dean, poisoned. Haven't had that method in a long time. Actually, don't know if I've read it at all so far... oh, wait. The wendigo in gaelics Ramble On poisoned Dean severely. But I don't think that really counts as it was merely a side effect of the fighting.
....His fathers’ icy glance silenced him ... Awh. Dean, this is so like him to remember a situation when his dad was disappointed by him. And that icy stare. Makes me wanna reach out and hug him... sniffles (only hay-fever!!! honestly, this time of year...)
...the guilt and jealousy, mixed with a wild hope that his dad was still alive... OK. SOBS. No, not pretending anything anymore.
....silently feeling his heart freeze inside his chest ....Mommy... the last word he spoke for six months .... Jane, why are you doin this to me? I can barely write /review like that. Tears rolling down my cheeks freely now! You should've written something at the gathering. Lou would have really cried and I 'd have joined in happily. So touching and such a soft, sweet boy he was and still is, behind all the quips and bad ass attitude. And we all know it and it's the reason why love him....
Thanks big time Jane. Such a lovely and pleasantly sad chapter. Avidly waiting for the next chapter,
Hiya Ilka Darlin',
Ooh, lovely, an Ilka review (dances happily).
Wow, I'm pleased I'm not the only one totally freaked by those toilet roll dolls, she just seemed to match that charming room!!
#29, yeah there could have been some subliminal implanting going on there. Not just November though, what about June!
'Drifting from the shores' well, a little homage there to my nautical past. Can I come along and hug him too, John can be pretty cold and forbidding when he wants to be.
Oh, I'm sorry I gave you hayfever, I must admit I had a touch of it myself writing the fire scene. I'm just a total sucker for a tormented Dean.
I could never write how you all wrote at the gathering. It takes me hours and I have to be locked in an isolation cell - well at least wait till the kids have gone to bed!! Loulou wasn't the only one crying there, I just hadta keep my gameface on!!
Thanks again for your wonderful review. I'm sorry I didn't bring forth the infamous 'drool bucket' this time!!
Next chapter up soon. x Jane x
Reviewer: jenjarfan (Signed)
03/06/08 12:39 PM · On:
I just love this. I so cannot wait until the next chapter. Hurt Dean, my favorite. I know that means a very concerned Sam and that makes the kind of story I love. Thank you
Thank you for reading and reviewing and for your very kind words. Hurt Dean, concerned Sam - my favourite combination! I do hope it doesn't disappoint.
Next chapter hopefully up by the weekend.
Thank you again for the review. x Jane x
Reviewer: calUK (Signed)
03/06/08 12:00 PM · On:
OMG, now you've got me scared! And you didn't even need a horrible thing from the darkside to do it! Tht chapter was amazing, beautifully written, the contrast between the quiet washroom and the nightmares, and that slow, silent killer creeping up on him.
The image of the tears falling as he dreams, that was the moment that really took this chapter beyond great and into incredible, and it just keeps getting better from there - and your cliffie is worse than Kripke's!
Wow, thank you for the awesome review, (blushes). I wasn't sure if the non-supernatural baddie would go down too well but it seemed to fit with the mundane task of doing the laundry! I thought a little bit of normal (well for the Winchesters anyway) wouldn't go amiss..
Carbon monoxide actually terrifies me too, talk about the ultimate stealth killer. Get those boilers checked out!!!
Sorry about the cliffie. Demons made me do it! Not too long to wait though, hopefully have the next chapter up by the weekend.
Thanks again. x Jane x
Reviewer: zuimar (Signed)
03/06/08 11:11 AM · On:
Wow, great update. No monster of the week that gets Dean in trouble this time, that's refreshing! Glad to hear that you plan to post the next chapter soon. You've got me on the edge of my seat with this fic!
Thanks for coming back for more. Yeah, sorry the Big Bad isn't very Supernatural but it's gonna do a number on Dean nevertheless!
I hope to have the next chapter up for the weekend.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. x Jane x
Reviewer: bulletbabe (Signed)
03/06/08 11:02 AM · On:
Great second chapter Jane, and I'm so impressed with this story. Lovely dream sequence and I love the way you've written John, and the dream all muddled in together, it makes it so much more poignant, because it reads as quite real.
Great job and...I beat BEV to first review, awe wont she be pissed...whoooohooo!!!
I'm sure Bev wont be pissed, she's not at all competitive is she?? Oh, no, sorry thinking of someone else. (Pass the Pigs, psycho!!) Lol.
Thank you for the lovely review and shiny stars - of course, without you and Bev and your wonderful Beta jobs, it would still be the insane ramblings of a happily twisted mind!!
I'm pleased you like John, he'll be back for more later!
Thanks again Louy
x Jane x
Reviewer: amethyst (Signed)
02/06/08 11:04 PM · On:
great start looking forward to the next chapter
Hi Amethyst (love the name)
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. Next chapter is on it's way, I hope you enjoy!
Reviewer: beth9874 (Signed)
02/06/08 01:10 PM · On:
I'm intrigued, update soon, please
Thank you for reading and the review. I've just posted chapter 2, so it should be up in a day or two, I hope you enjoy!
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed)
02/06/08 05:41 AM · On:
Wonderful start,i'm looking forward to reading this story.
Thank you for your kind words, I hope you enjoy the rest of it. I've just posted chapter 2 - hopefully I've not messed it up as I'm still getting the hang of it all!
Thank you for the review.
Reviewer: auntm (Signed)
01/06/08 08:39 PM · On:
Okay, I'm in, what happens next?
Even better, thanks for leaving two reviews!
Reviewer: auntm (Signed)
01/06/08 08:39 PM · On:
Okay, I'm in, what happens next?
Thank you for reading and leaving a review. I've just posted chapter 2 so it should be up in a day or so. I hope you enjoy.
Reviewer: MuffyMorrigan (Signed)
01/06/08 02:17 PM · On:
Awesome start, hon! I'm loving this story to pieces already. I love the conversation between the brothers, I can picture them so clearly in my mind--and poor Dean in the Barbie Suite. Poor poor thing.
The end concerns me--I'm worried now and hoping you'll up date soon! (although I can be patient, really. I am patient. Is it done now? Now? How about now???)
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review, are you still on a four hour max with the bedrest? Or have they given you back your laptop yet? Thank you so much for your kind words, they really do mean a lot.
I'm so pleased that you like the story so far and that you think the dialogue is working!
Thank you for your help on the Americanised pink lacy room inspiration, via Birdie. It turned out suitably awful for poor Dean, Sammy seemed to just take it in his stride.
I'll be posting the next chapter real soon.
Hope you're feeling better
x Jane x
Reviewer: alena (Signed)
01/06/08 02:05 PM · On:
Great to see you've posted Jane!
I really liked the description of Sam tackling his plaster itch and I think you've supassed even Eric's motel horrors with the "Barbie" room- so un-Winchester it's brilliant!
I like the way you've woven in Dean's feelings about John, his guilt and loss alongside keeping up his Sammy protector image. It's just the right balance for Dean.
I'm waiting to find out what's in store with the laundry room....
This is a great first chapter and it's definitely got me hanging on for the next chapter.
Glad you liked the plaster itch and the 'Barbie' suite - scary place.
There's a few more visits by John to come, so poor Dean's in for a bit of a rough time. Bless him!
Now as for the laundry room - well I'm posting chapter 2 very soon. Hope you enjoy!
Thanks so much for the review, see you soon.
x Jane x