Reviewer: jp123 (Signed)
10/06/08 08:10 PM · On:
loved it you did a great job, looking forward to more stories from you.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and for the beautiful stars. x Jane x
Reviewer: RoweenaC (Signed)
10/06/08 07:11 PM · On:
Wuuuaaah. Last one, sniffles. You take care to write something else, Jane! Or I'll pester you via email until you yield!!! And thanks for putting me on your fav list, so flattered. Gotta say, what a roller coaster ride, again.... have pulled some stuff together in my quotes, otherwise it'd have been longer than that long (more than 6000!?) chapter itself. Took me 13 chapters to break that sonic barrier!
....the tones of his brother close by, safe, grounding him.....Sammy!....No don’t... Please.’ He silently begged. ‘Please don’t go, don’t leave me..... Love how he tries to hold on to him... how he can only hear Sam's voice clearly... underlines how Sam is his lifeline, well done!
....a heavy smoker.... Got a bad conscience there. Guess I have to cut down or stop... hm.
....He howled silently.....calling out for his brother, over and over until the darkness reached out to claim him once more.... Nice contrast between howling and silently. And oh, how sad and soul-wrenching is this idea of Dean calling out without being heard. Kinda reminds me of NRFTW...
...10:41AM.... You really caught my attention here. Actually went and searched the scene to make sure it was the same (!) time... Awesome idea!!
...racoons....stuffed racoon .... Not saying anything but : LOL!!!
...the scream of pure agony that poured from him... Felt sick to my stomach here. I hate to have shoulders relocated. My left one got dislocated once and it hurt like hell. Maybe that's why I love (in a sick way) if Dean has his done. DROOL BUCKET.
... Sammy Sammy’s long gone I miss him so bad, it hurts.” Me too, kiddo… Me too.”.... Dad Dad’s gone Oh, god, I miss him so bad, it hurts Yeah, me too, Dean. Me too.”... JESUS, Jane! How brilliant and poetic... Outta words. Love the parallel approach. Actually went back and copied more than I started. This is the best part in the whole story!!!! How terrifying and heartbreaking, disturbing and depressing. The people he loves most gone... SOBS. Got to stop for a minutes. This is writing at its best. Honey. You just broke my heart. If I weren't a Dean-girl already you surely would have me converted by that!!!!
....“Like I’ve been run over by a truck. Oh and Yeah! I do know what that feels like”... LOL. Like his humour so much. And it's a sign that he is better. Thank god.
...now it’s freakin’ plumbin’ too.... HAHA! Had me in hysterical fits here. After the tears from earlier, a very much needed insertion.
...chopstick... Was already wondering where that thing had gone to....And then again in the end. You're awesome at humour, babe! Laughed out loud here! ...chopstick spun crazy cartwheels...
......Irritability..... That side effect is a new character trait to Dean, huh?! Hehe *winks*. And sure enough, Sam can't withstand the teasing opportunity, hehehehe: ....“Irritability, speech/gait disturbances, higher intellectual malfunctions! Dude, it sounds like you on a good day!”....
....necklace... Never without the necklace. I could tell you why he needs it, but that'd spoil you for my multi-chapter, in case you haven't read it by now. Hehe. Walking and talking billboard, me!
....two dog-eared, slightly coffee-stained photographs.....last picture he’d ever taken of his father gave in to the emotions.... Bye-bye laughs, hello tears. Like it how he finally gives in. That boys surely needs some cleansing tears. He's been so in control since his dad's death. I am gonna keep him company and we'll share a tissue (eeeww, disgusting, even if it's Dean!).
...“I guess I got my chance to get my hands on your brothers ‘smalls’ after all.”... And up it goes again, free-ride on the roller coaster. Jeez, I'm actually a little dizzy now...
...I’m not sure I could sleep with all this wildlife staring at me... Neither could I. Not a real improvement to the nightmarish strawberry shortcake room, huh? And you put another raccoon reference in, hilarious. You should consider designing the motel rooms for the actual show. You've come up with some real nightmares.
....”Driver picks the music…Shotgun shuts his cakehole!” ... YAY, way to go Sammy! You got back at him for all those times. However, I like Dean's music... And btw, I am trying to find a shop that makes a sticker to put inside my car proclaiming the Winchester family's most important rule. Would love to have that. Would shut my Sam (boyfriend) up for some time about the “damn classic Dean-Winchester-crap”... hehe.
....Oh, god! I’m in hell..... Nope not yet. Wait another one and a half seasons. You'll be in hell for the whole friggin summer leaving all those Hunter GaLs behind in nervous anticipation of your heroic resurrection... still biting my fingernails... hmpf.
So Jane. You happy being an author? I am happy you are one! Please, do me the favour of writing more of that twisted, humorous, drool-inducing, heart wrenching stuff! Remember I know your email address!!! Hugs ya, Ilka/RoweenaC.
Hiya Ilka Honey,
Wow, where do I begin!! I'll start at the end, yes, I am totally happy to be listed up there in the Authors bit, and I've had such a blast writing this one that I can't imagine not doing it again!! It would be worth it just for one of your reviews alone!
I couldn't resist the... Oh, god! I'm in hell... knowing where he's now ended up. I'm more into Dean's music myself but Bev has recently won me over to the Dixie Chicks as I do like a bit of C & W too.
I did have a lot of fun with the motel rooms and those darned racoons - they just get everywhere!!
So at least I managed to make you laugh this time - not just cry and even the drool bucket gotta mention... I figured Dean had to have a few cleansing tears and I'd gladly share a soggy tissue with him!!
10:41 has stuck in my head ever since I first watched IMTOD. That TOD call was a real heartbreaker, I figured that time would always be a trigger for them both.
Yeah!! You liked the final demise of the chopstick, Dean was supposed to snap it in half first but he wasn't really mad enough to do it.
Ouch! Sorry about the shoulder, didn't know you'd dislocated yours - how did I do on the pain scale?
I'm so pleased you liked the 'I miss him so bad, it hurts.' bits, cause they were a constant source of uncertainty to me, they got moved and removed half a dozen times. Dean is at his most irresistable when he's hurt and confused and got his guard down!! (give us a lend of your drool bucket!)
Anyway, Thank you for the wonderful reviews, comments and the beautiful sparkling stars. Roll on the 29th!! See ya soon. x Jane x
Reviewer: Winchester_Warriors (Signed)
10/06/08 06:58 PM · On:
Awesome! Wow! Great job getting the boys emotions! I really liked the part when Sam is waiting for news and it's 10:41am. Beautiful!
Hiya Winchester_ Warriors,
Thankyou so much for reading and reviewing and for the lovely shiny stars. I'm pleased you liked the 10:41am, it took quite a bit of manoeuvering to get Sammy into the right spot for that one!
Thanks again. x Jane x
Reviewer: Aigredoux (Signed)
10/06/08 06:08 PM · On:
Fantastic! A near perfect fic. The only small issue I have is I think that the parallel between John and Sam in the last chapter could have been slightly more subtle without losing any recognition or significance.
Other than that it's perfect- neat mix of drama/angst and humour/banter. Powerful imagery painted vivid images in my mind.
I was thrilled to pieces at the darkly amusing irony of Sam having to pull Dean to safety through a pool of coffee. Then the dust and dirt clinging to the subsequently damp attire, and tear tracks down Sam's grimy face- great attention to detail.
He flipped the keys through the air and Sam’s long fingers flashed, plucking the carved wooden fob from the air mid-flight. He fumbled, left-handed with the door lock, clutching his battered laptop under his broken right arm.
- a sample of what I love about your narrative style.
Brilliant characterisation and attention to both the brothers. Love the banter! I particularly enjoyed Sam ripping Dean after it all calmed down.
“Better watch out for that paranoia and irritability, Dean.” Sam laughed at the closed door.
“Bite me, dude!” Came the muffled reply.
Should you write more fics (please do!) I will look forward to reading!
Thank you so much for your very kind words and constructive comments. The Sam/John parallel in the final chapter has been an area of real difficulty for me, it was in and out of the story half a dozen times, so i really do appreciate your input.
I'm delighted that you enjoyed the characterisation and banter, the boys really are fun to write when they are giving each other stick!!
I've had a great time writing this - I never knew how addictive it really is!! Thank you for the review and shiny stars. x Jane x
Reviewer: Vanessa (Signed)
10/06/08 05:36 PM · On:
I loved this last chapter. In fact, I loved the entire story and am sorely sad to see it come to an end.
I hope you enjoyed writing enough that you intend to do more stories. I'm looking forward to them,
Thank you Vanessa for your lovely comments and reviews, I was kind of sorry (in a thank god it's done sort of way) when it ended.
I've thoroughly enjoyed the writing experience - although I had to put myself into isolation to get it done and I really missed reading and reviewing - but I think I've caught the writing bug!!
Thanks for the sparkly stars! x Jane x
Reviewer: heather03nmg (Signed)
10/06/08 05:26 PM · On:
I absolutely loved the story from start to finish.
Perfect blend of Kripke's vision and your own.
Loved the parallels between the flashbacks and the present.
Awesome job staying true to the character's voices.
And I loved, loved, loved your sick Dean and worried Sammy!
Thank you so much for your very generous comments and review. I'm delighted that you enjoyed the flashbacks and that you think the dialogue worked. I've got a major soft spot for hurt Dean and worried Sammy too!!
Thank you for the shiny stars! x Jane x
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed)
10/06/08 05:21 PM · On:
A lovely ending to a brilliant story.
I loved it.thankyou.
Thank you for sticking with it till the end and for your kind comments and reviews. I pleased you enjoyed it. x Jane x
Reviewer: Andromeda171 (Signed)
09/06/08 11:55 AM · On:
Wow just wow
When is the next update?
Thank you for stopping by and reading/commenting and for the shiny sparkly stars.
Next/last chapter just submitted, so hopefully up soon. x Jane x
Reviewer: alena (Signed)
09/06/08 06:32 AM · On:
Onto chapter 3....
You really know how to amp up the anxiety levels Jane!
Sam to the rescue- hooray!
I love the reminiscences from their childhood that you weave into the story. Dean protecting Sam as usual and torn between doing that and fear for his father's safety- gets me every time! The segue into the present for Dean in the ambulance was very well done and I like the way you transfer from one brother to the other.
Really looking forward to chapter 4 (and not as it means the end of the story)...
Sam took his time but got there in the end - Bless him!
Thank you so much for the lovely comments, I am fascinated by the boys formative years.
Last chapter just submitted so hopefully up soon.
Hope to see you soon. x Jane x
Reviewer: alena (Signed)
09/06/08 06:25 AM · On:
I see you've sneaked in two chapters while I've been out of action- all the more for me to get my teeth into!
Another great chapter- laundry has never seemed so fraught with danger...
It was heart wrenching to see Dean's past recollections of falling asleep waiting for laundry while on "Sammy duty" and the thought of the threatened punishment from John. Then you hit me with that snippet of the three Winchesters outside their house and the devastating realisation by Dean that hisife has been torn apart, but still not fully understanding it.
Loved the trusty chopstick and Sam and I can fully sympathise with his struggles to get into the pain killers!
Let's hope that Sam twigs that something's wrong quickly!
P.S. Did you get my e-mail? I sent it to your yahoo address.
Pleased you like the scary laundry!! Poor Dean is revisiting some pretty bleak moments from his childhood in this one. He's not long lost his dad and I feel he would be pretty cut up inside by it all.
Yeah, how difficult is it to open those bottles even with two good arms! Dean's not so keen on the trusty chopstick, unfortunately...
I've not quite got to grips with my yahoo mail yet, I've only just discovered IM. Ntl's still my main email. I'll try and figure out how to get on there though.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. x Jane x
Reviewer: mymuseandi (Signed)
09/06/08 04:53 AM · On:
Oh good! at least Sam's there to the rescue...although it pains me to think that whenever Dean/Sam is unconscious they only remember the bad parts of their childhood and never the happy ones?? it's like their own mind refuse to grant them some temporary peace or something...
Fear giving way to total panic, he clawed his way to consciousness, the weight of his father heavy in his arms still more real than the nightmare he’d woken into.
Aww....he misses John!!! *sniffs* that boy could really tug at our heartstrings...
Thank you so much for your comments. I agree it is awful to only remember the sad/bad parts. I felt at this point Dean is really missing his dad and I was trying to portray Dean having traumatic flashbacks here because he's having a real hard time dealing with his dad's death/sacrifice and his last words about Sam in the real world.
I'm kind of hoping they'll lead to somewhere a little more positive! At least that's the idea...
And yeah, he's certainly tugging at our heartstrings - don't you just wanna give him a big hug!!
Thank you again x Jane x
Last chapter just submitted.
Reviewer: RoweenaC (Signed)
08/06/08 07:46 AM · On:
Damn. Already chapter 3. So only one left. I hate it if a good story ends. Like parting with a good friend. Brilliant chapter, Jane. Loved every last word. Quoted a lot, always a sign of being sucked in by the chapter. Well done, baby. Humour, action, angst, hurt, protective!Sam and sweet, sad memories. What's there to wish for? Maybe Dean stripped to his boxers, hehe... uhm. Back to reviewing, my bucket is filled to the rim anyway.
...the dizzy spell that had passed over him in the shower... Yeah. I was reminded of that, too. So the CO came into their shower, too?
...fold his ‘smalls’ as she’d so quaintly referred to their underwear....Ha. That Muriel really is a typical old lady. Guess she bought that doll and decorated the room. And the thought of her poppin' in while Dean busies himself over their underwear, HILARIOUS. Can see Dean blushing in my mind. Lady-charmer, right, but grandma peeping, that would be too much even for him.
....as her eyes raked him from head to toe, obviously liking what she saw... Her eyes lingered on his face just a little too long for his comfort. He blushed and hurriedly exited, stumbling on the low step in his haste, grateful at least that his brother was not there to witness his discomfort.... ha. Drool bucket. For me and the coffee shop girl. Excessive drooling time.... Sam's reaction is so like him. And yeah, Dean would've had a field day mocking him for it! Too bad he couldn't be there.
...Maybe one day I’ll get him to try something just a little less devoted to E numbers and cholesterol.... Fat chance! Only if hell freezes over. Which might actually be the topic of one epi someday... What a thought! Dean eating lettuce other than in a greasy burger!
Don't friggin take your time, Sam! Hurry back! Dean needs you.... Crap, he is dying! Had to slip my thoughts in here. Sam did really take his time, didn't he? All the while I was sitting here, clutching the desk and Dean was slipping into oblivion...
....like it hypnotises.... Hahaha. Yeah. Funny if it weren't a life-threatening situation though.
....coffee slipped unfelt, forgotten, from his hand to crash and splatter over the floor ....Like the reference to IMToD a lot. One of my fav epis. And it must be even worse for Sam to find Dean on the floor unconscious than his dad, as Dean is really more of a father to him than John. Heart-wrenching.
...rocking, chanting his quiet litany, begging it all to stop, trying to absorb the shocks, to share the pain.... wuuuaaaa. Sobbing, pictured them huddled on the floor, Sam's desperate, tear soaked face and Dean unconscious and twitching in spasms... God. Have to take a minute and go get my tissues... Tears welling up while reviewing. Rare occasion...
....subconsciously mirroring Deans’ method of giving comfort.... AWH. So sweet and loving. Both brothers are such caring persons. I wish more men were that way...
....to reassure his younger brother that nothing was really wrong ... Please be okay, dad ...Suck it up, use the fear, boy ..... Dean. Even as a child, a master of the game face. And always the one to take care of his family. And by the way, don't you think that there is something wrong with picture of ten and 14 years-old boys holding firearms in the dead of the night, scared to just rush outside to greet their overdue daddy? Where are my tissues?
.....Millennium Falcon .... Ha, that cleared away the moisture in my eyes as I looked around to my boyfriend's collection of Star Wars merchandise. Love it when they quote Star Wars on the show...
....instantly knew the touch of his brothers’ hand on his face and instinctively leant into it...groped reflexively towards his brother.....Don’t leave me. Sammy.... alright. Here I go again, you so owe my a refill on tissues Jane. I love it when Dean is half conscious and incapable of hiding his emotions and reflexes. Leaning in to Sam and then his whispered plea. Uch. Evoking emotions like the last scene on NRFTW. Sam is his lifeline, indeed.
....Aah, Jeez, could this suck any more.... Haha. Had to laugh here. Always fighting medical treatment. So like Dean. You got the boys captured real good, Jane.
Thanks for this multi-layered, many-faceted chapter. Desperately expecting the last (Crap!!!) one. Please update soon. Hugs, Ilka
Thank you so much for the stunningly huge, in-depth review. I read it this afternoon but I was coughing so much I had to go to bed for a couple of hours. I didn't think I could do your reply justice then, so I thought I'd try again now I'm back up.
You picked up on the dizzy spell in the shower, I didn't think anyone had noticed that one. The CO was spreading to all the adjoining rooms, it might have got both of them in their sleep!!
I had a lovely time envisioning both Deans' discomfort at a sweet lecherous old gal smoothing out his 'smalls', and then Sams' reaction to being hit upon by a pretty young thing, so different to Deans'. At least the drool buckets made an appearance this time - nothing like a bit of eye-raking!!
I love that you found Sams' dawdling frustrating; even whilst writing it I wanted him to rush back but he just kept taking his time in all that lovely fresh air. He was just feeling chilled....
Then the shit hit the fan!! I shed a tear or two on that laundry room floor too.
I'm intrigued by the thought of the lifestyle the boys would've had growing up. As you say, Dean, protector, master of the game face, and yes, there is somthing hugely wrong with the guns in the night scenario - even if your name's Winchester.
Yeah! Star Wars rocks!
You know Ilka, it sounds like you get through nearly as many tissues as me. Nothing like a bit of Dean with his guard down. Aah, Bless him!
I'm delighted that you think I've captured the boys style, you have to be careful cause everybody knows them so well.....
I'm posting the last chapter hopefully tomorrow evening. Just a couple more tweaks!!
Loves Ya x Jane x
Reviewer: bulletbabe (Signed)
07/06/08 02:45 PM · On:
Hehehe, the whole chopstick thing really cracks me up every time I read it...surprised he's not working his way through the silverware drawre...lol
Great update to this awesome story Jane, I't getting better and better as you find your feet and get into your groove...
Keep it coming mate!
He may just have to start on the silverware drawer before too long...lol
Thank you so much for helping me find my groove in the first place! Let alone for all the reading, betaing, bannering etc etc. I've loved every minute of it.
Cheers Louy. x Jane x
Reviewer: bia1007 (Signed)
07/06/08 07:12 AM · On:
Great chapter! Their way out of this laundry, I'm still in shock - the coffee trace was some impressive picture! Loved it, loved it, loved it!!!
Thank you again for your lovely comments and review. I'm so pleased you are enjoying it. Next chapter should be up by the start of the week - hopefully.
Thanks for the shiny stars too. x Jane x
Reviewer: bia1007 (Signed)
07/06/08 07:10 AM · On:
Seems impossible this really is your first story, it's awesome!! The way you worked in Dean's nightmares is scary good, these insights are so painful. And what an evil cliffhanger at the end, your're a real torture-queen!
Aaw, thank you so much for your very kind words, I'm delighted that you like the story. Poor Dean's in for a few nightmare/memories in this one. Sorry about the cliffie, a demon made me do it!
Thanks for reading, reviewing and for the lovely shiny stars! x Jane x
Reviewer: amethyst (Signed)
06/06/08 06:49 PM · On:
I've just realized that this is your first story WOW! can't wait to read more from you
Yeah, my first ever story, my hands still shake when a review comes in. It's been terrifying but in a totally addictive, can't wait to do it again, sort of way!
Thank you for your kind words and reviews. x Jane x
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed)
06/06/08 12:29 PM · On:
Two brilliant chapters,poor Dean.
I'm really enjoying this story.Looking forward to more.
Thank you for you kind words and for taking the time to read and review.
Only one more chapter to go. Hopefully up very soon. x Jane x
Reviewer: zuimar (Signed)
06/06/08 05:53 AM · On:
You're doing such a good job with this fic, unbelievable! You really are talented! Keep it up!
Thank you for sticking with it, I'm pleased you're still enjoying it,
Next/last chapter up soon.
Thank you for the reviews. x Jane x
Reviewer: Birdy (Signed)
06/06/08 04:03 AM · On:
Hi Jane, ok you got me I was very ungrateful for the whole 'Sam dripping blood in nowt but a towel' scene and I apologise profusely. Now, about getting them out of their coffee stained clothes...
Aaaand back to the review. Good chapter; hooray for Sasquatch finally coming to the rescue! Like the way you merged Dean's dream with reality, the disorientation was very well described.
Also love Sam's unhealthy chopstick thing. Makes me grin everytime I read it. I appreciate inanimate objects in recurring roles.
Looking forward to (last?) chapter.
Haha, no apology needed, I'm guessing your a 'Dean girl', ignoring Sammy in his towel!! I was going to go for the 'kit off - bed bath' scenario but it got lost along the way!!
I'm pleased you enjoyed the rescue, I had visions of Sam doing a 'Bambi' across that slippery floor. Poor Dean's spending a fair bit of time disorientated in this one.
Sam and his chopstick - I hope it doesn't disappoint at the end!!
Last chapter hopefully up early next week. Thank you so much for the lovely reviews. x Jane x
Reviewer: Swellison (Signed)
05/06/08 11:20 PM · On:
Yay! Sam rescued Dean from the laundromat. Very good description, liked using the spilled coffee to reflect what's going on in the scene. And another interesting nightmare/memory for Dean, which segued neatly into the ambulance's arrival in reality. Nice chapter, more please. Sue
Aah Dean, I couldn't leave him on the floor for much longer, bless him!
I must admit, once Sam had dropped the coffee I had to find something to do with it. LOL. Im pleased you enjoyed the nightmare/memory.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Last chapter up soon. x Jane x
Reviewer: tvbatina (Signed)
05/06/08 10:44 PM · On:
When you wrote his name was Luther I totally thought of Dead Man's Blood. LOL
Anyway, loved the update. Poor Dean, asking for dad. So heartbreaking.
Can't wait for more!
I kept trying to change his name but Luther just refused to go. LOL... What a great place for BMD's Luther to work though, if he'd survived - he was very hot, for a vamp!!
Just a little more heartbreak on the way, hopefully! Only one more chapter to go, should be up by the end of the weekend.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review.
x Jane x
Reviewer: Vanessa (Signed)
05/06/08 08:15 PM · On:
YAY! I was waiting for the big rescue and it didn't disappoint! Was hoping maybe Dean would be bad off enough that he'd have to get treatment in a hyperbaric chamber 'cause I'm just sick that way. lol But it looks like he might not have to be.
Wonderfully superb update. Thank you for this little fix tonight.
I couldn't leave our boy down on the floor for much longer!
I must admit I did loads of research into CO poisoning and I would have just loved to fly him away to a hyperbaric chamber, but I couldn't get enough detailed info on how to do it properly. So I chickened out, but that would have been hot, guess I'm just sick that way too - all that claustophobia mmmhh!
Thankyou for reading, reviewing, your kind words and the sparkling stars.
x Jane x
x Jane x
Reviewer: jp123 (Signed)
05/06/08 06:41 PM · On:
love it so far, thanks for the update
Pleased you're enjoying it. Thank you so much for the review.
x Jane x
Reviewer: tomash (Signed)
05/06/08 06:31 PM · On:
Can't believe this is your first story - you are doing a great job. Love hurt Dean and loving this story.
Thank you for your kind words and for the review. I have a very soft spot for hurt Dean myself - just so long as he ends up all better again!
x Jane x
Reviewer: blackcatswhiskers (Signed)
05/06/08 05:49 PM · On:
Just great, Jane, can't wait for the next bit
Pleased you're still enjoying it, only one more to go now. Hopefully up by the end of the weekend.
Thankyou so much for taking the time to read and review. x Jane x