I am so glad Dean finally got out. I was a little afraid of the torture Meg would inflict and the fact that she enjoyed it so much, that...

Well I'll say now that I'm enjoying your hell. The seeming reprieve Dean gets from physical torture only to be brought low by mental one. And the way the demons taunt him...I imagine that's what SPN hell would be like if we'd been given more detail. I also love the use of the biblical verses to get across some of the more potent imagery.

Sam's pain too struck me to the heart as well as Bobby's. You really showed his deep care for the Winchesters without belaboring the point.

Wee!Dean, boy was he harsh to grown up Dean but I guess it makes sense. I liked the interaction especially as Dean didn't know who he was and I loved the charge when he accused Dean of never paying attention to him.

Great Read!

Author's Response:

Thanks so much!  It is awesome to get such a lovely review on an older story.

While it was hard seeing Dean being tortured and abused in Hell, it was also very interesting to imagine what kind of torture would hurt him the most.  Dean can take physical pain, he is tough and determined, but what has always most hurt him is the emotional stuff.  Feeling like he wasn't the man Dad wanted him to be, feeling that his family would leave him.

When I was writing this I had no idea Kripke would actually go there with angels and God in his universe.  He was always so adamant that God wasn't a part of his Supernatural world, and yet so many signs pointed to heavenly intervention and really, who deserves to be saved by God more than a Winchester?

I always see the love and devotion between Sam and Dean and I knew losing Dean would trigger so much pain and regret.  While this story focuses more on Dean, the pain Sam and Bobby also felt was immense.

I loved writing wee!Dean fighting for himself.  Dean does need to practice self-care and in his rush toward manhood and his need to protect Sam, he did neglect his own desires and needs.

I am very proud of this story, it seems to have come together very well.  I am so glad you are enjoying it, thanks again, B.J.

Oh my gosh, this chapter almost stilled my blood, half with dread, half with sadness, and half almost with amusement.

You're painfully good at pointing out the truly desperate state of Dean's psyche.  I mean really, I don't think it gets any more damaged than Dean Winchester.

Wonderful, horrible chapter.  lol.

Author's Response:

Thanks, Melanie, isn't Dean the most fascinating character to write for though?  I really liked writing this chapter and having the kid Dean want for something.  You get the feeling that he never even thought he deserved anything, yet alone ever asked for it. 

And yet as damaged as he is, he still functions so well in his job and in protecting his family.  You just want him to take care of himself for once.

Take care, B.J.

A fantastic ending to a beautiful emotional journey for us and Dean.  You, as always, captured who Dean is and thank you for taking us on his journey - amazing! 

Author's Response: Thanks again, really glad you liked how I finished out the story.  And it's always good to hear I captured Dean... now if I could only keep him contained... LOL  Later, B.J.

thankyou for a riveting story, :-)


Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing.  I spend a ridiculous amount of time writing my stories so it is always nice to know others appreciate them.  Take care, B.J.

Thank you for this story, it's been an amazing journey of emotions.

You should be proud of this wonderful chapter and indeed the whole story, thanks again.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!  To think this story started out with my shortest chapter ever and was supposed to be a one shot and yet it turned into my longest story ever.  My how those Winchesters take you for a ride!

Thanks for the support.  Take care, B.J.

Hi BJ I feel very sad at the moment because this wonderful chapter means that my favourite story on the site is complete, but it’s a happy, sad ‘cos now I can go back and read it whenever I want. I loved this last chapter, the change from the almost lazy pace of Dean’s thoughts to the panic of the storm coming, and you can feel Dean’s panic there like it is a living, breathing thing and then change of pace again as the rainbow appears, a promise that he has weathered the storm and things will get better.  I love John telling Dean to just keep driving and not ever look back…something that we all should do sometimes. And then Sam is there, as always, willing to talk, willing to listen, willing to just be there. To catch Dean in the moments when he falters. You show that both brother’s love each other without conditions; wholeheartedly and embracing, each one the other’s rock.  Dean willing to go on not despite of his fears but because of them, because this is who he is. A fighter; beaten, bloody but never truly broken.  I love how the whole way through this story you make me feel that I am in Dean’s head, you take the man apart better than a whole host of demons could and then you piece him back together beautifully, leaving just a few of his flaws showing – as how it should be. I can see every piece of this story play out in my head as I read it, you write it so well.  I think that you’ve taken the essence of the man that Jensen has breathed life into on the screen and done the same on the page and I love it. I love stories that rip open Dean’s chest and pull out his heart and you did that beautifully, both literally and figuratively. Raw and painful in places, uplifting and comforting in others but always beautiful and totally enthralling. A great take on Dean’s trip to and recovery from hell. Thanks honey, take care ‘til the next one, Mary x  

Author's Response:

Mary, what can I possibly say to respond to such a wonderful, insightful review?  Thank you!

I love that you got everything I was trying to put into this story and I love that you think my words captured Dean and his journey.

I find so much to admire with the Winchesters and particularly Dean.  We all should be as brave and fearless when facing our own personal trials.

This story was rough at times.  You can't possibly consider Dean spending that much time in Hell and not touch on the horror of that.  But ultimately it is a story of survival and hope.

I always love examining the man that Dean is, including all his fears and regrets and his dashed hopes.  The fact that he does keep fighting makes him the ultimate hero.  It is never easy, but he keeps doing what is right.

Jensen has made Dean such an amazing character and he makes him come to life on screen.  To think I could possibly come anywhere close to breathing life into him on the page is the ultimate compliment.

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, for all your support on this story.  Until next time, take care, B.J.

Just got back into the story, and i love this chapter! Although it's AU now but man, it's great! Love Sam and Dean's reunion, appropriately angsty, since it wasn't really for the canon..I'm off to the next chapter..

Author's Response: So glad to have you back!  Yes, I had to have my angsty, emotional reunion.  I knew this story would be AU since Kripke is impossible to predict.  And we wouldn't want it any other way, would we?  Later, B.J.

Wow another two brilliant chapters and I am going to miss this story when you are done.  Although, one can always re-read.  Ch19 was particularly heartwrenching and you brought such realness to the page portraying what Dean was feeling.  I look forward to the final chapter (with a little sadness too).  Thanks for this great story.

Author's Response:

Thanks again!  Sorry the next chapter didn't post as planned... I had an unfortunate incident.  LOL

I hope to post the final chapter tomorrow.  I hope it finishes out the story strong.  Take care, B.J.

Sorry - I've been a bit lax. This has been a really neat story and I'm enjoying every chapter. I also love happy endings.......

Author's Response: Thanks, I appreciate hearing you've enjoyed my little story.  I too love happy endings.  The Winchesters lives are tough, but they always seem to persever, particularly in my stories.  Take care, B.J.

Hi BJ

Wow, I don't read many fanfics with tears in my eyes the whole way through but this chapter was amazing. Raw, powerful and sensual.

I had a whole sea of shifting emotions reading it.

Dean so alone and lost in the first part and then connecting and opening up to his brother....absolutely wonderful...I loved it.

Just ...wow

Mary x

Author's Response: Hey, Mary, thanks again!  What a truly lovely review.  Dean is going thru the entire range of emotions and it was nice to have Sammy there for him.  I'm gonna be sad to leave this story, but one more chapter and I think it is complete.  Later, B.J.

Wanted to let you know I am thoroughly enjoying this story.  I like the way you are writing the emotions of each of the characters.  And your description of Hell.... Oh my!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!  I'm finishing up the next chapter and almost ready to post.  Take care, B.J.

Why on earth would you doubt yourself, this was a wonderful chapter.

It was lovely that Dean could relax and talk to Bobby, i think that Dean is slowly starting to heal.

Author's Response:

Thanks, I do appreciate it.  I always doubt myself! LOL  I do love writing Bobby and Dean and I do see Bobby as a huge support for Dean. 

Dean is starting to heal, but it is a tough road and he will have his good moments and then his bad.  He will make it though, he is too tough to let Hell best him.

Thanks again and take care, B.J.

I love this story.  It's one of my favorites.  Looking forward to the next 3. Wish I could write this well.

Author's Response: Thanks!