Reviewer: Cuddles13 (Signed) · Date: 02/08/09 01:55 PM · On: Sacrifice
I guess I can understand where John is coming from in a way. I feel so sorry for Sam and Dean.
Reviewer: Cuddles13 (Signed) · Date: 02/08/09 01:42 PM · On: Fix Him
I'm glad that Sam got out of that. Let sjust hope all goes well for now.
Reviewer: Cuddles13 (Signed) · Date: 02/08/09 01:06 PM · On: Reinforcements
What's missouri diong there? I wonder how she can help?
Reviewer: Cuddles13 (Signed) · Date: 02/08/09 12:52 PM · On: Scream for Mercy
What's happened? Why doesn't Sam remember John? What did YED do to him? I'm hoping all my questions are answered in the next chapter.
Reviewer: Cuddles13 (Signed) · Date: 02/08/09 12:32 PM · On: First Test
What are they planning? Sam is being really silly, skipping school to go to a creepy, old house. John and Dean aren't going to be happy.
Reviewer: Cuddles13 (Signed) · Date: 02/08/09 11:18 AM · On: Not Yet
Maybe they should tell Sam why he can't go to strange kids house. I'm sure he'll understand. I wonder what those 3 demons are up to.
Reviewer: Cuddles13 (Signed) · Date: 02/08/09 11:01 AM · On: The Dark Haired One
Sam is so sweet. Dean is a good brother but he can be a bully. LOL.
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed) · Date: 07/07/09 06:32 AM · On: Sacrifice
A great story, i enjoyed it. thanks for the read.
Reviewer: supernatfem76 (Signed) · Date: 06/07/09 05:56 PM · On: Sacrifice
You definitely achieved your three goals for the story. I liked your take on Bobby and John's falling out and why John Winchester decided to train Sam and Dean like soldiers for their protection. Great job writing Bobby and John's argument. You did an excellent job on this story. I look forward to reading your other ones.
Reviewer: aripagetx_uk (Signed) · Date: 06/07/09 09:48 AM · On: Sacrifice
Good ending... Just curious Where did John go off to?
Author's Response: You're right. Thank you for your comment. I added another paragraph for you and I hope it answers your question.
Reviewer: supernatfem76 (Signed) · Date: 25/05/09 07:09 PM · On: Fix Him
I liked the dialogue. I loved John's reason for letting Dean go to school to get intel about the three boys and the math teacher. That is so typical of John. I loved your description of Missouri. I liked Missouri even though she was only featured in Home. I have really enjoyed reading this story. I will hate to see it end. I look forward to reading the last chapter of this very entertaining story.
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed) · Date: 25/05/09 05:26 AM · On: Fix Him
Im glad that Missouri was able to get Sam back, looking forward to the final chapter.
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed) · Date: 20/05/09 11:30 AM · On: Reinforcements
I enjoyed this chapter, it's good that Missouri's coming to help John and Bobby.
Reviewer: penmin (Signed) · Date: 20/05/09 08:01 AM · On: Reinforcements
Just read the whole thing up to this one, sorry I missed it until now...very, very gripping, dark and scary...good one, looking forward now to the next chapter Jacq
Reviewer: aripagetx_uk (Signed) · Date: 20/05/09 07:56 AM · On: Reinforcements
suspense continues to build... cant wait for more
Reviewer: supernatfem76 (Signed) · Date: 20/05/09 07:29 AM · On: Reinforcements
I loved all of the scenes in this chapter along with the dialogue. I liked how you introduced Bobby and Missouri into the story. Another fantastic chapter. I look forward to reading Chapter 6.
Reviewer: zz1989 (Signed) · Date: 19/05/09 09:12 PM · On: Scream for Mercy
I have enjoyed reading the story. I hope you get to post another chapter soon.
Reviewer: darkhunter (Signed) · Date: 18/05/09 05:51 AM · On: Scream for Mercy
An exciting chapter, well worth the wait, you could almost feel Jhon and Dean's fear when Sam was missing, very intense.
Reviewer: supernatfem76 (Signed) · Date: 18/05/09 05:31 AM · On: Scream for Mercy
Wow! I really liked this entire chapter. Thanks for the recap. I liked the setup and word choice of this chapter. Excellent job writing the three little demons. I loved the twist with Jason. Phenomenal job!
Reviewer: sam (Signed) · Date: 12/07/08 08:56 AM · On: First Test
For a youngen like Sam, is not going tro be approving to the two elder Winchesters.
Reviewer: sam (Signed) · Date: 12/07/08 08:36 AM · On: Not Yet
We all know the saying of three is acrowd, but with four why not have specail thing. if you know what I mean?
Reviewer: sam (Signed) · Date: 12/07/08 07:56 AM · On: The Dark Haired One
I awsome three hell raised boys by there really name DOOPY! DUMBASS! AND DORKNOB! this sounds like a very good story.
Reviewer: Bounce (Signed) · Date: 03/06/08 06:47 AM · On: First Test
To Lia 76 - Thanks. and believe me, I am happy to "prattle on." I just was not sure that turning the review section into my own personal e-mail was appropriate or fair to other readers. That said, please be assured that when you complete this story that I will give it a full and extended review. If I am any judge of these things, and I have 20 years experience in politics and political writing, so I hope that I at least have some qualifications, you have some real talent here. You may have gleaned your insights from your experience in social work, but it takes skill to translate that into a compelling story. A story is not just plot, but characterization - which is where many writers go wrong. Your characterizations are incredibly effective. I don't want to give anything away of what I plan to say in my completed review, but just to cite one point, I look at your opening vignette of Dean at Sam's bedside and go "Wow!" Superficially, that is a very simple and straightforward scene, but there is some incredibly deep insight there in its handling of both Dean and John - and you have not even yet integrated it into the story!! (I don't want to give away yet what I see in that scene, but it is amazingly effective and links very well to what we know of the characters as portrayed in the show.) Bottom line, it is not easy to take very well known characters, alter them just enough to make them fresh and different and yet keep them recognizable - all the while adding depth and heart to the portrayal. That is a real writer's hat trick and I say again, while any writer can lose a thread and maybe not meet the promise of his or her potential, I see no signs of that here and I am hooked and waiting eagerly for the next installment.
Reviewer: Bounce (Signed) · Date: 01/06/08 06:49 PM · On: First Test
To Lia 76 - I hope that it is not inappropriate to respond to an author's response in this fashion, but I really wanted to add that I think you struck gold with your insight into John Winchester and that it is what makes your story work so well. (That and the fact that you managed to brilliantly fit the personalities we have come to know so well into two growing boys. Outstanding.) The boys could not have turned out as they did - their deep concern for each other and their commitment to hunting - if John had not been a good father. He did what he did because he had to avenge his wife and because he came face to face with a dark reality that most men never see. In fact, when you think of how he could have easily left the boy's behind, you see what he was really trying to do. He went on the hunt because he was both driven by grief and because, ex-Marine that he was, he saw a terrible threat that had to be faced. In this connection, he raised the boys to face a terrible darkness. They paid a price for it, but it also protected them from a deadly danger. (In fact, it is Sam who suffers because he turned away from what his father had taught them.) What John Winchester did, he did out of love and not out of obsession or self-indulgence. By the way, you also capture Dean's love of his family very well, too. Anyhow, I am prattling on for a person who said that he did not like to review incomplete work, but the more I thought about it, the more impressed I became. You demonstrate some real psychological insight and out of the box thinking. That is what separates the good fiction writer from just the average, and you really deserve high praise. You have a bit to go yet, and lots good go off the track, but thus far you really have me hooked and I look forward to further installments and the opportunity to review the completed work.
Author's Response: I don't think it was at all inappropriate for you to respond to my response to your review. I LOVE to hear from readers and all too often there are no reviews or reviews don't give enough detail. So bravo to you for taking the time to give that to me. So "prattle" away if that's what you want to call it, but that communication really drives us writers to keep posting AND make what we post worth posting. I'll try hard to stay on track with John, the boys, and the plot of my story. I agree with your take on them as well. You said that I have some psychological insight? My interest in people lead me to a career in social work and those of us in that type of field have seen a lot...which does help when writing fan fiction.
Reviewer: Bounce (Signed) · Date: 01/06/08 10:35 AM · On: First Test
As I mentioned elsewhere, I don't generally like to review things that are incomplete. That said, so far what you have here is really superb. You have managed to capture the characters and keep them true to what we know and therefore recognizable, even while taking them back to what they were BEFORE we knew them. That takes skill in a writer. Kudos. Also, I have to agree with the reviewer who mentioned John kissing his boys on the head. It is a small detail, but well placed. We already know from the episode "Home" that John Winchester "doted" on his boys. There is no reason to believe that after he gave his life over to hunting - especially when the boys were young - that anything would have changed that. By adding that small detail you subtly kept your story linked to the show's mythology. That demonstrates a real eye for detail on your part and helps the reader stay linked to characters that he knows. Very nicely done. Keep it up.
Author's Response: I am very flattered that you took the time to write such a complimentary and detailed review of my story so far. I know many writers like to paint John in a more negative light, but I like to believe that as important as finding the yellow eyed demon was, he never forgot about the love he had for his boys. It's fun to write about all of the characters when they were younger and I'm glad that you are really enjoying the story.
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